To be stressed out that I can't keep up with the housework since I have had DC4!

[CannotKeepUp]

I just cannot understand where the day goes! The other 3 DCs are school age but insist on trashing the house when they get home. Most of my day is spent playing/dealing with DC4 (7 mos) while they are school. I also try to fit in going to the gym 3/4 times a week (creche) as my weight is out of control. Have food shopping to do/go to bank etc. Then after school it's taken up with dinner/baths/homework etc and then I am knackered. This half term week has been a nightmare and the house looks like crap.

I just cannot keep up with the cleaning/washing and it is driving me insane!

I do the basics - wash up (no dishwasher at moment), quick hoover, wipe toilet/bathroom round with anti-bac wipe and put washing on but fuck knows when I am supposed to iron it (as the 6ft pile hidden in my wardrobe will attest!). Mopping the floors has gone from every other day to once a week, same with proper clean of bathroom. Am just keeping up with changing the sheets weekly (4 x beds + 1 cot) and DCs all have clean clothes everyday so not too bad. My days of baking bread and making fresh juices for the DCs are gone though.

I have actually given up going to baby group (which I enjoy) just so I can get stuff done! How sad is that? I am just so stressed by it all and it feels overwhelming. I coped OK with 3 DCs and working fulltime so I can't understand why I am finding it so hard with 4 and being a SAHM. DH does help but works long hours and never does things properly anyway.

Tell me the housework does not matter please!! Don't want my DCs childhood memories to consist of living in a messy house! How dirty can a house be to be acceptable?

OP, you're doing an amazing job. You're going beyond coping and I think you need to give yourself a pat on the back. Regularly.

Crikey what are you lot ironing. I prob have one hours worth a week
I only iron Cotton dresses/blouses. T shirts that look creased. Dh shirts
My dd Cotton pants my dresses or tops that look creased. That's all!!!
A good shake from a slow spin or in spring a good blow on the line and creases are gone, hang tops straight to hangers Never buy 100% Cotton bed linen. That luxury can wait till Dcs have left home.

I only do a proper clean once a week and I've only got one DC - I am a single parent and do work but still that level of cleanliness seems fine to me! I appreciate that having 4 kids must make the house a lot dirtier but once a week change of sheets etc is fine. and btw I only iron the bare minimum - work shirts etc

Oh poor you, I know how you feel, my youngest of five is 9 months (eldest 12), and I know things are probably going to get worse before they get better!! I can barely ever find the work surface in my utility, let alone any other surface in the house!

Someone once said to me that the floors aren't dirty unless both feet stick!! Although I have to admit I can never let my kitchen floor get quite that bad!! I have been trying to come to terms with it!! The worse thing is if you sort one pile out you just end up with more piles!! Set yourself small achievable goals each day, so maybe aim to sort out just one cupboard, or Hoover one floor a day, it can't all be done in a day!! I hate the mess but am learning slowly that it's almost impossible to deal with!! Hey your kids are fed and have clean clothes, your doing ok!!

My parents have also been down this week so i have had to sort out nine meals twice a day every day this week,( breakfast is a free for all!!) I'll be bloody glad when everybody goes back to school/home/work inluding dh, then me and my gorgeous babe can at least sit in the mess in peace!

Sounds like you're doing great tbh.

I have 3 dc's and have come to accept that my whole house is never going to be clean - there's always at least one room that's a tip regardless of how long I've spent cleaning. While I'm tidying one part of the house, the dc's are ripping apart another.

Recently, I have been getting the dd's (4&6) to make their own beds and tidy their toys away. I then give them wipes so do the surfaces themselves and they really enjoy it (even if its not always finished to my standards it makes life easier).

I think someone said earlier "good storage hides a multitude of sins" - they were right

Glad it's not just me then!! Doesn't help that DC4 likes to be held all the time. Honestly, the house is a pigsty - sounds like you manage loads more than me.

I'm going to read through this properly later and get some tips from you all!!

I would rather go without food than sacrifice my cleaner/housekeeper lady. She costs seven pounds an hour and sorts the house out twice a week. I found her when I went back to work after dts started school and it means I can have my cake and eat it. I appreciate as you are around with babe in the day it might interfere, but imagine coming back from your nice afternoon of socialising at baby group, to find the tidy fairy has visited in your absence.

You really are doing well with 4.I'm also a bit OCD and feel stressed if the house gets messy or I haven't cleaned and hate having anyone round if it isn't 'right'.

I think getting your children onside makes a big difference as you don't feel you are battling alone against a constant tide of mess.

Sit down and talk to your children as if they are school age they should be helping.

My older child (9) has accepted he needs to help and I give money for help which he likes! He will often negotiate the rate as he says this is good for his business skills.So today he had £1 for dusting all the downstairs rooms and hallway up and down and 20p for sorting and tidying some playroom toys.It feels so much nicer to do things together rather than me picking up after them.

I've told him he must help with putting stuff away once it has been in the dishwasher and he now does this without complaint (£1 a week pocket money for doing this daily).He has to make his bed daily and keep his room tidy.He has also started to enjoy cooking and likes to help with chopping fruit and veg.He gets to help with menu planning for the week and writing the shopping list which is an incentive to help with the cooking.
He will stuff wrappers down the sofa as well!and certainly isn't perfect but I've found nagging doesn't work but reward either verbal praise or money does.
My younger one (3)helps lay the table and 'helps' the older one.

I put the washing machine on timer so it finishes at breakfast time ready to go in the tumble drier or be hung out.Most things don't need ironing as long as this is done straight away.

I've also just bought a slow cooker to make the after school a bit less fraught.I want a roomba.

The daily bathroom/loo wipe is done while the younger one is in the bath in the evening.

My dh works long hours but he is great at the weekends and does the ironing on a Saturday while catching up on some TV and is responsible for the weekly bathroom deep clean and bed stripping/bedding washing.I'd speak to your dh also and allocate some jobs to him as if he doesn't see things around the house the way you do he might be better with specific tasks.

I work FT but having been at home on maternity recently it isn't easier as you feel you should be under control more but create mess by being in the house and also see things needing done.

I have 4Dcs. need to get the older ones doing a bit more. Let them rant and rave if they don't like it.
Don't stop the baby group, thats for you as well as baby.