Do I tell friends parents? Terrified she is being 'groomed'

[MogadoredMemoo]

DD is 12 and this evening told me that her friend who is also 12 has been talking to a boy online. The boy says he is called Jack and is 16. DD's friend has told him she is 15 and she has set up false Facebook and MSN accounts to talk to him in secret. They met on a website called 'Habbo'

This is setting off huge alarm bells.

DD is begging me not to tell her friends parents because her friend will fall out with her, she is really upset about it.

I guess I already know I have no choice but to tell the parents but just need some confirmation I am doing the right thing because its going to cause problems for DD.

Bear in mind that if anything has repurcussions for your daughter in this and she may well never confide in you again.

I spoke to DD about it last night and explained to her why I had to speak to her friends mum. She understood and agreed it was the right thing to do. She even said she felt relieved afterwards, probably because she has been worrying about it for days. DD's name is not even going to be mentioned anyway. We have it all covered, and tbh, what choice did I have?

none - for wiw I'd have done the same - glad you were honest with your dd tho.

I think it´s a bit much to think she might be being "groomed".

However, the girl´s behaviour would worry me-pretending to be older ao that boys of that age would chat to her?

I think you were right to say something.

Defo tell them. Even if this lad is 16, if he gets into anything with a 12-year-old who says she is 15 he faces prosecution. Tell them to try not to bring your DD into it too much, and that she didn't want you to tell. Hopefully this will mean they can still be friends. I think it's great your DD can talk to you about this kind of stuff, BTW. And what's worse, your DD falling out with a pal or her friend being in potential danger?

mmsmum has a good point too though, and maybe you could warn the parents without being too specific so they at least keep an eye on her.

Habbo Hotel a "child friendly" site? er... I beg to differ. It's full of foul-mouthed teenagers exchanging lewd innuendos. At least they truly are mostly teens talking to their genuine friends IRL and NOT adults pretending to be teens, but wouldn't be right to paint Habbo in innocent terms. The users are very much in the transition stage to adulthood, which includes pushing the boundaries hard.

You did the right thing OP. Nothing to do with grooming, just protecting her from herself.

Just read your update OP, glad it went OK, it sounds like it's a good job you intervened.

I've heard from a computing teacher that most teenagers have 2 Facebook accounts ie one with their parents as "friends" and another one for real chat. Better safe than sorry.

Edinburghlass: yes, that's pretty much SOP.

Takes roughly 5 minutes to set up an account from scratch - my 6 year old sorted my mum out an account the other day.

You did the right thing, Memoo! I would want to know if this was happening with any of my ds's.
OMG, Edinburgh, I never thought of that! I am friends with ds1 on his FB account. Mind you, he does seem to spend all his time on it so don't know if he'd have time for another one.

It might not be a bad idea to get parents to check if she has given out her phone number too, if she has a mobile.

I'm glad to read that you did tell them and glad to hear your DD fully understands why and feels better for you're doing it. Nice parenting.

I think Th hobbo wbsit in its slf is a problm for 12 yr old. It is vry social, has a club, cinma, rstraunt intrfacs and I would avoid allowing any young prson making us of it....sorry for typos som lttrs sticking on lap top, so a bit jumbld. it a bit lik simms but mor sophisitcatd in socail and intractiv ways

IMHO its foddr to any groomr, th yopung boy may b gnuin but 12 yrold girl is putting hrslf and him at big risk through hr bhaviour.

you must tll, hop th parnts will not incriminat your dd if thy valu hr as a good frind to thir dd.

ok sorry you did tll lat post durr.