To Think Designer/Branded Clothes For DC Are Treats and Not Everyday Things?

[midori1999]

DH and I rarely wear branded or designer clothes, so I feel the same should apply to the DC. My oldest is almost 15, so has his own sense of style now and likes certain things, which include Top Man jeans (very skinny, sprayed on looking ones!) and converse trainers. These things cost more than what I would usually buy, so he is aware the numbr of pairs he can have is llimited or should be bought with his own money or as Birthday/Christmas presents. DS is fine with this.

However, my friend recently commented that her DD has 7 pairs of Converse and they usually buy her branded clothes as her normal clothing, things like a North Face gilet which cost around £90, for example. This friend wears a lot of branded and designer clothes herself, as does her DH, which is fine for them and their decision. However, she made a point of implying that I was being unfair to my DS by not supplying him with oodles of branded clothing.

Am I odd? We had similar when I was growing up, although that was due to finances, our decisions are not. She did make me feel a bit mean, but I offered to treat DS to a new pair of converse as he had been extra helpful around the house recently and he said he didn't need any, he liked the ones he had!

Horses for courses, innit! Some people will spend extra on those things - I don't "get it" personally, but then I probably spend money on other things they wouldn't bother with. She probably can't "get" your (and my) point of view either - just tell her you're happy with your choices and leave it at that.

We can't afford alot of branded clothes but I do allow mine to choose,within reason,a few items that they 'need' or like on special occasion ie birthdays/christmas.

I was only ever allow dearer clothes a few times a year too as my parents couldn't afford a constant new wardrobe.I really respected and loved my more expensive items but equally loved my jumble sale and car boot finds.

I also don't like the whole 'labels = cool' culture.

What's wrong with mixing decent cheaper unlabelled bits with the odd expensive much coveted?

(ps.Converse can sometimes be cheaper on ebay)

My dcs were great fans of designer clothing during their teen years - both of them favouring brands like QuikSilver. However, since we only had one income, mine, we had an agreement that went along the lines of "you can have 1 of those designer sweatshirts or 4 of the anonymous cheapo versions". They were also encourage to self-finance their more expensive clothing habits.

I didn't feel a moment's guilt about not packing the dcs's wardrobe with unaffordable designer clothes. We didn't have an income great enough to afford everything we wanted and it was good for the dcs to learn how to prioritise their own spending. As it happens, they still like nice clothes but they are by no means slaves to designer fashion. Instead, they are careful shoppers who refuse to pay ridiculous sums for a label.

So no, YABU. Instead, you are much more likely to be bringing up someone who will be discerning about what they wear and careful about what they spend.

My attitude to this will be the same as my Mum's was - I have £x to spend on new shoes/trousers/whatever. If you want designer labels, you pay the difference. I think this encourages them to decide how much they really want something and I don't see the harm in it - I was in my late 20s before I could afford to buy the clothes I really wanted rather than what I could afford (and then of course I had a family so it was back to square one!) so the idea of kids running round in designer this and that really gets me going!

YANBU.

My DN refuses to wear anything that isn't of her chosen brands, and SIL panders to it completely, despite the fact that they can't really afford to keep supplying her with all this stuff.

It is ridiculous.

YANBU.

We had a few label things as teenagers (and money wasn't esp tight) - my DC are still quite small so this isn't really an issue yet, but even if I had infinite money I will not be funding multiple converse boots!

I think your friend is mad for wasting her money and not teaching her DD the value of money.

I do the same as Thingumy, my ds,15, gets to choose the good stuff for Christmas and birthdays, the rest of the year it's Primark. He can do what he likes with his own money,but has been taught the value of it and knows that a lot of the designer stuff is just a rip off.

YANBU

£90 for a gilet? Your friend is barking.

7 pairs of anything is ridiculous, mine have one pair of converse and are not allowed to wear them in the garden, it's a natural progression from the lelli kellies they were made to look after too.

Branded clothing is BS. The importance is quality- I'm happy to buy 'designer' if it's something that's going to last- that's how we were brought up.
For instance my mum got me a pair of DMs when I was 16. For me they were super expensive but 20 years on I can still wear them.
You mention North Face- it's good quality and like Docs can last decades if looked after. But that would be a one-off investment buy IMO.
If it's bad quality trendy brands you're talking about that's ridiculous.

I understand buying Converse (they're not ridiculously expensive and they're a specific look) but 7 pairs???? That's just absurd.

I think your friend ibu. Around here, or amongst DS1's friends, they "need" to wear designer gear or Top Man. Won't have Primark. I kind of understand that as I would only wear Levi jeans at his age, but he has to buy most of his clothes himself as we can't afford them and he only wants designer or I say that I will pay so much for an item and he makes up the rest.

Luckily, it seems for girls that Primark is perfectly acceptable.

How are they treats for the children? Are you seriously saying that the dc's should consider them treats?

I bloody hope not.

Well, I'm the other way round you see. Quality stuff should be what you wear on a daily basis. Fashion / occasional wear should be cheap & disposable.

