Sick children at nursery

[Redsocks]

So my otherwise healthy, happy DC (4) is sick for the fifth time in a row since starting a new nursery 3 months ago. He manages to recover and is back for a week, then catches something else and is back at home for a week at least each time. I know I am a bit oversensitive when he is ill - he is prone to ridiculously high temperatures that worry me senseless.
I know children will catch things when they go to nursery, but is this normal? I just seem to get him settled back in and he's off again. This didn't seem to happen at his old nursery when we lived abroad. If a child seemed under par they would take their temp and send home instantly.
As a result of him passing things on we have had an awful family time of swine flu, pneumonia, strep etc....
Am I being overly suspicious that the nursery are not sending sick children home? Does yours? The reason I ask is that numerous times at pick up or drop off, there are DCs who are obviously not well - by which I don't just mean colds, but big hacking coughs, flushed red faces, ie. Looking genuinely ill. My friends DC was looking like death, flushed face, sunken red eyes, pouring nose, cough and clearly upset on pick up one day (he was staying for the next pm session)- I found out the next day that he had flu. If I noticed, why didn't they?
Am I being sleep deprived and oversensitive, or do you think I should speak with the nursery?

It is normal when starting nursery to pick up everything going as they build up their immune systems. But I am not a doctor and if you are concerned you should see yours with dc.

I'm a bit concerned that a child would be so ill yet the parents weren't called, if it were me I would want to know and be able to take him home, but it wasn't you child. Maybe tell your friend so she can have a word.

What I might have a word about it their hygiene, perhaps there is room for improvement there?

When my dd had flu in novmber she was absolutely fine at drop.off time at.nursery, and very ill by pick up time flu.comes.on very quickly.

Totally normal- two full years of bright green tunnels of snot perpetually making their way down dcs' faces, interspersed with the odd major vomiting incident, a good dose of hand,foot and mouth and a bit of chicken pox. When else are they going to catch them all? Better nursery than school...

Altinkum that is shocking!!!!
Yes, I suppose my concern is that they are not being vigilant enough. The teachers are lovely, though, and very busy, but this just seems basic care to me. Luckily I am at home at the moment, if I was a working mum just now, I'm not sure how on earth I would have not lost my job for having to take time off (even if shared with DH).

Absolutely normal. New children ( and staff members too) do tend to pick up everything going at first.
There is really nothing you can do about it. I work in a nursery and would not appreciate a new parent 'having a word about our hygiene' tbh.
We do know what we are doing. We always ring parents to send sick children home.But, sometimes the parents take hours to come and collect them. Or they know they are ill, dose them up with calpol and then don't answer the bloody phone.

New Nursery in a new country = new set of viruses to develop immunity to.

It will get better.

Yes, I appreciate some illnesses come on quickly - but from how he looked it was clear he should have been sent home. If not only because he was clearly struggling and unhappy on top of feeling poorly. I would hate for my DC to be allowed to stay like that.
Will it ever get better or is it constant through nursery school?

purepurple speaks the truth.

the number of times a parent has said to me "of course I will come and pick him/her up, but I'm 4 hours away..."
I know they are half an hour away, but what can I say, 'Liar; or something?

Also, some drop children off at nursery and dash off, then child remarks "I was sick this morning" etc.

Redsocks I think you may have hit the nail on the head-re: losing job. If there's no temperature and there's been no vomit for 72 hours, many parents would take the decision to send dc to nursery rather than stack up yet another (possibly unpaid) sick day, even if their heart tells them it would be nicer for dc and themselves to keep dc at home for an easygoing day of cuddles and tlc. That's the crisis of being a working parent with no family support around- the situation many of us are in.

Dd has gone off with a bit of a cough and back molars coming through in the past few weeks, and I've picked her up and seen lots of similarly red cheeked and snotty toddlers in the room. Who can tell where it started? A child who looks fit and well in every respect may well be the one carrying the virus and passing it on- e.g. chickenpox, which doesn't show for many days.

The nursery are great and would always call if dcs were really ill. It's clean as it can be but unless they were to disinfect every single toy every time it gets passed from one kid to the other, they're never going to stop germs spreading.

The first few years of a child's life are going to be plagued with illness, as everything that comes past them will have a go at their immune systems. We're also more likely to come down with things because of being tired and run down with the demands of the dcs. Nurseries can't do anything beyond the norm eg cleanliness, vigilance, to prevent this!

YABU
What makes you think that your child and other children are being treated any different? When your child is ill the nursery contact you to collect; I am sure they do the same for other children.
I sometimes feel like my DD (&PFB) is often singled out for being sent home cos she is often ill and I work in the same building so its easy for me to get there quickly (just walk down a set of stairs!) That doesn't mean that the ladies at the nursery are not contacting other parents, its just not as easy for them to get into nursery.

As a childminder I take as many precautions as possible to safeguard the kids in my setting.

There is a cough and there is a cough! (usually with other side effects).

