Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To charge my XP 50pence for a diet coke.

25 replies

bladderack · 24/02/2011 22:33

We have a daughter together but he hasn't paid support the last couple of months. Every time he comes round he raids my fridge, so I told him if he wanted a coke he had to pay for it.
I know it's mean, I know it's petty but I'm buggered if I'll support a man that won't support his own child - even if it's just to let him take a can of coke!

OP posts:

theredhen · 24/02/2011 22:37

YANBU - assuming it won't create a huge great row in front of your daughter.

YABU if it does, because there are some battles that are worth choosing.

I had an ex who didn't pay a penny for 7 yrs and I always made him a cup of tea. Now thinking I should have charged him a quid each time = £182.

moondog · 24/02/2011 22:48

Who are these people who can actually live and breathe and operate knowing they have created children they don't contribute towards? I don't get it, I really don't. Did you have any inkling they were useless fuckers when you shared a bed with them?

Original poster

bladderack · 24/02/2011 22:51

Yes,as a matter of fact,I did Moondog.

I actually foresaw that one day I would be charging the tosser 50p for a can of coke but went ahead and shagged him anyway

OP posts:

huddspur · 24/02/2011 22:52

I don't know, he should be contributing but it does seem petty on your part

moondog · 24/02/2011 22:55

But Bladder, how did it come to this and how did you agree to it? (Genuine question btw. I just csan't fathom it, really I can't.)

Zingylemontart · 24/02/2011 22:55

YABU - I'd charge him at least 80p.

Mists · 24/02/2011 22:56

I kicked exH into touch when DD was six months old and from then on didn't even let him in the door never mind let him raid the fridge.

For the whole four times he ever turned up to see her again

He shouldn't be treating your house or space or food as if it is his. I'd be a bit shocked if my best mate helped herself to a can let alone someone I didn't want in my life.

jonicomelately · 24/02/2011 22:57

Just tell him not to drink your coke.

And anyway, coke is crap and expensive. Drink water. It's healthier and cheaper.

Mists · 24/02/2011 22:58

Moondog in answer to your question there are some men who let their true colours show from the very day they put a ring on your finger and / or you become pregnant.

In cases of DV pregnancy is a very common trigger. Not saying that all twatishness = DV obviously.

moondog · 24/02/2011 23:01

Mists, really? Is that your experience?
Why fdo yu think this is so?

Original poster

bladderack · 24/02/2011 23:04

I like your thinking Zingy!

It's a really long story how it came to this moondog - I can't fathom it myself.

Another really strange thing he does (and this is probably TMI!) is always try to use my loo when he drops DD back home on a Sunday. He only lives 30 minutes drive away so why does he need to use my toilet? It's every damn time! I've started to believe it's like a dog trying to mark it's territory and have even told him that he cannot use my toilet any more.

OP posts:

Mists · 24/02/2011 23:06

Delusion and low-expectations / self-esteem so partly my fault. Married in haste. First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.

But I was lucky that I didn't have to repent at leisure because I was back at work, progressing in my career, living in the house I owned when I threw the fucker out.

Don't let him in OP. If you must then buy coke in a bottle and piss in it or something.

moondog · 24/02/2011 23:06

What, for a poo?
OMG.

When fdid it all go tits up?

ivykaty44 · 24/02/2011 23:07

you let him in the home?

Mine has to drive up and toot - he would try to cause conflict so the dc asked him to do the tooty tooty

moondog · 24/02/2011 23:07

Mists, are you saying you blame your 'low self esteem' for your choices?

NurseSunshine · 24/02/2011 23:13

Comes down to respect really doesn't it? It is respectful to ASK if you can have something that belongs to somebody else. Your comment about not wanting to support the man who can't be arsed to support his own child is very valid as well. So yeah, charge the fucker, but make sure he knows why. Don't think you're being unreasonablt or petty

NurseSunshine · 24/02/2011 23:14

Moondog, I can't speak for anyone else but yes, low self esteem had a HUGE part to play in most/all of the unhealthy choices I've made in my life.

moondog · 24/02/2011 23:16

So, are you saying you weren't in full control of the choices you made/make?

Mists · 24/02/2011 23:18

moondog I'm not too sure, I don't give it much head-space to be honest. Mistake, lesson learned, moved on.

And marrying exH was just one bad choice really in thirty years of living. I can't say that having DD was a bad one. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me and the impetus for me to kick myself into touch and provide her with a twat-free future.

I didn't give up my job, house or security so I'm happy with that. We're all allowed a blip I think.

The choices I had made in the past enabled me to get rid of him fairly quickly.

moondog · 24/02/2011 23:20

Ah well, sounds as if things are better for you.

Bloody hell though, who gives these pricks the time of day?

GKlimt · 24/02/2011 23:30

Sorry. YABNU. So petty.

WhereYouLeftIt · 25/02/2011 00:00

YABU to let him into your house at all. And yes, the whole using your loo/raiding your fridge does sound territorial. Re-establish the boundaries, don't let him over the threshold.

flumpmouse · 25/02/2011 08:24

Did he pay for it?

Hide the yum yums from him when he is expected around.

"Want a drink you say? lets see... I have tap water, and look... some ice!"

Grandmasterpudge · 25/02/2011 08:31

YANBU/YABU depends how it was handled infront of your DD i agree with your sentiment tho, its also rude to 'raid' someones fridge

CameronCook · 25/02/2011 08:50

YANBU and he is a cheeky fecker

Flip