AIBU to not care if someone phones our house after 9pm?

[hattyyellow]

Dh thinks to phone someone after 9pm is the height of rudeness and chunters away about it when they do.

I have several friends who have several small children each and also work some of the week. As in our house, they often don't sit down to eat until 8pmish. So if they need to call someone in the evening, it's probably going to be knocking 9pm. This doesn't bother me, it's not every night and after 9pm means I will have eaten/got stuff done etc.

After 10pm might bother me, but this rigid 9pm rule seems slightly ridiculous. In fact, call me a commoner but I'd never heard of this rule of telephone etiquette before I met DH.

AIBU?

Eden263, with your observation about significance of 9pm you've just reminded me of the 9 O'clock Horses. Has anyone else heard of them?

My grandmother always went to bed incredibly early (though I think things may have been different during the 1920s and 30s ) and my sis and I used to find that quite amusing. When we asked why, she told us she was scared of the 9 O'clock Horses - some sort of supernatural bogey her father used to threaten her with when she was little, if she didn't go to bed on time.

The 9pm thing might be British. My dh was brought up not to call between 2 and 4pm - siesta time :)

It is very true in our house that phone calls between 5 and 8 are either ignored or very short but as already said that is what answer machines are for!

This is the first I have heard of a 9pm rule, I know cold calls should not be after 9pm so to me a call after 9pm would be when we got cold calls a call I would want to take.

After 11pm and before 7.30 would make me think it was going to be bad news.

Na, YANBU. My best friend usually always calls me after 11pm.

I wouldn't phone most people after 10 (except my sister, I know she always keep late hours). But 9 seems really early. Although once I phoned someone (whom I didn't know very well) at about 9.15 and she gave me an earful about phoning "this late at night". I was quite taken aback, as I had never considered 9pm to be late....

Here, look! It's official phone etiquette!

No 9pm rule in my house, just got off the phone with an old friend of mine.

With work hours and children it's the only chance we get to chat.

I usually text to see if it's convenient. If I'm calling my brother it's not unknown for him to be on his way back from work at 8ish so I know if I get no response to a text that he's busy. My other brother works odd hours and so am never sure whether he's home or not.

I had 2 missed calls on my phone from after 11.30pm last night. No idea who from as missed call thing doesn't work on my shitty bt homehub internet phone. But I was off to bed by then so if it was important I'm sure they'll call back.

Yes, I was brought up with the phone etiquette thing too. I think the 'not after 9pm' bit goes back to the earlier days of TV when there was only BBC1, BBC2 and ITV, and the main news of the day was the BBC1 9 O'clock News, which most adults sat down to watch - and disturbing that was considered very bad form, unless there was an emergency

i have an irrational dislike of evening phone calls, tbh. i cant bear it if the watching of my favourite programme is hijacked by someone wanting a chat. i like to choose hoe to spend my eve, and i often only have 2 hours between dc going to bed and my own bedtime. an hour long chat makes my eve feel less restful overall and i wouldnt choose it, tbh, however good the friend.

ps the cut off for me is... no calls after ive settled down on the sofa for the night!

I prefer not to be on the phone after about 9.30, as for me this is quiet "winding down" time at the end of the day.

I think the 9pm thing is pretty universal - I grew up abroad and we had it! I'll call my mom up until 10ish but wouldn't ring anyone.

I once forgot that the time difference when they were living in canada and rung when it was about 3 am there - i think i almost gave my dad a heart attack! (terrible daughter - forgetting her own parents had moved to the other side of the world

I don't like telephone calls after 9pm, I always think it's going to be bad news.

Thanks all, interesting to see a range of opinions - but a lot coming down on the late evening phone calls being not a good idea. DH wil be delighted!

I still don't mind if someone calls after 9pm - but then again I generally just let it go to the answer machine!

It doesn't bother me ,I often phone a friend after 9

Just finished talking to my friend about tomorrows plans....
What is the problem?