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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Argh, relatives!! AIBU to be sick of them trying to interfere with their out of date, nonsense advice?

19 replies

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 20/02/2011 23:01

First of all - food. Having been nagged to wean DS since he was about 10 mins old by EVERYONE, told to put sugar on his dummy etc, my nan told me off today for giving him some bread cause it was "hard and he might choke!"

Sleep/ Carrying around - He was overdue a nap so was crying and she tried to take him off me to walk him round the room and when I said he was okay she then tried to stuff cuddly toys in his face! (am so glad he then fell asleep so I was proved right!! :)) Following many many months of "dont carry him round, you'll spoil him"

Travel - "you cant take him out in this weather" (vest, clothes, cardigan, gloves, coat, hat, 2 blankets), followed shortly by "we used to walk miles when you were a baby in the pram, even in the snow"

Milk - yep, yet again, "is he hungry" (me - no he just ate) "ahh, but if he had a bottle you'd know how much he had".

Standing up - DS hates to sit on your lap if you hold him, he likes to stand up. But this will make him "bandy" and results in family members trying to sit him down and making him scream!

Then theres the contradicting advice: put him in his own room/keep him in your room, walk him around/leave him to cry, put cream on his cradlecap/leave it alone, take him out/keep him in, on everything you can think of!

Its not just my nan btw, my whole family are like it (I'm picking her as I went to visit today...) They all know my position on all of these things, but quite often either ignore it when they think they can get away with it or just keep going on and on trying to get me to back down.

I know all families are like it, but it just bugs me soooooooooo much! We have the "HE IS MY SON" conversation all the time, and it just doesnt sink in cause they think they know better. I dont want to row, so I keep telling them calmly, but they dont listen

AIBU for this to be driving me crazy? Do I just need to chill out and put up with it?

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 23:02

Welcome to Parenthood :O

QueenofAllWildThings · 20/02/2011 23:05

It is bloody annoying. I used to point out my mum's inconsistencies (don't pick him up all the time - ooh, cuddle him a lot, they're only tiny once!), then I gave up and let it wash over me. Occasionally I'd have to say "thanks for your advice but I've DECIDED TO DO IT THIS WAY" Hmph.

LilQueenie · 20/02/2011 23:05

tell them straight or cut back on visits till they get the message.

Tangle · 20/02/2011 23:05

If they're not going to listen and you don't want the arguments you need to either:

  • do what they say
  • cut them out of your life
  • learn to say "thank you for your advice - we'll consider it" while ignoring them

Otherwise - GreenEyes is spot on....

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2011 23:05

shortly after I started weaning DS, my grandad took it upon himself to say in a panicked voice to my mum (the child's grandmother, when I, his mother was in the room) - "he has some bread in his mouth - IN HIS MOUTH"

Well yes, that's kind of the point Hmm

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 20/02/2011 23:05

Haha, thought as much Grin

Very cathartic to type it all out though! [and breathe...]

OP posts:
Tangle · 20/02/2011 23:08

oh - missed one...

  • kill the lot of them and claim undue provocation

(hastens to add that is a JOKE! and I've had too much Wine Blush)

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2011 23:09

ooh you mustn't drink wine when you have children you know

StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2011 23:09

the FUMES can lead them down the path of alcoholism

mmsmum · 20/02/2011 23:13

YANBU stop visiting or drink lots of wine and give them something to really talk about Grin

Tangle · 20/02/2011 23:15

Damn - knew I was doing something wrong... I'll stick to gin in the future :o

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 20/02/2011 23:15

Haha, did that on new year. DS slept like a baby !! Grin

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 20/02/2011 23:17

gin is fine - after all why would it be called mothers' ruin if it wasn't aimed at mums?

Tangle · 20/02/2011 23:18

Hurrah!

Hic!

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 23:25

I haven't listened to a word my mother says since she let slip that when breastfeeding me, she would get me latched on and all comfy, whilst my dad lit her a fag and brought her the ashtray and a cup of coffee, to rest on the arm of the chair.

This woman tried to give me weaning advice. I love you to bits Mum, but there is a REASON I'm five foot one, and I think you and Dad are it.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 20/02/2011 23:29

Do you have a little dent in your head where she rested the ashtray Greeneyes ?? Grin

OP posts:
GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 23:31

No

But the little cig butt-shaped dint across the bridge of my nose really gets me down sometimes :(

scottishmummy · 20/02/2011 23:33

yes you need to grow a thicker skin or you'll implode. see thing is being mum=every biddie,relative ,stranger, relative.work colleague has an opinion on your dc
and guess what - they just cant wait share their anecdotes,half truths and near fatal advice with you.except now it includes quasi-research and quacks like Oliver james and biddulph tambourine bashers

so lighten up.you have years of this mince ahead

practise youre im listening face.whist steadfastly ignoring

lospolloshermanos · 20/02/2011 23:36

Oh I hear you OP I Have my mum, MIL and grandma to contend with

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