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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to try and befriend my neighbour?

11 replies

nofrills · 25/02/2011 19:19

Bit of a lurker coming out of the woodwork here but need some advice.
I am a new mum to a 7 week old. Not many friends locally with babies, have made some good NCT buddies but I have noticed that the couple directly opposite (living rooms look directly onto each other from different sides of the street) have also recently had a baby. Often I will see her in the house with baby during the day and want to hold up a hello sign or wave baby in the window shouting 'Snap!'
Thing is, I'm not that confident and usually wait for others to make the first move so am unsure if I should or how I would go about befriending this woman (we might not get on at all but it would be nice to have a baby buddy right across the road.)
Bur if I knocked on the door or dropped a note through would I seem like a weirdo window watcher? We do live in the same street so don't want her to think I am a freaky stalker!! You know what londoners are like, no one ever even makes eye contact let alone extend the tentative hand of friendship so tell me, would I be unreasonable to try and introduce myself and if no, how to go about it?!!

OP posts:
atmywitssend · 25/02/2011 19:24

I would - you've nothing to lose. Why not just knock on the door when you're passing, intr0duce yourself and say that she's welcome to pop[ over to yours for a cuppa if she would like to?

RIZZ0 · 25/02/2011 19:24

I think it would be a lovely thing to do, and if she rubuffed you then it would be a reflection of her, not you.

I know what it's like to live in a street full of people in London and never speak to them - I did it for years until I had children, then suddenly neighbours with children in my new street introduced themselves to me and it was really nice.

You could ask if there is a playgroup nearby and if she wants to go, or if her child is oposite sex to yours and you've been given clothes more suited to the opposite sex offer them etc, lots of different ways to introduce yourself. Or just be honest and say look, I've just had a baby, so have you, I;m sure we have our own friends nearby but it's nice to have someone in the street to have a coffee with, would you like to come over?!

It gets easier I promise, mums do this all the time and it'll be second nature to you soon to strike up a convo with someone just because they have a child with them.

Good luck, tell us how it goes!

StataLover · 25/02/2011 19:24

I know my neighbours in London - mainly because they have children the same age. It's a great ice-breaker. Why not just knock on the door during the day and ask if she'd like to come over for a coffee and chat? Or if you're shy, pop a card through the door inviting them over. When we first moved in, our neighbours who were on holiday sent us a postcard welcoming us! I thought that was a lovely gesture.

RIZZ0 · 25/02/2011 19:25

rubuffed?? REBUFFED!! Smile

Grumpla · 25/02/2011 19:31

Bite the bullet and do it! Pop over, say you are thinking of going to the park / for a coffee later that afternoon and would she like to keep you company.

The worst that can happen is that she will say no and back away slowly. That's not too bad - you have plenty of other friends and you ARE a grownup - you can surely cope with a stranger being shy / not wanting to be mates?

On the other hand, a good thing that might happen is that you can be mutually supportive neighbours - you can borrow emergency baby wipes, keep each other company, feed each others cats etc. Best thing that could happen - you could end up becoming really good friends.

Good and best outcomes = well worth braving the worst!

TherapeuticVino · 25/02/2011 19:31

DO IT!!! I would have loved someone to befriend me like that. GL!

nofrills · 25/02/2011 19:31

It is so out of character for me but yes I think I will do it. Probably will go for the less scary option of dropping a card in but I am having NCT ladies round in the week so could invite her along. Thanks ladies, I feel reassured!

OP posts:
EauRouge · 25/02/2011 19:43

Yes, do it! I found the best way to make friends when DD was tiny was to just be really forward, I invited half the playgroup round to my house for coffee Grin She's in the same boat as you so she would probably really appreciate it.

redstripeyelephant · 25/02/2011 20:16

Oh you absolutely should!! Last winter we had only just moved here and I was stuck in the house with a toddler - it had been snowing for days. I knew the lady next door had a toddler even though we'd barely said hello- just smiled at each other in the street. I figured she was in the same boat so I knocked on the door and invited them over to play. A year later our daughters are best friends and we get together at least once a week!

BooyFuckingHoo · 25/02/2011 20:27

babies are the best excuse for breaking the ice/befriending neighbours. it was how i had my first conversation with my old neighbour. i knew she had just had a baby and said congratulations over the fence and we were friends til she moved away.

nailak · 25/02/2011 20:35

i would love someone to that for me!!!

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