To think that if the FF and BF "camps" joined forces BFing would improve?

[WriterofDreams]

DS is now 8 weeks and mix fed - he gets one bottle of formula a day. When I was making the decision to mix feed I found it quite hard to find any information on it. Most information I found said that I shouldn't introduce formula for the first six weeks, shouldn't pump for six weeks, shouldn't use a bottle only a cup etc etc. It all seemed very biased against using any formula at all. It all seemed so rigid and difficult that I was tempted to give up BFing altogether. DS wouldn't latch after three days and all the advice I got was to keep trying, stay in bed, call helplines. If I wasn't so stubborn that would have finished me off and I would definitely have given up. Instead I gave him formula, calmed down, waited for the extremely helpful MW who sorted out my latch and took up BFing again, with great success.

Surely for a person in my position for whom exclusive breastfeeding isn't really an option (due to medical problems) it's better to BF as much as possible, rather than switching completely over to formula? All the advice I received, especially online, seemed to suggest that exclusive breastfeeding was the only way to go and that if I introduced formula it would have catastrophic results for my supply. I'm sure for many new mothers this sense of rigidity, that it's all or nothing, is hugely daunting and off putting. Wouldn't it be better for the advice to say "feed as much as you possibly can, if you need to use formula, that's ok but aim for exclusive breastfeeding and the closer you come the better." I don't know if it's just me but as a new tired mum I got the sense that BFing was something I had to dedicate myself to come hell or high water in order for it to work. In fact I found that a few bottles of formula here and there where convenient made us both happy and made BFing possible for me, and in fact prevented me from giving up altogether.

So AIBU to think new mums should be given a more balanced view on BFing - a less "all or nothing" approach?

I agree with you 5dollarShake - I've found my boobs to be surprisingly responsive Even when I stopped BFing for two days when DS was 3 days old I really had no trouble starting up again, even though I thought it would be really hard.

YANBU - though I am still not sure which of those camps I belong to, neither really 'fits' me (or I don't fit them).
I started off mix-feeding DS as he struggled to feed from me initially and lost too much weight but by 6 weeks I had him fully on BM. I didn't have much help from HCPs (and the advice I did have differed between MWs) but I was rather bloody minded about it and pumped and pumped until I was expressing enough to feed him only BM. He still took another 2 weeks from then to learn to feed straight from the breast and is now only on the breast. I know I'm lucky (?) that I managed this as many others fail and it really upsets me when people feel they have to give up BFing when there are problems, as I know from first hand experience that it can be overcome. However it is always after they have stopped that they have mentioned it - too late to do anything about it (disclaimer - I know it is possible to restart the supply but I think that when people have mentally decided BFing is over then it's over)
I would love to see more common sense advice/support about mix-feeding, I felt very much the odd one out for wanting to try and continue BFing when we were FFing so much to start with. The support was either for BFing exclusively and the attitude that "formula is the work of the devil" or for FFing and an attitude of "well you tried but it was never going to work was it?"

Havent read the thread but want to say I agree re the "all or nothing" view of many people. I BF from birth, DS had formula once in hospital but I was determined that he would be BF (EBF from that one syringe of formula til we started food, and he still only has boob milk)
However I know a lot of people who gave formula early on because they weren't producing milk ( obviously, but some people just dont believe that baby doesnt need milk til the milk comes in). And they felt that once they started FF there was no point even trying to BF...

Still telling my nan 5 months in that I trust millions of years of mammalian evolution that DS is getting enough milk...

Obviously it is different for different people, but 3 of my mates introduced formula very early on in fear that they were not producing enough milk and they struggled with their supply since. If a mum wants to do mixed feeding, very often she also has to express at the time she FF so that the breasts "think" more milk is needed. Even if formula is given in mixed feeding, the milk still needs to be pumped form the breast so I'm not sure how it's easier.

Expressing isn't always necessary, RedHeels, but if formula is introduced because a mum is worried about her supply then she's likely to go to the formula as a first resort every time she thinks she has problems with supply, which will further diminish the supply and therefore create aforementioned slippery slope.

What needs to happen in this situation is proper support and information in ascertaining firstly whether there is a supply problem, and secondly whether it can be sorted by continuing to breastfeed, or whether there is a real need to top up. And if there is a need to top up, how to prevent this having too much of an impact.

But yes allsquareknickers has it I think, what the OP was getting at - once you move from the BF "support" (often from HCPs) to the FF support (from friends and family) there is no crossover. And there should be - HCPs should be trained in how to support women to keep breastfeeding alongside FF if they wish to do so.

I meant nomoremagnolia, sorry. The line about "The support was either for BFing exclusively and the attitude that "formula is the work of the devil" or for FFing and an attitude of "well you tried but it was never going to work was it?""

I have been interested in finding out that my Swedish friends and relatives seemed to know nothing about this all-or-nothing-if-you-give-one-bottle-your-supply-will-be-damaged. Yet Sweden is one of the countries in the world with the highest breastfeeding rates.

Otoh I have several English friends who gave up breastfeeding because they had one bad night and gave a bottle. They seemed to have got the impression from their HV that breastfeeding is a bit like your virginity: once you've lost it you can't get it back.

That's interesting cory. I like the virginity reference :) that's the kind of thing I was getting at- the impression that BF is very very fragile and requires 100% commitment for it to work. That hasn't been my experience at all.

I suspect part of the reason FF is discouraged is because giving a bottle is so easy. If you've had weeks of trying to BF and suddenly realise that you can FF with so much less hassle the temptation would probably be huge to just switch to FF, I know it was a bit like that for me, but I persevered because, as I've said, I'm stubborn

Bertie and Cory - Exactly! I like the virginity analogy :)