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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinking that if Im too scared to open work emails, its time for stress leave?

38 replies

breathing · 27/02/2011 10:22

My heart is pounding. Im anxious about openeing emails as there is always some crfap on ther...swipey emails, abuse, conflict.

Stress leave?

OP posts:

Original poster

breathing · 27/02/2011 11:05

The person has already copied the request into the bosses.

Just speaking to my husband, Im just going to be head down and looking for another job

OP posts:

Animation · 27/02/2011 11:12

Seems to me that everything is going as it should be - your boss is on with this now - and there's a process to go through. You don't need to do anything - or react. Like you say - keep your head down.

And do something nice today.

edam · 27/02/2011 11:13

breathing, ACAS have a document on bullying and harassment - worth downloading to see if this is what's happening to you. Overloading with work is one sign, as is abuse. They are on the ACAS site. Your employer has a duty of care to you, and bullying and harassment can breach health & safety laws.

Would recommend going off sick if you feel unable to cope. I regret not insisting my mother did this. If you stay at work while you are under so much pressure, it can be dangerous - you might buckle under the strain and under-perform, giving them an excuse to pin the blame on you, not the bully. Unfair but it does happen.

edam · 27/02/2011 11:15

Being expected to answer emails round the clock is unreasonable and could count as overloading with work - do download the guidelines.

Boss is NOT handling it well - she shouldn't have told the subject of the complaint that it was breathing who made it.

Original poster

breathing · 27/02/2011 11:23

edam I didnt even make the complaint.

OP posts:

Ciske · 27/02/2011 11:24

If the harasser copied in your bosses, reply back with what FutureNannyOgg suggested: that you only want to discuss the matter through official channels.

You shouldn't have to feel bullied at work. Speak to your line manager or, if you feel they won't be able to help, raise it with your union.

The issue of being expected to open emails 24/7 is a serious one to address. It leaves you with no time to recharge and focus on your personal life. It's an invasion of your work/life balance. My company has a culture like that (in some teams) but I've always refused to take part. My company expects me to manage my personal life carefully and ensure it does not interfere with work unless there are exceptional circumstances. Similarly, I expect the company to respect my personal time and not invade it unless there is an emergency. It's a business, not a charity. Nobody dies if an email is dealt with on Monday morning instead of Sunday afternoon.

Taking time off with stress is a big step and you might find that the longer you are away, the more difficult it will be to return. Can you take a few days leave instead to clear your head? Contact the people who can support you (union, HR, a senior manager you trust, Employee Helpline if it exists) and decide on how you want to move forward.

Animation · 27/02/2011 11:30

You'll have to have a word with your boss in the morning and ask what's going on.

The bully person seems to be on to you now - and it's put the wind up you - quite rightly.

Animation · 27/02/2011 11:33

If I were you - with high anxiety levels - I wouldn't be doing anything dramatic right now. Just hang in there - and focus on getting some time away - days off or holiday.

givemeaclue · 27/02/2011 14:22

If you go on 'stress leave' by which you must mean sick leave, your employer has a duty of care to address what is making you stressed if it is work related. Which is fine if you are happy to be open with them about your concerns, but if you don't want your issues to be addressed you could actually find the whole thing more stressful. Also, the anxiety of going back to work could make it worse.

I would either follow up on the issues through the proper channels, or get another job.

if you think a couple of days off sick would help then take it (don't say stress, just say flu or something) but it sounds like you would sit at hoome opening emails anyway and getting yourself even more stressed.

Have you read the university's harassment policy to see what it says? Have you spoken in confidence to HR/the union?

I think you have a number of options open to you

good luck

Original poster

breathing · 27/02/2011 14:56

sad thing is Ive just been off for a week

looks like Im on the hunt for a new job

Thanks for the advice :)

OP posts:

Original poster

breathing · 27/02/2011 15:46

just looking for goods jobs websites...any recs?

OP posts:

slug · 27/02/2011 16:37

The obvious one for you is www.jobs.ac.uk

FluffyMuff · 27/02/2011 18:10

I've been using Randstad, Monster, Fish4u, Office Angels, Reed and also the Job Centre website is good.

I personally found Monster the most productive, but it depends what you're looking for.

I have applied for about 20 jobs in the past month, have a great CV, lots of experience and qualifications and yet haven't heard a thing back .

I go back to work tomorrow, I can't be down though. I've had a month off and have felt beyond down, but now it's all about Positive Mental Attitude.

Oh and bucket-loads of WINE!!!!!

I really do wonder if anybody is happy in their job at the moment, from experience it would appear not!

Good luck

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