My cousins kid at 7 years old would have chosen a branded track suit over toys, never bloody right if you ask me but nobody did.

I don't see branded kids clothes as treats I see them as totally unnecessary. OK when they are teenagers and can be told "there is x to spend on clothes what do you want to buy?" then they can choose 1 expensive piece or a few cheaper ones, but at primary school and before school it was cheap clothes.

My child was laughed at in year one by one precious,spoilt shit.

They had a non uniform day and had to wear trainers (instead of daps) and PE kit to a sports event,ds has never worn trainers before so I bought some cheap ones in a sport shop as I knew they'd never be worn again.

DS was bullied for the day by one child aged 5 for not wearing the 'right' trainers.

My poor old DD is hard done by too. Her clothes come from H+M or C&A, her classmates are all Dolce and Gabbanna, Versace and other labels.
Luckily she isn't that bothered, she desperately wanted a pair of converse all stars, I relented and we went to get some but because of her ridiculously skinny feet she couldn't have any. She'll live.

I have never heard of Converse.......we don't do designer stuff at all.

When we see people in quicksilver and other popular names [that i have heard of] we think they look like chavs.
Bet they would hate that. Why would you want to wear something that everybody has got? They look like little clones with no identity of their own.

I dont see the harm with the odd designer item. North Face do great winter jackets (gilets are slightly impractical but thats another theme), and i'd be happy to put my own children in them when the time comes. If i wear one for the warmth why shouldn't they? They are brilliantly lightweight for such warm jackets! The thing here is budget...we all shop at different stores, hence the variety available on the high street and online. I see no harm dressing in all designer if you can afford it, or all high st if that suits your budget. Some incomes mean people don't need to worry about the cost of clothing, others shop for better value items- classic designer items maybe matched with cheaper bits, and others restrict their clothing options due to lower funds.

The tragedy comes when we bully people for wearing the "wrong" things or criticise them for spending a lot...to each their own!

Kids can be cruel, fact. When I was 11 I swapped schools and had some wealthy classmates who had designer on tap for all the trendy labels at the time (Polo Ralph Lauren, Benetton, Tretorn, Roots etc) My mum did her best, similar to what lot of people have said already - we had a very occasional shopping spree (wisely, my mum waited for the sales) or she would sometimes find said labels in charity shops in nicer areas. She knew that peer pressure was huge and she tried to do what she could, but she also made it clear that there was a limit.

So yes Fabbychic, of course expensive label items are treats for some people.

I can still remember one girl sneering at me in front of everyone at a school trip because I'd worn the same branded sweatshirt twice in four days - she asked if I was "poor" as if I had an infectious disease. She was a rich girl and determined to humiliate me in front of everyone.

For me the phase of caring what my peers thought shifted by the time I was around 16, when I discovered a love of vintage, army surplus shops and the Smiths, and found friends who were the same as me.

Frankly I'm now very happy that I was raised without any sort of silver spoon - it's made me very appreciative of things in life, I know how to find good quality bargains, and I know how to mix and match a few expensive pieces with vintage/cheaper bits and still get lots of compliments on what I'm wearing.

My DS's who are both teens are pretty good about the branded stuff. We tend to buy trainers/converse via the discount sports shops or ebay. Now their feet aren't growing so quickly I don't mind spending a bit more on shoes that they'll get loads of wear out of.

Clothes - am glad neither is fussed by expensive brands. Went shopping with eldest the other week and he had some birthday money to spend. Decided he'd like to get some more hoodies - went in one shop and he looked at some hoodies that were £50 each - decided he couldn't spend that much on one thing and headed back to Top Man where he get 2 for £40 - one happy boy.

There was a phase when they both loved the surf brand t-shirts and we used to pick those up in TK Maxx for less than a tenner each. Now the coolest t-shirts in their peer groups come from Primark - bargain @ only £3 each

I hate seeing little kids all designered up the nine's but not allowed to 'Ger them clothes messy at that outfit cost me XXXXXX'.

Have just bought my son some Quicksilver stuff in their online sale. Didn't think of that as an expensive brand, they were only £15 or so each, hardly Prada prices. I think some people have a different idea of what designer clothes are to me.
I don't think they look at all chavvy and none of his friends have identical tops so I don't see what's clony about them.
I suspect we all have our own idea of what designer stuff is. Similarly I view Northface as a quality outdoor gear shop, not a designer shop.
When I think kids designer clothes I'm thinking the sort of stuff Posh Spice and madonna stick their kids in.

All depends what you can afford. If you have the money and are so inclined then I don't see why clothes made by X are fine but clothes made by Y are a treat.

'I offered to treat DS to a new pair of converse as he had been extra helpful around the house recently and he said he didn't need any, he liked the ones he had!'

The above speaks volumes, your attitude seems to have helped turn your DS into a sensible young man who appreciates what he has and isn't desperate to have something new/expensive just because he can. I think you should be proud of him and yourself.