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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is too much homework for a 4.5yo who started full time 6 weeks ago?

54 replies

sickoftheholidays · 22/02/2011 11:12

4 weeks into the term we were told that from now on our DC's would be given a phonics book every day on their way out of the classroom, each day a different letter, and DC is expected to write half a page practising writing the letters. We were told this would take a few minutes, but have you ever seen a 4yo trying to write? in reality it takes about half an hour a day, and if I'm honest, after a full day at school, DD is physically and mentally knackered and doesnt want to know. To make it worse, if she doesnt do it, she doesnt get a stamp in her chart the next day, so we cant even opt out.
On Friday, we were given the phonics book, and it has a letter for every day of the holidays, and a couple of other pages too.
Am I being unreasonable to think that this is far too much homework for kids who have just started school, and frankly what the hell is the teacher doing in class all day that this work isnt being done at school?

OP posts:
lesley33 · 22/02/2011 12:30

Its 20 minutes! Sometimes I think Tiger Mother is right and we do demand far too little from our children.

swanriver · 22/02/2011 12:30

Hard work! They have been working hard at school, even if we don't consider it work. They have been listening, concentrating, doing little tasks. Why do they need to do more "work" when they get home. By all means little tasks at home like laying the table, helping, but why more school work?

swanriver · 22/02/2011 12:32

Why should the afternoon be ruined by that 20 minutes of hell? When your child can hardly hold a pencil? For those of us with children with less than successful fine motor skills.

lesley33 · 22/02/2011 12:35

I have always been clumsy with poor motor co-ordination. Children who struggle to hold a pencil need to practice this.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 22/02/2011 12:40

YANBU.

I disagree very strongly with homework for primary aged children. Very much hoping that DS' primary won't set any when he starts.

VinegarTits · 22/02/2011 12:43

YANBU my ds is the same age and doesnt get any homework, brings his reading book home and its up to me if i choose to read with him or not, its not compulsary

swanriver · 22/02/2011 12:52

They can practice at school then.

lesley33 · 22/02/2011 13:05

At school there is 1 teacher and 1 TA for a class of children. Children don't get the individual attention that you can provide at home. 20 minutes listening to your child read, practicising letters with your 1-1 encouragement or practising holding a pencil with your 1-1 help is something the school can't provide.

Onetoomanycornettos · 22/02/2011 13:49

My children are in after-school club a few days a week. On those nights we don't get in til 6.20, and then have to have tea and a bath, so just over an hour for everything before bed. Very little time for practicing handwriting and absolutely not the right time to do it. I always do reading, but that takes 20 min anyway! Surely there's not time to do both every single night!

Can't understand how schools have my children for 6 hours and 40 minutes a day, yet can't do say three lots of reading and writing practice in a week. To be honest, hearing how impossible it is for teachers to do one to one (like my teacher used to do with us individually, setting work for the others too) makes me want to home-school.

It also means that the illiteracy rates will never ever get better, if semi-literate parents who are the most disadvantaged, either can't or won't do this with their children. The teaching should have 'every child a reader' with or without needing parents to do extra every night.

Our school does a letter every few days for reception children, preferably with a weekend in between, I think this is fairer all round.

Onetoomanycornettos · 22/02/2011 13:54

It's also worth pointing out (even if it is boring) that many many children have poor pencil control at this point not due to lack of practice, but due to just not being there developmentally. For them, 'just tracing a few letters' is probably like a torture each evening. I agree that practice makes perfect, but at the right developmental stage, and when there is the space and time for learning. God, I only get one hour or so a day with my still very small children in the evenings and it's taken up with half an hour of teaching them to read/write which I kind of thought I had paid for in my taxes and isn't actually my skill in life!

squeakytoy · 22/02/2011 13:58

We didnt have homework in the 70's when I was at primary. My mum made me do writing anyway. I could read and write at 4 years old.

I dont think its unreasonable to spend half an hour a day with your child to help them with their alphabet.

Young children quickly forget, so doing half an hou of writing practice each day in the holidays is really no big deal.