I have sent kids home when they are too lethargic/unwell to participate in the daily activities, when I am unable to get their temp down naturally/with med etc. Caring for a sickly child takes extra care naturally and it is unfair on the other kids who also need me, plus the germs! A sick child belongs at home.

I know nurseries that do not comply with the 48 hour exclusion for D&V which horrifies me.

I have had children start with me due to their child being sick constantly at nursery, the change is remarkable the parents tell me. Yes, kids need to build up an immune system, but to be consistently sick is not fair to them, and very difficult for parents (who have bosses to answer to).

Purepurple - I would hope that as a professional nursery teacher/ assistant I would be able to discuss anything with you regarding my child, if I have a concern, without causing offense, new parent or not.
I hear what you are saying though, I was standing in the queue one time at drop off listening to a parent on the phone to their partner saying they had just dosed them up with calpol as they needed to make a meeting. Nice. The other parents loved that!
I knew we would get illnesses, just not at this frequency!

There are also many nurseries that have firm sick policies too, please don't get me wrong.

It's best to judge the situation as it happens.

Redsocks I suppose if it was your friend's dc you'd know if she'd been called or not, but it would be likely at dd's nursery that the parent would have been called and for all you know, could have been on their way to get child home.
Years ago, ds came down with flu at nursery having been absolutely as right as rain, not even so much as a snotty nose, in the morning. He was v poorly by the time I got there and it was awful, couldn't be there quickly enough even though I only worked next door! Now I do a long commute and couldn't be there for a good hour- it does worry me but what can anyone do about it?

Jennipenni I think I you sum up best how I feel.

GP said that completely normal for children to have permanent colds from Sept through March...

Try pre-school. My 2 1/2 year old hasn't had a day off since he started (1 day a week) but when he went 1 day a week to nursery he was ill alot.

Nurserys tend to be used by parents who work as they are open all year round. Hence possibly why parents send ill dc's.

Pre-school parents don't always work (obviously some do) as they are only open during term time.
Just a thought though and only based on my experience.

my ds has been constantly unwell since nov last year, has had 5 courses of antibiotics and has only been to pre school for 2 weeks in all that time (is meant to go every day) both times he went back lots of the other children were still clearly unwell and he caught yet another virus.

It does worry me especially as i always keep him off till he is completely over it (he has other health issues so have to be very careful), some people obviously send their children back too early. Iam sure though that they dont do it deliberately, for all i know they might work and really have no choice so i wouldnt want to judge as i dont know their circumstances so although its a pain i keep trying to tell myself that (hopefully) its strengthening his immune system.

When my own DC came down with flu at nursery, I was not called - I could see on pick up he was not well, so I know about illness coming on quickly. But I was told he had cried on and off all afternoon (very unlike him). His temp was 40 when I picked up. As for my friend's DC - she was not called at all, and he stayed there all afternoon.

We had the same when the DC started nursery.

On the positive side, it did mean that their immune systems were strengthened and they have hardly been off school ill.

Ariane5 - absolutely my feelings.

It is quite normal for children to be sick quite often when they're young, but for those of you struggling with DC who are more sick than not through the winter, may I suggest that you boost their Vitamin D intake in the winter months? I give mine Minadex (which contains vit D and iron amongst other things) when they've been ill and it seems to help them bounce back really quickly from minor illness.

This happened to me when my youngest Ds's (twins)started at Nursery, it would then spread to their older 2 brothers, so I'm pretty sure I spent nearly two years dealing with a constant cycle of D & V and colds!

HOWEVER
When they started school they were never off, in fact in Primary school they had a virtually 100% attendance record.In 3 years the only time one was off was for 2 days when he broke his arm.

You can't believe how much easier my return to work was as a result
Obviously they built up a good immune system! So there are some positives

redsocks, yes of course i would listen to any parent's concerns and try to reassure them. I would take on board any concerns and reassess what we do.
I actually think that you have very valid reasons to be annoyed with the nursery if your child had a temp of 40 and you were not called. That is scandalous. seems that not everyone is as professional as me [halo polished]
Sometimes it is hard to tell when a child is ill or contagious. Sometimes it's glaringly obvious, such as having a temp of 40.
Yesterday, a 2 year old was brought in by his nanny. He had a rash on his face which she hadn't noticed till they got out of the car. She asked us to have a look and we said that she should ntake him to the docs and get a medical opinion as we are not trained to diagnose.
A couple of hours later she brought him back and said the gp had diagnosed an allergic reaction and given him piriton. He seemed fine, till about 4.30 when he went very red and a bit lethargic. I took his temp and it was 37.6.
We settled him in the quiet corner with a story book and awaited his collection. No point ringing anyone as they would have been on their way.
Ten minutes later he was even more flushed so we did his temp again. It was 38.1. His mum arrived as we were doing his temp. We explained to her that because he had a temp he would be unable to come in the next day. She was fine about this.
It seeems that it was probably a virus despite what the gp said.
Most of our parent work, and some really don't like being called out of work, which I can understand, but nursery isn't the right place for poorly children.