to feel done in tonight

[ifeellove]

I'm just at my wits end with DS1's (age 3.5) behaviour. Mostly it is "laziness" and not listening/doing as asked over things like getting dressed and tidying up. Plus running off in the street. Until recently this had been mainly at home but I get the feeling that this is also happening at nursery.

He doesn't seem to deal with any attention - showing off round friends etc.

He started being silly on the way home tonight and this escalated into being rough with his friend. He's always been fairly hands on with DS2 (age 1.5) but not with other children.

Things came to a head when I popped upstairs to hear awful screams. I came down to him on top of DS2 wrapping the strap of a bag round his neck. I hate to think what could have happened if I'd been a few minutes later.

I still feel shook up and just sad that he is being like this. I'm really on top of praising the positive, he gets a lot of one to one time with me and I just don't know what to do next. I have been giving him time out for the rough behaviour and had been planning a star chart to get on top of the tidying up etc but this seems to be pissing in the wind a bit when faced with garroting!

Sorry for rambling I'm just feeling like crap

Why do you get the impression it's happening at nursery? Have the staff mentioned it to you?

How uch responsibility does he have? Is his day very structured?

Yes nursery have mentioned the not listening when I specifically asked them about that. I guess I need to make time to have a more general discussion about his behaviour at nursery and come up with a consistent response.

He's only 3 so limited responsibility - start getting dressed, getting coat on before we go out, putting toys away - the basics really. He's at nursery part of the week and whilst I'm not into a rigidly p.lanned day the rest of the time is fairly structured

Don't feel bad. All that behaviour sounds exhausting and it's always horrible to see siblings doing mean things to each other. DS1 was often socially really odd, attention seeking and often aggressive towards others but just seemed to pull out of it around 4ish on entry to a pre school. I'm not saying he's easy now but is definitely getting more helpful and aware of how his behaviour affects others. I raised my concerns about his social development with his very very experienced nursery staff (they're all grannies and had been working there for many years) and they just reckoned he'd take longer than others to settle down.

Thanks. He is lovely most of the time it's just been a long weekend of tiring behaviour. Hopefully nursery will have a few ideas to get us back on track