To think whether or not someone is told they're being unreasonable depends a lot on their phrasing?

[HeathcliffMoorland]

Just an observation.

Since I first joined I've got better at avoiding flamings while expressing the same opinion just by changing my language a bit and avoiding certain words. Even if asking if a recent action was unreasonable.

I have also noticed different people posting similar threads and one person getting an easier time than the other, seemingly because of language.

Has anyone else noticed similar, or am I imagining things?

No I think you're right and sometimes it's not what's being said but which poster is saying it that's the dealbreaker.

Agreed, worraliberty.

ooh really worra?

language shapes thought and shows intent, so I think its perfectly normal to treat people differently depending on the language they use. How could you not?

worral is quite right

I agree with that Buzz but some people have more of a problem typing than talking. Also, when you're reading a screen, you can't see mannerisms or expressions so for some people it is difficult to get their point across without being jumped on a bit quickly.

I find it much harder to phrase things when typing. I can make tiny incidents sound huge and vice versa.

In real life, I can say something makes me seethe and mean it with humour. If I type it, I just sound angry. And I try to avoid overuse of emoticons, so that probably doesn't help.

a picture says a thousand words heathcliff

I completely agree. The smileys are there and should be used to emphasise your point..

For example.

My MIL can be such a bitch

would imply that MIL is funny and has amused the op

My MIL can be such a bitch

implies that MIL has really pissed off the op

I do use them.

Just not loads.

I understand when I definitely need to.

I'm just a little bit sparing.

See:

if it's any comfort, I can barely string a sentence together in RL

Well yes people know that if they use sympathetic language etc. they're more likely to get treated well.
So someone will describe a situation where they've been unreasonable to their husband for example but they'll put in caveats "It all got too much for me and we ended up arguing/I've been stressed recently/ hormones" or whatever so they'll encourage sympathy compared to if they just posted what they did.

I think I'd probably be less sympathetic to someone blaming hormones than someone just telling the story. Not sure.