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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Give your mum a big hug

45 replies

flickor · 20/02/2011 23:31

To ask you all to give your Mums an extra hug - just lost mine to cancer last night and it hurts like hell.

OP posts:

Bucharest · 21/02/2011 09:17

So sorry.xx

JamieLeeCurtis · 21/02/2011 09:18

Oh that's terrible.

melikalikimaka · 21/02/2011 09:21

So sorry to hear your sad news, it's devastating isn't it.

I stood in a shop last week crying because I was reading the Mothers Day cards, I felt so silly. But I went ahead and bought one for my mom and one for my MIL. They died within 1 year of each other, last year. I still cry about them.

I always tell friends to 'look after your mom' because they don't realise they could be gone tomorrow. In my head, Mom is always there, can't believe I can't pick up the phone and speak to her.

kitty4paws · 21/02/2011 09:24

so sorry :(

I lst my mum 3 years ago and you are right hug them while there are here :(

ben5 · 21/02/2011 09:25

a hug to you and in honour of your mum i'll send my mum a hug later( shes in england i'm in oz)

thumbwitch · 21/02/2011 09:29

flickor - know how you feel - lost mine 3 1/2 y ago to the same disease. Tis awful - have a (((hug))) yourself.

AintMissBeehiving · 21/02/2011 09:33

So sorry flickor. Lost my mum 3 years ago and glad that I hugged her a lot while she was here.

Lollypolly · 21/02/2011 09:33

OMG, so sorry. This has to be one of the worst things anyone has to go through.

Lost my mum to cancer nearly 12 years ago now. Everyone will have lots of advice but there's no formula to getting through, take it easy and be kind to yourself.

She'll always be with you. I see my mum in my kids' faces and we often talk about her, although she died before I was married and had DCs.

Original poster

flickor · 22/02/2011 12:32

Thanks guys - I have good support from my DP and friends. All your comments do help.
My little baby helps no end as she makes me laugh.
I know this will be the hardest week.

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 22/02/2011 12:47

It will be very hard this week but the week after the funeral will be harder IME, flickor. When you are ready, go over to the BEreavements threads - there are lots of fantastically supportive people over there (as well as here) who have mostly been through similar and can help you with the stages you will go through, including taking in the enormity of your loss.

And people (self included) will unintentionally say completely crap trite things by accident, in a well-meaning fashion, which will get right on your tits - that's ok too. Vent away about it. Just don't go anywhere near AIBU.

Servalan · 22/02/2011 13:06

I'm so sorry for your loss - sending much love your way

BeerTricksPotter · 22/02/2011 13:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ratspeaker · 22/02/2011 13:10

A big hug to you

I know exactly how you feel

OliveMalay · 22/02/2011 13:11

I am so sorry :(

Original poster

flickor · 23/02/2011 15:55

thank you again for your messages

OP posts:

pranma · 23/02/2011 17:54

I am so sorry for your loss-my Mum died in 1993 and I still miss her every day

throckenholt · 23/02/2011 17:57

my sympathy. I have a feeling we are starting out on the road you have just been down - and already it is tough.

Be kind to yourself.

RunAwayWife · 23/02/2011 17:57

Sorry for your loss

Rabat · 23/02/2011 18:04

I'm so sorry :(

I wish my mum was still around so that I could (Cancer, too).

redstripeyelephant · 23/02/2011 18:10

so sorry to hear that, I lost my mum to cancer 11 years ago and still think of her every day. Agree with what others have said - in time you will remember the happy times and these will come to replace the horrible memories of her final days/weeks/months.

She will always be with you - I think of my mum more and more these days when I find myself saying the same things to my DC as she said to me 20-odd years ago, and it always makes me smile. When you miss her buy a bunch of her favourite flowers/her favourite chocolates/ spray her perfume or go somewhere that she loved.

Good luck getting through the next few weeks xx

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