Will try to keep this brief.
Had a housewarming party - friends & family invited. My Uncle (Mum's Brother) asked if he could bring along some other family members - his wife's brother, SIL and their kids as they are staying with my uncle and auntie. I kind of know them through various social functions, big party, no probs, so said yes.
Party in full swing. Everyone happy. Two of my friends are gay men - they are great friends but not together. One (let's call him Paddy) is in his 60's and (in his own words) "an outrageous queen" - very camp, overtly gay, flamboyant, wonderful man. My other gay friend (let's call him Phil) is in his early 40's, drop dead gorgeous, not in the closet at all, but also not obviously gay iyswim. I would go so far as to say he's actually quite blokey, to the point that people are often surprised when they realise he's gay
So Paddy has left the room, Phil still there. My auntie's family start making really homophobic jokes about Paddy. won't repeat them here, but very obvious and distasteful. (I wasn't in the room at the time) - i came back in, to hear Phil say to them that he doesn't appreciate their humour, and can they please stop it. They all laugh, and carry on regardless. I am about to say something, when Phil says again that he's not comfortable with the humour and will take it personally if they don't stop it.
one of them then says "Why - you're not an arse-bandit are you?" to which Phil replies "If you're asking if I'm gay, not that it's any of your business, but yes"
(Paddy had entered at this point) - they all start really going for it with the homophobic comments. Long story short: Paddy gets really upset and leaves before it gets too much. Phil gets really angry and leaves before he hits one of them. I try desperately to get my friends to stay, but to no avail.
So, I then asked my auntie's relatives to leave. I was very calm, and matter of fact, but I told them that they were not welcome in my house, that their actions had caused two of my very good friends to feel uncomfortable to the point of leaving, and that, as they were not even invited, that i didn't want them there any more. It all kicked off a bit and they accused me of having no sense of humour!! 
and it got a bit verbally heated, so my Uncle stepped in and said that HE and my auntie and cousins would also have to leave, as they were all together, and I said "fine - go then"
They booked taxis and I asked them to wait outside (party was still going on). My uncle said "Us too?" and I replied "No, you can wait inside if you like, but I'm not having them in my house" He then said "They are my guests, and I'm staying with them" and I said "Fine, they're not mine. Go outside then", and they all waited outside for about 20 minutes.
My Uncle has now given my what I can only describe as an ultimatum - if I don't apologise to both his brother in law and their family, AND to him, my auntie and cousins, then I will no longer be a welcome guest at their house.
(Massive family, lots of functions, will have an impact on our family and social life)
I am sticking by my guns and will not apologise to my auntie's family who can stick it. But I don't know whether or not to meet my uncle halfway and concede that maybe I shouldn't have kicked my uncle/auntie/cousins out as well, as they had nothing to do with the scene.
I know it's a WWYD - but WWYD????