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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have the kind of family that many people think shouldn't need extra help from the Government

294 replies

MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 20:12

I would like somebody to tell me how we can reduce our outgoings. We are the kind of family who people seem to think shouldn't need any financial help from the government. there seems to be an attitude that we just need to tighten our belts a bit. So I am really interested in how people think we will manage if out tax credits are cut.

Dh earns just under 25K. I really seriously cannot at the moment due to health problems.

We currently get £80 a week in TC and this helps us keep our head above water. But under the new system it looks like we wont get it any more.

So with DH salary and CB we have a monthly income £1772.00

Mortgage £700
Council tax £83
Car Insurance £58
Gas £60
Elec £80
Maintenance for DSD's £250
Petrol £200
Contents and Buildings ins 67.00
other bits ie TV licence, broad band phone, pet insurance £100
Nappies £20

That would then leave us just £154 each month to clothe and feed 3DC and to feed 2 dsd's.

How are we suppose to manage on that? I'm not saying that we should just be given hand outs but why can't the government do other things to help like keeping petrol cost lower. we just about managing at the moment but we are going to be in shit if these cuts go ahead. We will end up losing our home.

Even worse I suspect there are thousands of families like us out there. The ones trapped in the middle, not earning enough to survive but earning too much to get any help.

OP posts:
OADCB · 20/02/2011 21:57

Bastard ex eh?

Does he have contact/ is he working?

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 21:58

Gaelic, that's exactly it! We would be loathed to reduce the payments we make for dsd's. Dh takes his responsibilities very seriously.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 20/02/2011 21:59

There is no lump sum, no equity..........you could also choose a property that is hopefully more economical to run and if anything goes wrong you don't have to pay to fix it.

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 21:59

He does work sporadically but changed jobs often or leaves the country for a few months. He had sporadic contact. He sometimes goes a whole year without contacting us. CSA are rubbish too!

OP posts:
darleneconnor · 20/02/2011 22:00

OADCB- 90 year olds overtake me on the pavement, there's every chance I could be in a wheelchair before I'm 35.

I've been where the op is. That is why I know what she has to do.

OADCB · 20/02/2011 22:01

Then change your nasty tone.

It's like kicking a dog when it's down

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 22:02

Mamatomany, because they are rubbish. And then as soon ad they pin him down he buggers off again. They once got it all sorted and I even got a payment, they took it from his wages, so he quit his job and moved again.

OP posts:
darleneconnor · 20/02/2011 22:05

oadcb- not to sound too much like I'm in a playground but she was quite abrupt with me first.

mamatomany · 20/02/2011 22:07

But the CSA have his national insurance number if they've done an attachment of earnings already and therefore they can see his P60, there's more than one way to skin a cat, you need to see a solicitor, especially if you were married you're in a strong position to get a court order and then if he doesn't pay he'll go to prison.
Don't get fobbed off, I was in 2005 and lost £115,000 as a result, never again.

chickchickchicken · 20/02/2011 22:12

OP - mental health problems can be as disabling as physical health problems. if you want help with the DLA form post on the parents with disabilities thread.

Also voluntary mental health groups, like Mind or Rethink, have support workers who can help with form filling but i think they have waiting lists. as you have medical evidence and a psychiatrist and cpn i think you stand a very good chance of getting dla

re your dog. if you look on the doghouse boards you will find many people have posted on there today about how their dogs have helped them get through tough times in life. i hope you keep your dog - for your sake as well as the dog

beanlet · 20/02/2011 22:13

May I remind you Darlene that your very first comment to Memoo was "didn't you think about this before you and your DH had 5 kids you feckless cow. I'd be shit poor if I had 5 kids but I am superior super saving woman so beat that moron"

If you fail to see why the tone of your first and subsequent posts are offensive, then all I can say is Biscuit

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 22:13

Where was I abrupt with you Darlene?

OP posts:
Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 22:15

Beanlet is right Darlene, I did find your first comment to me rather harsh.

OP posts:
OADCB · 20/02/2011 22:15

Darlene

Don't worry about playground- it's where you obviously spent all your time and failed to master reading. The first and last sentence of your initial post on this thread is where you set your tone.

I think the first response from the OP wasn't particulary rude after what you had said.

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 22:15

Chick, I will contact mind, that's a really good idea

OP posts:
OADCB · 20/02/2011 22:16

Beanlet clearly is a faster typer!

Morloth · 20/02/2011 22:16

Valhalla if the choice is between the kids and the dog then I would eat the dog if I needed to. I don't share your thoughts/feelings about animals, I just don't care as much.

The dog would go after the car but before the house if I was in the OP's situation.

I remember having to cull livestock who we couldn't feed but who were not worth anything on the market. It was a waste but lofty ideals are for those that can afford them.

MorticiaAddams · 20/02/2011 22:26

MogadoredMemoo You don't seem to have answered the question which has been asked several times about whether you have tried to claim for either employment support allowance or incapacity benefit.

Your local jobcentreplus should be able to advise as to whether you are eligible.

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 22:26

Hi memoo,

What area of the country do you live in? Your mortgage sounds high for a 110k house. Are you on a repayment mortgage or interest only you never said
?

To all those who said get rid of the dog your a nasty bunch and probably contribute to all those pets being abandoned. How cruel to do that to your animal. You wouldn't be cruel to kids (or would you) so why get rid of the dog? Dogs hardly cost anything tbh. They don't need much.

I think you need to think of a way to make money yourself as well as husband working. I know you have issues mentally but there must be something you can do to earn some cash. Presumably if it is after you had baby its post natal depression. Must be tough but there will be some job you can do from home at least.

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 22:26

Hi memoo,

What area of the country do you live in? Your mortgage sounds high for a 110k house. Are you on a repayment mortgage or interest only you never said
?

To all those who said get rid of the dog your a nasty bunch and probably contribute to all those pets being abandoned. How cruel to do that to your animal. You wouldn't be cruel to kids (or would you) so why get rid of the dog? Dogs hardly cost anything tbh. They don't need much.

I think you need to think of a way to make money yourself as well as husband working. I know you have issues mentally but there must be something you can do to earn some cash. Presumably if it is after you had baby its post natal depression. Must be tough but there will be some job you can do from home at least.

Vallhala · 20/02/2011 22:28

Mamatomany, sadly I know, I've been rescuing for some years now and am very painfully aware of the effects of downturns in the economy. I however would sell my soul before I lost my pets.

Mog, the person who insures their pet is less likely to be the person who dumps her when the going gets rough in my experience. I didn;t think that pooch was likely to be leaving you somehow. :)

Darlene, you're simply disgraceful.

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 22:28

Morloth your very strange to do that to pets!

christmaswishes · 20/02/2011 22:28

Morloth your very strange to do that to pets!

Original poster
MogadoredMemoo · 20/02/2011 22:31

Morticia, I am going to look into claiming, I hadn't even heard of ema before tonight.

OP posts:
rightpissedoff · 20/02/2011 22:32

Your utility bills and contents insurance bills are too high.

Also petrol -- can you cut down on that.

Well done for stretching yourself to buy a house. It's worth wearing extra jumpers at home and walking to the park to do that.

Only buy the clothes the children need, basically shoes. Hand everything else down. Wear second hand. Eat bargain healthy food. Which you can (I do).

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