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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send a message?

21 replies

trulyscrumptious43 · 25/02/2011 22:13

I'm on the sofa with cough/achy limbs thing.
Send DS to ask DP if he wants to come and watch the DVD I got him for his (DPs) birthday, which we had discussed watching over dinner half an hour before and he was all for.
DP says, just watching something on youtube. Ok...
Send DS back in 15mins later to ask again. No result.
15 mins later I drag myself up off sofa and go and ask DP myself.
Apparently DP didn't like that I'd sent the messenger. " You don't send (child's name)"
AIBU to feel this is not nice?

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 25/02/2011 22:20

Well I suppose you could have sent him an e-mail to ask... or a text?

BeerTricksPotter · 25/02/2011 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheSkiingGardener · 25/02/2011 22:24

Did DS mind? Helping out Mum who is sick is a nice thing to do. DP is being a big odd if you ask me.

AgentZigzag · 25/02/2011 22:30

I send DD1 to ask DH stuff all the time.

The DC are staff aren't they?

Well, that's why we had them

The only reason I can think of that he'd get shitty about it is if he'd been sucked into the animal that is youtube and changed his mind about watching the dvd?

Poor you feeling crap though, is he being sympathetic otherwise?

What dvd is it?

Original poster

trulyscrumptious43 · 25/02/2011 23:10

The DVD is Hot Fuzz. We were all going to watch it together (DS is 13).
DP is not really being sympathetic to poorly me, I don't expect much though.
Actually he'd switched from youtube to facebook by the time I'd asked him.
He has issue with DS and I don't know what to do. My urge is to kick him out for being so negative about my child. His attitude is worsened by having necked a bottle of red on his own while this was going on.

OP posts:

Gleekfreak · 25/02/2011 23:13

Sounds like he's being a bit of a cock to me!

AgentZigzag · 25/02/2011 23:14

When you say 'my child' do you mean your DP isn't your DSs dad?

And you don't think their relationship is what it should be?

He must be pretty bad with him for you to consider kicking him out.

Original poster

trulyscrumptious43 · 25/02/2011 23:16

Oh sorry, no, DP is boyfriend, unrelated to my DCs. Should have said.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 25/02/2011 23:34

Is your DPs negative attitude towards your DS really what you should be posting about?

squeakytoy · 25/02/2011 23:35

I have the dog trained to take stuff to my husband :)

He can do phones, cigs, and even cans of beer if I put them in a little carrier bag first.

fedupofnamechanging · 25/02/2011 23:38

I think your 'D'P sounds horrible. I would not have any man in my house who was not good to my DC. Judging from your comments, I can't see what you are getting out of this 'relationship'. He doesn't seem to give a shit about you when you are ill and has a problem with your child.

abbierhodes · 25/02/2011 23:49

Fucking hell, get him out. Why on earth do some people allow partners into their lives to treat their kids like shit? This kind of thing really pisses me off. And you're whinging about a DVD and a cold? Perspective?

Original poster

trulyscrumptious43 · 25/02/2011 23:53

@Squeakytoy Yes good idea. We've been looking for dogs on the Battersea website today actually.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 25/02/2011 23:55

What is it that worries you about the way he treats your DS truly?

Original poster

trulyscrumptious43 · 25/02/2011 23:59

On the whole DP is good to the DCs, especially the big DD who goes out to work. But there's an undercurrent of resentment there, and I am thinking hard (and discussing)about how to deal with it. DP doesn't live with us full time, just visits a lot.

OP posts:

Original poster

trulyscrumptious43 · 26/02/2011 00:02

DS is quite difficult at times (on the spectrum as many are) and DP finds him hard to relate to. DP has kids of his own, a bit younger than mine, who live abroad, so his visits are not as frequent as he'd like. I'm sure he's like to be with them most of the time, and not my know-it-all cheeky lad.

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 26/02/2011 00:27

Yes, but he IS with your lad and he is the adult. It' is up to him to try to get on with the child.

And wtf, does he expect you to be at his beck and call, getting up to fetch him when you're not well?

sharon2609 · 26/02/2011 02:20

I went out with a guy once who copped the hump if my DD answered the door to him as he thought I should have done it! He didn't last long.

Stac2011 · 26/02/2011 02:33

my stepdad always acted like a twat to me and mum would brush it off as my hormones. By doing this resentment grew, in the end i couldnt stand him. I have a stepson and dp is my ds stepdad, we dont treat the boys differently and if i felt dp was off with my ds or me with his it would be curtains. Tbh he sounds like a stroppy kid

zest01 · 26/02/2011 20:43

He sounds like he has issues, yanbu.

I often get my kids to run little "errands" like going to ask DH if he wants a cup of tea, going to get a nappy for my youngest, or going to get a sibling down for lunch. Their legs are younger than mine, also they seem to quite like being "helpful" in this way. I would be asking him what the hell his problem is!!

outnumbered2to1 · 26/02/2011 21:04

as my dad used to say "why have a dog and bark yourself?"

My two DS's are always doing wee jobs for me. DS2 loves to stand at the bottom of the stairs and YELL up to his big brother that his "dinner is out NOWWWWW!!

Your DP sounds like a bit of knob. What problem does he have with your DS just out of nosiness?

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