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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Girls with FB accounts

32 replies

begonyabampot · 23/02/2011 13:55

AIBU to be surprised to find that some friends and acquaintances allow their young daughters - ages range form 8yrs- 11 yrs to have their own open (no privacy settings) FB accounts. Their profile pics show exactly that they are just little girls. Anyone can access their accounts and see their photos (some were of 10 yr olds dressing up like pop stars and posing - they had taken and downloaded these images themselves),see what they are posting on their wall etc.

they aren't close friends and I don't know it they are always supervising the content and usage or just being naive about Fb and how it works and the dangers out there. AIBU to be surprised or is this more common than I thought. My good friend told me that many of her daughters friends (10yrs) have their own accounts.

OP posts:

worraliberty · 23/02/2011 13:58

Why just girls? What about boys?

The age for a FB account is 13 and even then security should be tightened by the parents so YANBU on that score.

Original poster

begonyabampot · 23/02/2011 14:00

because, it was only girls that were involved. I'm not discriminating.

OP posts:

serin · 23/02/2011 14:01

No YANBU.

Would have thought Club Penguin would be more appropriate for that age!

twinterror · 23/02/2011 14:25

I was surprised this week to find that tinkerbell website has a 'friend request' functionality - its for pre school children! Even with adult supervision, I can see that anonymous friend requesting on a childrens website has its potential dangers

mmsmum · 23/02/2011 14:48

Everyone loves Tinkerbell! I have friended Tink and I am 30 20 something

MissyMorrison87 · 23/02/2011 15:43

I don't think you are bin unreasonable if these profiles are completely public. However I know an 8 yr old who has access to her own private facebook account because facebook is stuffed full of really fun games she can play!

I feel that is a problem of facebook itself as these games although played by adults have all the glitz and glam aimed toward young children.

fifi25 · 23/02/2011 15:51

My 9 yr old kept asking to go on fb and saying her friends are on. I didnt really take much notice and said no your too young. I thought she was making it up about her friends. About 2 days later i got a friend request from her 10yr old friend. I obviously ignored it but when i looked at my wall my sister in law had wrote TWAT (private joke) on my wall so its a good job i didnt add her.

There are loads of reasons why kids shouldnt be on, theres the likes, the fake accounts and the links.

Theres no way my daughters getting an account.

Original poster

begonyabampot · 24/02/2011 18:30

It's just that I imagine these young girls with open accounts are exactly what paedos are surfing through facebook getting off on - just surprised the parents aren't more careful unless as I said, they totally supervise these accounts.

OP posts:

Snappedwife · 24/02/2011 18:41

My 13yo has a fb account. Only recently.

I have her as a friend but also know her password and she knows I can and will (and do) pop on and off her FB from time to time to check whats what.

I too am shocked at her friends pics and yes most of them seem to have open profiles too.

I was in on DDs fb the other day and was shocked to see the pics of her friends in bikinis etc posing. I was telling my DH and a friend and went to show them what I meant using my own FB account where I am not a friend with any of these girls - their whole profiles open for all to see. Holiday pics, pics taken in shop fitting rooms, seaside bikini pics and it went on and on.

Its awful - have told DD she is not allowed to upload anything without running it by me first. Her profile pic is not even her but one of our pets.

secretdcaddict · 24/02/2011 18:42

Facebook does have privacy settings and an idea is that if your child really want to have a faceook they could do it with pictures of lots of different pictures that show there hobbies and they could even use a fake nickname but 8 is a bit to young I think the youngest you could go for is 10

allypall · 24/02/2011 18:47

Surely you can have the same "don't talk to strangers" rule online as in rl? I've never added a 'friend' on fb that I didn't know well in rl.

"getting off on" a child's profile is surely not the issue - it's using the info on the profile to find them in rl.

As long as the kids don't put identifying information (where they go to school, where they'll be at the weekend) it's not going to be dangerous.

Thing is, that's exactly the kind of info a child will end up discussing with their friends on fb.

ashamedandconfused · 24/02/2011 18:54

OP, I could have written your OP!
Today I noticed one of my FB friends had her child, same age as mine, just 11, as a friend - looked him up and there are 13 - thats over 1/3 - of my DDs classmates also on his list, all age 10 or 11 - some of them were without privacy settings so I could see all their photos etc - don't these parents LISTEN to the warnings??

jeannie8 · 24/02/2011 18:59

Definately not!

ashamedandconfused · 24/02/2011 19:02

fifi almost picks up on another problem - people who DO have their young children on their friends to keep an eye on them, and still chatter away about their sex lives, gossipping about neighbours, swearing and other stuff i would not dream of saying within earshot of my sensible DD never mind all her assorted friends too

Maryz · 24/02/2011 19:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

begonyabampot · 24/02/2011 19:13

'the getting off on' is bad enough but with young children all the 'don't talk to strangers' warnings isn't really enough if some perv posing as a young girl decided to try and befriend them - especially if the parents aren't on top of it.

OP posts:

fifi25 · 24/02/2011 19:20

begonyabampot, i let my daughter have a moshi monsters memership for xmas, presuming it was safe. I had her log in and one particular person was posting her lots of notes asking her name and where she lived. It could of course be another child, but then again it might not be. How do you know.

BlackType · 24/02/2011 19:22

YABU utterly R. I am not letting my children have any online anythings at all. No, no, no, no, no. I don't do Facebook myself (I find the whole idea repulsive), and there's no way I would allow the DCs to do it until they're, um, old enough to leave home. Fortunately the majority of parents at their schools agree, which makes life much easier.

Deaddei · 24/02/2011 19:31

I have mentioned to head of year at dd's school that some of the yr 9 girls were simulating lesbian sex in their underwear in their Fb pics which I saw via dd's account.
I have seen pics of 10 year old girls doing similar things

Original poster

begonyabampot · 24/02/2011 19:42

fifi25 - i would never put my 9yr old in a position where anyone could contact them via the internet. whether it was a child's site or not. I'm assuming with these girls on FB that they only 'friend' real friends not unknown folk who have just contacted them via FB - i hope so anyway.

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 24/02/2011 19:45

For peados to surf the would need a name to surf for. You cannot just view profiles of youngesters.

I do feel that this FB stuff is taken a step too far, your child has more liklihood of meeting a peado on the street than on FB.

oxocube · 24/02/2011 19:47

I joined FB because my daughter (aged 12 at the time) begged to have a FB account because "all her friends had one". I agreed providing I could also set up a FB account and that she would accept me as her 'friend'. Predictable, after a couple of months the novelty wore off and she very rarely uses FB a year on. I, however, use it frequently

allypall · 24/02/2011 19:54

surely deaddei those pics are the parents problem - not the school. It shouldn't be a safety issue for them it's just morally dodgy for the children themselves...

Deaddei · 24/02/2011 19:59

Yes but I don't know the parents otherwise I would approach them myself.
The school have brought it up with the girls.

Original poster

begonyabampot · 24/02/2011 20:02

FabbyChic - I think paedos who use the internet would probably surprise us at how clever they are it finding young girls. They could easily type in a common name and then look for profile pics of young girls or they only have to find one to befriend who then gives them access to all their friends. I wouldn't put it past them.

OP posts:

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