Elk · 22/02/2011 14:13

YANBU, my dd's school which according to local gossip has a very good academic reputation has the theory that reception is for learning to read and that year 1 is for learning to write. By year 3 the majority of the children have absolutely amazing handwriting. In reception the only homework is reading for those who are ready for it.
I have 2 dd's one in yr 3 and one in reception and IME many children are just not ready to write in reception and would be better off playing in the sand, with playdoh, threading buttons and colouring.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/02/2011 16:19

I think Cornetto is right. Relying on all parents to be consistent in homework implementation downplays social and educational disadvantage and results in an uneven playing field at school. Some parents aren't lazy - they just find this very hard and intimidating.

sarahtigh · 22/02/2011 16:38

no child should have homework for holidays at any age except revising for GCSE/ standard grades or A-levels/highers

personally don't agree with any homework for primaries except some reading, in any case the children that are good at it often have motivated parents and many of the struggling children have parents that can't or won't help so the gaps get bigger if not done at school but I think the main difference in schools from 1970's is discipline I just hear of too many teachers spending too much time babysitting/ crowd control you can not teach in chaos where no-one obeys the rules there must be proper consequences for disobedience

MollieO · 22/02/2011 23:34

Cornetto your evening sounds similar to ours. I reckon the most I have is an hour from getting in to getting ds to bed. Not much time to do homework. I think homework is only set to show the parents what their dcs are doing at school. None of the homework ds has been set frankly matters if it gets done (in terms of learning) although he does get kept in at break if it isn't done.

MmeLindt · 22/02/2011 23:39

My DS is 6yo and does not have that much homework.

He has once a week homework, takes about 30 - 45 mins, which he can do at one time or over a couple of days.

DD was the same. She is now almost 9yo and is reading and writing in three languages.

I don't think that more homework would have made any difference, aside from making the frustrated and resentful towards school.

bringinghomethebacon · 22/02/2011 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

woodleydoodle · 23/02/2011 01:16

lesley33 - how do you know, aged 4, that all your peers could read fluently?

coccyx · 23/02/2011 05:35

Don't see the problem with it. Hardly hours and hours of toil.

GotArt · 23/02/2011 05:50

I think 20-30 minutes is a bit much after spending 5 hours in school for primary. If the teacher is expecting it and thinks it should only take 10 minutes, try doing it in the morning, right after breakfast. That's the best time for learning. Granted... if you have 10 minutes in the morning.

ben5 · 23/02/2011 06:13

ds1 had homework in year reception( uk school) he had a reading book every night.
we moved to australia june 09 and he entered pre primary. he had no homework for the next 6 months. he started homework in year1. a reading book and some spelling. the teacher wanted you to spend 10 minutes on each. if you didn't finsh the task she wasn't upset and the child was rewarded.
ds2 has been australian educated through kindy( 2 days a week) and is now in pre primary(reception). he has a libary book once a week that we are expected to read to him.
by year 2 the children are able to read and write!

ceres · 23/02/2011 06:50

'In Ireland they still come out of school at 12.30 at that age. They still learn to read and write in Ireland'

i have not heard of primary aged children finishing at 12.30. junior and senior infants finish at 2, from then on primary school children finish at 3pm.

there can be variations in times, but start times vary from 8.50am - 9.30am so the length of the school day is the same.

ime irish children get more homework than children in england (don't know about the rest of the uk).

i have never heard an irish parent complain about their child being given homework - i'm sure there probably are some, but i certainly haven't come accross negativity towards homework in ireland.

Mercedes519 · 23/02/2011 07:14

I would suggest that all the posters who say it's fine should come round and try to get my DS to concentrate for 10 minutes after school let alone 30! If he was 4 days younger he'd be in nursery and no one would expect him to do any of this.

OP I feel your pain as DS is still knackered when he gets home and he has been going since September. I would say YANBU about the day to day but less so about the holidays.

My solution has been to do reading and words and a small amount of writing in the morning before school when he's fresh. The reading and words are from the school, the writing is off my own bat because his fine motor skills need work but we only do 5 minutes. However in the holidays we've been doing a bit more but it's very little in the context of a whole day at home.

Although it works it our house because the little bleeder darling gets up so bloody early!

yankeelover · 23/02/2011 07:31

Yes I would say it's a bit much. My DD is 4.5 and she has reading everyday plus they used to give her one phonic to learn per week. My DD has no homework for this half term apart from reading.

Also it depends on the child. My dd loves doing homework and could quite happly do it everydayConfused but my ds on the other hand, I had problems getting him to do his homework at that age and still do now

If she is not coping then I would have a word with her teachers :)

blackeyedsusan · 23/02/2011 09:31

Don't 4 year olds hve really BIG writing? Grin

Tell the teacher that you will be teaching letter formtion through a multi sensory approach.

(easier to do anywhere.)
Write the letter on his back with your finger. ask him to write it on your back)

write it in the bubbles in the bath

write it in the air/ on the floor with big arm movements

write it with different coloured crayons

write it with scented pens

write it in a sand tray/ in flour/sugar/rice in a baking tray

absolutely anything but writing it in a book evry sodding night.

(from an (ex)early years teacher with a dd who has difficulty with handwriting)