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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask my parents to have DD...

19 replies

stripeysockskeneddy · 23/02/2011 21:21

I want to go to Vegas for my 30th birthday... Just for 3/4 nights and DH has said he'll take me. It's something we've talked about for five or six years, and now it's here!

Last year we had our first DC... A bit of a surprise but very very wanted, and she'll be 1 and a bit by my birthday. I've been told Vegas and babies doesn't really go so I was thinking of asking my parents to have her for a few days.

In all honesty it will probably involve my mum having to take a day (we'll go over the weekend) off of work.

We're going to a villa for 2 weeks, which we'll take her to, and going to visit family in Italy, which again we'll take her to.

AIBU to ask my parents? Is it really selfish and not the done thing now we have a child?

OP posts:

MamaVoo · 23/02/2011 21:24

It depends on whether your parents are happy to have her. If they are and if it's just for 3 or 4 nights then I don't see a problem.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 23/02/2011 21:24

Do it !

defineme · 23/02/2011 21:25

It entirely depends on you and your child.

Does she happily do overnights on her own with them?

Are you happy without her-I find 1 night I'm fine and by night 2 I want my babies! I also found a plane journey a bit of a scary thing away from mine the first time I did it.

Will your Mum enjoy it or find it a trial and will her work mind?

Lots of people do this, some people wouldn't dream of it.

Original poster

stripeysockskeneddy · 23/02/2011 21:26

I've never left her more than a few hours before... I suppose i'd have to have a bit of a trial...

OP posts:

LessNarkyPuffin · 23/02/2011 21:27

Vegas. Ick. Dust, gambling and Celine Dion.

Original poster

stripeysockskeneddy · 23/02/2011 21:29

Really? Ick? It looks so good??!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 23/02/2011 21:31

We had a great time in vegas last May for my sister's wedding. Was very different to what I had expected and we really enjoyed it. 8y DD loved it too.

Re. leaving the baby.

I think before you book you need a trial to see if you will be okay to leave her. Some people can, some find it harder. Neither is wrong.

Also, sounds like your parents have never had baby overnight too, so you need to try it out first to make sure they will cope. Baby will be fine.

See how it feels for one overnighter and then decide.

Hulababy · 23/02/2011 21:33

stripeysockskeneddy - there are parts of it that are seedy, but lots that isn't. It is very OTT, in your face, bold and brashy. But it is full of life and energy, lots to see, lots to do. We didn't go gambling and had an amazing week. I would go back again.

mrsunreasonable · 24/02/2011 19:43

We did this but for my DH's 30th not mine. We loved it hardly spent any time in casino's even though most people told us that was all that was there! Instead saw a few shows, went on some rollercoasters, went by helicopter to stay at a ranch overnight in Grand Canyon (AMAZING!)

When we went DS1 was 18 months we had left him overnight with GP before but this was 5 nights! I fretted about it terribly in run up and while waiting at airport but once there re-assured by once daily text msg I managed to enjoy myself before fretting on our return day that the plane would be delayed / we would miss it etc therefore delaying my reunion with precious son.

Everything was of course fine and after a few days I was back to wishing DS1 would give me a break!

Only you can tell wether this would be right for you. I personally wouldn't go that far away from my DS's (now got 2)until they are older as although I enjoyed the trip I feel it was a little overshadowed by the worrying about not being able to get home quickly.

Hope you make the right decision for you and if you do go you will have a fabulous time!

jenga079 · 24/02/2011 19:55

You're not being unreasonable to ask... but you have to be prepared for them to say yes or no.

I've already booked mum and dad for overnight babysitting six weeks after PFB is due. We probably won't actually stay away overnight, but my folks live about three hours drive away so it'll be easier for them to stay for the weekend. They were delighted to be asked and will probably bully us to go away more often!

My brother, on the other hand, has made it clear he will NEVER babysit AT ALL. This is fine. It's not his child; he has no responsibilities to it and he doesn't feel comfortable looking after a baby.

AS I say, you're not unreasonable to ask, but you may or may not like the answer!

