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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wind contact down with SIL to the bare minimum

37 replies

puppette · 24/02/2011 22:23

We tried for 5 years to have a baby. I had two cycles of IVF and we had a beautiful baby girl in January. My SIL came to visit when she our baby was 10 days old - she walked in, said "awww she's cute - guess what, I'm pregnant again and we only did it once".

I just cannot get over what she said. I cannot see what is to be gained by making this statement. I feel so much anger towards her and don't want to do anything beyond the basic duty shit to keep the family happy. AIBU

OP posts:
OliveMalay · 25/02/2011 00:23

YANBU. She obviously has no idea what you went through and prefers to ignore it in favour of herself.

AlfalfaMum · 25/02/2011 00:31

I thought the same as hopper :o you should pity the poor girl!

I actually say stuff like that all the time, without realising I'm causing offence (until later..) and with no mallice - I'm just lacking a filter I think Blush ...is it possible she's similar?

fuzzywuzzy · 25/02/2011 00:50

But, do people really go round discussing how many times they had sex without being prompted?

I find that rather bizarre, 'congratulations lovely baby well done puppette, I'm pregnant too & only after one shag....' why why why would you need to add that bit?

If it maintains your sanity, keep your distance & remain utterly civil (she sounds a little mad to me to be honest).

Congratulations on your new baby, enjoy her. Forget your crazy SIL.

iscream · 25/02/2011 06:16

Congratulations on your new baby!
Well, looking on the positive side, perhaps it took her a while to get pregnant before, and that is why she said it? Perhaps she was not remembering it took you five years, and was just amazed she got pregnant immediately?

Do you think she'd say it on purpose to cause offensive?

Plumm · 25/02/2011 06:53

She might have been worried about conceiving after everything you've been through and said it with an air of relief

Or she's really insensitive, but you're going to have to learn to ignore her because you could be getting competitive baby comments for years to come.

Don't forget, she's only your SIL, you don't have to be friends with her - just be civil on family occassions.

Congratulations on your little girl!

onceamai · 25/02/2011 07:25

Congratulations. She's a cow. Mine's a cow too and I made lots of excuses for her in the first 10 years or so but after that I just accepted she was stamped cow just like Brighton rock and now have as little to do with her as possible. She can't really help it she's MIL's daughter.

If you were a cow too you could have said "good on you girl, don't suppose DH would want to do it much anyway" but non cows always think that sort of thing with hindsight.

diddl · 25/02/2011 08:32

TBH I wouldn´t want anything to do with her either.

She was there to see your newborn-telling you she was pregnant could have waited until another time.

Sorry, but I can´t be doing with people who make your good news all about them.

Congratulations, btw.

Adversecamber · 25/02/2011 08:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ninedragons · 25/02/2011 08:53

Congratulations on your baby!

You need an ally. My SIL is jaw-droppingly self-centred and full of herself and her (extremely minor) achievements. I have a running snide commentary going on in my head while she witters. I try not to drink around her in case some of it pops out of my mouth.

Luckily I don't see much of her, and enjoy sniggering about her excessive ego with my mother or my best mate (who has an equally ghastly SIL).

She won't have any time for you after Baby One-Shot arrives, anyway, I guarantee you.

melikalikimaka · 25/02/2011 08:58

YANBU, I think that one was pre-meditated! I agree, less contact with her in the future as she really winds you up. My SIL's do the same, hardly see them.

smokingnuns · 25/02/2011 10:18

How old is she, 12? No that would make her pg 'illegal'. Don't know if this is the type of thing she comes out with but fully understand you being very angry. Keep your distance, I should, and bear in mind she can come out with stuff like this - though try not to let it get to you too much, you don't want to spoil this lovely time - huge congrats btw Smile

I had someting similar when I had a MC and a colleague, both of us alone in the loo at the time, commented that she must be a super strong australian as she was still pg. She was doing her hair in the mirror at the time. Thankfully, I wasn't related to her.

otisdriftwood · 25/02/2011 11:37

I agree with diddl....why couldn't she have waited and let you and your DH have your moment

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