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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To throw him out???

12 replies

Vajazzler · 26/02/2011 12:06

This morning i dicovered that (not for the first time) my dh has been taking cocaine on the top of our toilet cistern(for the record our toilet flushes from a button on the top of the cistern).
On discovery of this i searched his pockets for more evidence and found a packet of the stuff in his wallet.
I took said evidence and confronted it with him reminding him that the last time i found such evidence he promised never to bring it into the home to endanger our 5 dc's again.
I am LIVID!
I told him i wanted him out so he dressed, and then proceeded to drink 3 cans of beer in the kitchen, so i emptied the rest of the cans in the fridge down the sink and tipped away what was in his glass Blush
AIBU to expect him to keep his promise of not bringing this stuff in our home?

OP posts:
zikes · 26/02/2011 12:08

YANBU, no way should anything like that be where kids could come across it.

squeakytoy · 26/02/2011 12:08

Why the Blush for pouring his beer away. I would have poured it over the fuckers head.

worraliberty · 26/02/2011 12:09

I'm not into drug takers or daytime drinkers for that matter. If he promised not to bring it into the home then of course he should honour that.

What I don't understand is why in his own home he'd choose to take it on top of the cistern like he's in a pub or something?

saffy85 · 26/02/2011 12:09

YANBU I'd kick him the fuck out! Not only has he broken a majorly important promise to you he's endangering his DC by bringing it into the house. They could find his stash I'm sure if they put their minds to it.

FabbyChic · 26/02/2011 12:10

He is drinking this time of the morning?

Can you afford for him to take cocaine? Why would he need it when he is just at home, it's recreational not something you stick up your nose to get through the day.

He sounds a wrongun.

CitrusZest · 26/02/2011 12:10

YANBU!
He is selfish and has a problem. He doesn't keep his word, is putting your DCs at risk and is breaking the law.

Bogeyface · 26/02/2011 12:11

You are living with a man with a drink and drug problem and you are embarrassed that you poured his beer away?!

He needs to leave NOW. Unless you are happy to have your children growing up in a house with a man who may or may not be off his head on Coke or booze at any one time.

For me it would be simple - Leave, get clean and dry and then we'll try again. Leave and dont get clean and dry and its divorce.

squeakytoy · 26/02/2011 12:14

What I don't understand is why in his own home he'd choose to take it on top of the cistern like he's in a pub or something?

I am not sure about that one either. But if the bathroom has a lock on the door I suppose that is probably why.

I would kick him out though. If he is carrying on taking it once he gets home, that is a serious addiction.

Not saying it is right, but taking it while he is out, while with your mates is one thing, but taking it when you are at home with your non-drug taking, sober family, is a completely different matter.

The lager drinking in a morning means he is still off his head.

Deep joy.. not. Nobody needs a tosser like this in their lives.

tallulahxhunny · 26/02/2011 12:20

and i thought i had problems

Snorbs · 26/02/2011 12:20

Social Services would be all over you if they knew there was a class A drug user in the house. Seriously. They would expect you to kick him out otherwise they would see it as you failing in your duty of care towards your children.

And three cans of beer before noon? Crikey.

Honestly, this man is fucked up and you can't fix him. If you let him get away with it again he'll just keep on doing it because he'll know there are zero consequences.

Original poster
Vajazzler · 26/02/2011 12:34

The Blush was because i'm not normally so pro-active.
He does drink at home and it does bother me cos from 11 am he'll crack open a can and drink the rest of the day. It doesnt make him drunk but i hate the way it makes the kids think its normal behaviour.
We dont have a lock in the bathroom as it got stuck one day so it got removed but its the only 'suitable' surface upstairs.
This isnt the first time this has happened and i have asked him to leave before and he usually dissappears to his parents for a week then come back promising never to do it again. Then we'll pootle along for a few months before it happens again.
This time i've had enough. Our dc's deserve a better atmosphere to grow up in.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 26/02/2011 12:36

from 11 am he'll crack open a can and drink the rest of the day. It doesnt make him drunk

It wont, because he is an alcoholic.

You are right, your children do deserve a better atmosphere, but if you regularly boot him out then let him back, then you are giving them the message that his behaviour is ok.

You need to kick him out, and tell him its over unless he gets help.

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