MissyKLo · 24/02/2011 20:06

Get her used to being away first

In Vegas do the following
Book a cirque de soleil show - they are awesome
Visit the gun store and shoot guns - just ask a taxi driver to take you to the gun store, he will know

Book a helicopter ride to go over the grand canyon - book with a reputable company from the uk for good deal

Don't let timeshare bookers waste your precious hours with anything they they try to entice you with - not worth your time

Go see the bodies exhibition if it is still on - look for posters as I think it was at a hotel called pink flamingo but not sure

Stay 'central' - ie cedars palace, Paris, bellagio etc as even though there are shuttle buses between hotels they are designed to make you walk through the hotels and it is knackering!

Enjoy!

NotSoPukeyMummy · 24/02/2011 21:11

YANBU!

DH and I went away for 3 nights when DD was 18 months, left her with PILs. I cried like a baby on the flight (it was like a physical pain) but enjoyed it once we got there, felt refreshed and loved coming back to her.

She was fine. She caught a bit of a cold and was feeling a bit sorry for herself, but we brought her back a huge present which she loved. PILs enjoyed spending time with her too.

Underachieving · 24/02/2011 21:55

YANBU

Nothing unreasonable in asking. Demanding, insisting, or ordering them to would be totally off, but there's nothing wrong with plain, good mannered asking. If they say no they say no, but if you didn't ask and called it off they might be really sad about that y'know.

pranma · 24/02/2011 22:56

just ask them but dont be angry if they say no-at least try a one night sleepover first

NotSoPukeyMummy · 25/02/2011 07:44

It might be easier for your DD if your parents babysit her at your house, BTW. Then you don't have to cart all the kit to their house either.

PrincessScrumpy · 25/02/2011 08:05

Like you, we've always planned to go away for my 30th - we're planning New York for 4 days. However, it'll have to go on hold as when I'm 30 next year my twins will only be 7 months!

We left dd with my parents for one night for the 1st time at 13 months and I was very emotional - dh took me to a hotel in London and we saw a show. I didn't feel guilty as we do so much with dd but I just missed her soooo much. Other than that it was fine. I think for 4 days I'll want the twins to be about 2 - but that's more as my parents would have 3 kids to deal with and although they are fit and healthy - 4 days will be a bit of a shock for them! .

Have a lovely time!

sims2fan · 25/02/2011 08:33

Ok, I'm going to be controversial but no, I wouldn't leave a child that age for that amount of time. I wouldn't leave a baby who is not old enough to understand why you're not there and that you will come back. She will spend 4 days or so being sad that you're not there. Even if she is outwardly fine I still couldn't put a baby throuh that unless it was for something I had no choice about, like being in hospital for instance.

BikeRunSki · 25/02/2011 08:41

DM came and stayed in out house for 5 days with DS (2.2 then) when we went to New York for my 40th in November, although it was here idea (the NY and the babysitting). DM lives 250 miles away, so she and DS do nto spend loads of time together, but we did have a week end with her a couple of weeks before we went to NYC. I arranged some playdates with his friends for the time DM was here and he went to nursery a couple of days too, so that DS had some normality, and DM had a break!

I told DS what was happening a couple of day before we went and he was happy. When he left for the airport I kissed him good bye and said "see you on Thursday" and he waved vigourously saying "Bye Mummy, come play Gran Gran". Apparently he didn't miss us at all!

squeakytoy · 25/02/2011 08:43

If the child is used to spending time with her grandparents she will be fine.

Most grandparents would absolutely love to have their grandchild for a few days too and wouldnt mind being asked. I know we certainly dont mind.

As for Vegas itself.. it is amazing. We have been 3 times and I would go there every year if we could.

We dont gamble but there is still so much to see and do that it is never boring.

The buffets in the casinos are amazing, like nothing else we have ever seen in the world... and fantastic value for money. (Our favourites are Paris, Mandalay, and MGM).

The shows are excellent. We went to see Criss Angel with Cirque du Soleil.

Trips out that are worth doing are Grand Canyon, and Hoover Dam.

If you play the 1 cent slots, play them slowly and get free drinks (any drink you want..) in the casinos..

We usually stay at the top end of the strip, but last time stayed at the Orleans, which is just off the strip, but at $20 a night for a room with two kingsize beds in it, a sofa, and what you would class as a 5 star hotel in the UK, you cant fault it. And a free shuttle to the strip every few minutes too.

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