Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish the EX would just f*ck off?

9 replies

Bogeyface · 24/02/2011 23:06

He never gets in touch from one access weekend to the next, even if he knows one of them isnt well etc. But he expects me to call him to arrange his pick ups, and tell him of anything. God forbid he should ever call me on his uber expensive contract mobile with 10 million free minutes, no I can spend a fortune per minute calling him.

Anyway...DD has a party this weekend that is important for 3 reasons. One, it is her bestest friend, two, she missed the other party this year as she was ill and three, the girls mum has only had one RSVP, from us, and is worried no one else is coming. So I let ex now about this as it is on his access weekend and told him how important it was.

Got a stroppy message that I should have checked with him first in case he had made arrangments to do anything before agreeing. But the last time I did that, he said that he didnt need to know in advance and to just let him know when he picked them up. I cant get it right!

He has also said that as they are at home during the day for half term, I should feed them their main meal. He has resented having to make them a cooked meal in the evening since they no longer have school dinners on a Friday (was costing me too much and he never offered to pay!). I said that I am not doing it as we are out shopping for various needed school items tomorrow and given that I need help getting around etc, it could take forever. I was planning on grabbing a sandwich while we are out. I could take them for a full meal but frankly it will cost a fortune and I dont see why I should. He usually manages to pass the buck to DD1 to cook anyway.

His attitude has gotten worse and worse over the last year and seems to forget that as a father he has certain responsibilities. He pays waaaaaay less than CSA rates for maintenance, which I agreed to as he was paying for other things. Now he isnt and is making more and more demands.

There are alot of other issues, including last minute cancelling of seeing them as he has had a better offer, but this is just what is pissing me off right now!

I wouldnt ever stop him seeing the kids but sometimes I do wish he would either grow up and actually be a father and not a selfish twat. Or fuck off.

OP posts:
Flojo1979 · 24/02/2011 23:51

Yanbu. I know exactly how u feel, sounds very similar to my story and sometimes u put the phone down n just wonna scream fk off!

mmsmum · 24/02/2011 23:54

YANBU just ignore, don't go chasing him and arranging stuff for him. Try to step back a little bit and see what happens

LittleMissHissyFit · 25/02/2011 00:00

Take him back to CSA. He can't have it both ways.

I find it really sad that you are that close to the edge money wise and being forced to look at what and how to feed your DDs and he is still dicking you about, and moaning. If he was at least fair with you, it wouldn't grate so much.

Are you working? Is there any more help you could apply for? If you are on certain benefits you can get school lunch paid for, could you be eligible for that?

LittleMissHissyFit · 25/02/2011 00:03

Oh yeah, and tell him to call you back! That's just selfish!

Could you look into one of those rolling contract thingys, some of them are as cheap as £8.50 a month and give you free minutes and free texts.

ledkr · 25/02/2011 00:05

tell me about it,my ex is the same,i think that at least means i have the right to cancel or change plans at anytime and i dont cancel anything for his erratic and short visits,and he pays sod all.He never argues tho cos i dont think hes that bothered Sad

Original poster
Bogeyface · 25/02/2011 00:18

Thanks, I was wondering if I was BU for while there!

I could afford to pay for school lunches but it comes to £10 for all of them for one day and I resent paying that much just to save him a job. I can do sandwiches for a week for them for not much more than that! And taking them all out for dinner is a treat that we again, could afford but why should I have to just because he doesnt want to cook for them?! He wouldnt offer to pay of course.

Its just another load of niggles really. He seems to think that as he pays some money every month and sees them twice a month that somehow he is father of the year. I care for them day in day out, attend the parents evenings that he can somehow never get to, buy all their clothes, pay for all their needs and extras, and I am selfish and unreasonable. Go figure.

OP posts:
ledkr · 25/02/2011 11:51

its the twatty pettiness of it all isnt it.You have to not allow it to annoy you if you can.I stopped the day he took his gf away for her 18th !!!!!!!! and didnt even send a card for our sons 16th Angry
I literally smashed a door and screamed like a banshee,after that it could get no worse.

Original poster
Bogeyface · 25/02/2011 12:18

Wow, ignoring his sons 16th for his GF 18th?

You win. That takes twattery to whole new level!

OP posts:
CleverHans · 25/02/2011 12:24

Agree with mmsmum. Theres a man who wants his cake buttered on all sides, who wants it paid for my someone else and then will bitch about the taste!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread