To want DC2 after severe SPD with DC1?

[Halfbaked]

I have a beautiful almost 6 month old DD. At about 19 wks into my pregnancy I started to get the symptoms of SPD. By 28 weeks when I finally got my physio appointment. I could only shuffle about and was in a huge amount of pain. I was signed off work, given a belt and told to rest and come back if it got worse.

It did 2 weeks later I got crutches and we hired a wheelchair as I could only manage short distances on my crutches. I spent the last 3 months of my pregnancy pretty much bed bound in a lot of pain and was quite depressed.

By the end I could only use the wheelchair, had to lifted etc. My DH was brilliant and thankfully as on school holidays (teacher) was able to care for me full time in the last 6 weeks. I wasn't the best patient and it was stressful for him too.

I had an easy birth, no complications, and was able to walk unaided straight after the birth. It took 8 weeks and weekly physio to feel "normal". I still get twinges and have to be careful not to walk for hours, push heavy trolleys etc.. But I am still breastfeeding which I'm told could play a part in it.

My sister recently posted a link to an article in the guardian about a woman permanently disabled by SPD. My DH read it and said I have to face up to the possibility of not having anymore children.
I think the risk is small, but I am now really upset at
the thought of no more children.
I accept I may have to wait longer, as had wanted two close in age. Would you risk it? Has anyone experienced the same?

YANBU at all. I had spd with dd1 and was on crutches and then had to use a wheelchair i was in absolute agony and was told it could return if i got pg again, which it did but not as severly as the first time.

I was still in pain towards the end especially if i walked too far or overdid it but it was nothing compared to the agony i went through with dd1.

I had physio earlier with 2nd and 3rd pg and wore a maternity support belt provided by the hosp. I did have to on occasion use crutches but it really wasnt too bad.

If you really would like another then go for it but try to get an early referral for physio if you can.

all the best

YOu need a medical opinion I think but in your place I would want to go for it too. With early physio and a support belt it may not be as bad. It may help if you use a bike to go everywhere and walk as little as possible. I cycled through my third pregnancy and it really helped my ligaments. I think the position on the bike is really supportive of your pelvis. I know the only time mine were really bad was when my bike was nicked and I had to walk for a week!

Unfortunately this is an area where nobody elses experiences will help you. Everybody is different and every pregnancy is different and only you and your dh can make this decision.

Lots of people have SPD and once their hormones settle down after having a baby. I do know several people who have had mild SPD with no future problems at all but I also know three people who had severe SPD.

The first had it for each of her four pregnancies which got worse with each one but her body went back to normal each time and several years later she is absolutely fine.

The other two are permanently disabled by SPD, one is in a wheelchair after her first child. She really cannot cope as she is a single parent and has had to foster her child out but has regular contact.

The other was on crutches towards the end of her first pregnancy but her body went back to normal afterwards. Her second pregnancy, she was on crutches fairly early on and needed a wheelchair at the end and still needs it although can manage on crutches for getting around the house, etc.

Sorry to be so bleak. This is such a difficult decision for you but there really is no way of knowing how you will be affected. My second friend was told by the hospital that she wasn't necessarily at any more risk than anyone else with her second pregnancy and they couldn't predict an outcome.

I would suggest concentrating on the fact that your body recovered after your first DC. So it is capable of possibly doing that again with a second DC.

However a word of caution. It is MUCH harder coping with SPD when pg when you already have a small baby/toddler to look after as well. It is not the same as the first time round at all. You can't just take yourself off to rest when you need to and you may struggle to look after your DC1 in terms of bending, lifting etc, just doing everyday things. Ideally you will need loads of support from family and friends.

It is quite likely that you will get SPD again in a second pg probably much earlier on, because you are already 'wired' to get it IYSWIM. It is a myth that SPD is all due to 'hormones', if it were then EVERY pg woman would get it, although the changes in your hormones do play a part.

It is of course a totally personal decision for you and your DH and no-one else can tell you what you should do; only you know how you felt during your first pg, but it sounds like it was as severe as you can get and you really suffered - if it were the same again how would you manage looking after DC1 as well?

I'm not sure waiting longer would make that much difference in whether you get SPD again, but obviously gives your body longer to recover from your first pg.

I too had severe SPD with DC1 and went onto have DC2, becoming pg 18mths later but my age was a factor in getting pg again so soon (I was approaching 40). My desire to have a second DC was so overwhelming I felt it was worth the 'risk'. However I started to suffer with SPD more or less straight away and it was a very very difficult time.

I found that the NHS knows very little about this very debilitating condition. If you're determined to go ahead I would strongly suggest getting an appointment with an osteopath straightaway and to get them to help you before, during and after your pg. I really wish I had done that. Unfortunately the nhs physios will only offer crutches and a support belt without really trying to rectify the problems in your pelvis, which a good osteopath can do, even when you are pg. But you will need to find out if they specialise in pelvic instability first, as not all do. I have some good contacts if you would like to pm me.

If I had my time again, I would have got help from a specialist osteopath all the way through. It is only now when I am still disabled from this condition that I am beginning to find the right kind of help,and after a lot of research. I don't want to scare you about how I am now, because everyone is different. But I now have two wonderful children and a very very supportive DH, but it's not without a lot of stress and strain for both of us still.

Hope this helps you a bit. If you've got any specific questions please ask and I will try and help. Good luck.

I had mild SPD with DC1, then got pregnant with DC2 12 months later and ended up on crutches - not bed bound, I found that inactivity made it worse. Activity made it worse too. It was horrible.

Then a 3 1/2 year gap, and with DC3 it had become pelvic girdle pain, but was not nearly as bad - in between I had done a lot of core strength exercises etc.

Still get the pains now when on period, but nothing like as bad.

I think, with a slight gap and some preparation, you will probably be OK.

Thanks for the replies.
As I thought, there doesn't seem to be any definite answer. Although the article I read was the first I had heard that it could cause more permanent disability. It seems that others have experienced this too. I guess I wanted more stories like ariane5 to persuade my DH!

myhipshurt I agree the NHS seemed to give very little support and I will definately investigate osteopaths. We will hopefully have more support from family next time as we are moving to be closer. I do worry how I would cope with DD toddling around if I can't keep up with her!

I think I will need to try everything I can to be prepared if we do go for another one and hope that it will be enough.

I think I'd be getting a medical opinion and weighing up your statistical risk against the benefit of another child.

In reality I think you'd be extremely unlucky to be permenantly disabled but you may always wonder if you dont have another child.

Depending what the doctors say, I'd be incllined to go for just one more and cross fingers and hope for the best!

If you really want another dc and don't have one then you may preserve your physical health but at the cost of a lot of strain on your mental health. That is definately something for dh to way up as well.
Regarding keeping up with toddler - you could get a playpen. I know they are out of fashion atm but you can still get them and it could keep be very handy for this situation. Most children are very happy in a playpen as long as they are used to it, can see parents and have plenty of interesting toys.