To Want To Kill This Cock.

[JemimaMuddleFuck]

Over the road have added a Cockerall to their menagerie. They're not farmers, think Tom and Barbara from the Good Life; but stinking rich; and no idea/sense.

4.15am every bloody morning since he arrived (last week) he starts crowing. It's not even Dawn. It's pitch bloody black.

Currently briefing lazy sodding cat who sleeps all day my killing machine.

That was me mentioning the Chinooks and we lived beneath their flight path to RAF Odiham. I would probably have been sectioned if I'd had to stay where we were hearing them day in day.

To do what they do naturally- keep the hens in order (they break up fights), warn of impending danger and point the best food out to the hens.

Aaargh, there's a joke there somewhere!

Duchesse I think the real reason must be so that your villagers all own cockerels to annoy each other so that no one is exempt from the horrendous cacophany that must begin at 4am every morning! Is there a warning sign in the local estate agent's office?

Native species. chickens are jungle fowl. My noisiest cockerel was a miniature wyandotte. My huge Ernest has a fine crow but hes not as annoying. Size of the bird won't have anything to do with it

Honestly just ask them to house him in a very dark house away from your property

This has considerably brightened my day!!

A stinking rich neighbour with a huge cock, what more could anyone ask for?!!

Would you like to borrow my spaniel?

I'm sure a cockerel isn't that much different to a pheasant, he's not fussy as long at it has feathers!

*A stinking rich neighbour with a huge cock, what more could anyone ask for?!!

I'll post it to you; just PM me your address.

A chicken coup - obviously following what is going on in North Africa has set them off!

No a spaniel will just lick it, if it's not dead.

Cat hasn't moved since I let her in at 6am this morning. Bastard.

When I first saw the title to this thread I thought it should have been on relationships!

I don't think my spaniel would just lick it!

The last feathered thing he saw became Sunday Lunch! (see pic on profile!)

So basically, you're whinging about your neighbours big cock? .

On a more serious note, your first port of call should be Environmental Health as the cockerel is a noise nuisance. At the very least, they can then have a chat to the neighbours about what is acceptable.

We have a very large, very opinionated Sussex cockerel (called Howard, but that's neither here or there) and he is kept a good 300m from our house. He still wakes us up at stupid-o'clock, but then we're farmers and it's not a big deal. Especially as the majority of the rest of the village have hens and cockerels too.

YADNBU and dont think the "stuff and nonsense thats how it is in the cuntry" comments are particularly helpful. These birds are bloodly loud and its antisocial to keep one and disturb your neighbours. Its different to moving next to a dairy farm (an obvious existing business that serves a purpose) and getting upset about that. Complain to Environmental Health definitely. I stayed at a family home in Cuba with my friend, an animal loving, vegetarian. After 3 4am wake up calls by the house cock even she was muttering obscenities about strangling the damn thing.

Did he just catch that fruitshoot or just retrieve when it was shot ?
My neighbour leaves me a brace of pheasant everytime he bags more than he needs and used to just leave them on the porch. Then Bastard Bloody useless cat dragged them off and plucked/disembowled them on the front lawn; so now he pops them in the shed.

And QuietTiger, My Neighbour's Big Fat Cock is irritating and harrassing me and I am whinging. I'll call environmental health, thankyou.

Sounds like this cock was just another random purchase and that they don't give much thought to the care etc required by these animals.

Hope you get it sorted out soon though.

I would however swap my city noise with that of a cockerel and farm animals! Police sirens, dawn raids on the druggy neighbours, joy riders etc are just starting to annoy me right now!!!!

faverolles - 'Google cockerel box'

Yes but not on your work computer

Also kerala 'cuntry' is a brilliant typo on this thread.

I thought this was going to be yet another thread with someone moaning about her DH never doing the washing-up :)

UQD

Is it an Orpington? Even the hens weigh about 5kg- they're massive. Bloody lovely birds too.

Why not just speak to them about it? For all you know they could have bought said cock by accident, thinking/having been told it was a hen and aren't sure what to do with it.

As for 'native breeds', there aren't any, as has been pointed out.

No duchesse. It's a big black cock, with a bit of red round it's bum.
Can't get a good shot look at it because of the trees.
I'll let you know how heavy it is when I wring it's bloody neck

I could rent you some foxes at a very reasonable rate.

They sought and obtained planning permission for a chicken coup

Is there any chance they are violating the terms of their PP ?
Should be able to get their PP off the council website ?

Oh Jemima, surely you're messing with us now