To think there is no such thing as a soul mate

[scruffybird]

Am I the only one who thinks that it is a load of bollocks?

I believe some people are joined together throughout time, space and infinite alternate realities.
All I know is that there is no other man on earth for me, other than DH.

Malificence me too

I do believe in a soulmate. When I met my DH, before I knew what his nationality was, before I had even spoken to him, I knew I would marry him. Not love at first sight, but a deep realisation that we would be together. It turned out that he was not British, that I spoke his language fluently, and that co-incidences that remain unexplainable had brought him to the town where I lived. (Not a major city). We are still very happy, together 7 year, married for 4.

Just realised I sound like a stalker!! I did not share this at the beginning of our relationship!! He mentioned the 'love' word first and asked me to marry him after our first kiss!!

Another non believer here...it's all down to timing; the fact that my DH is British and I'm American and we got together has nothing to do with some weird cosmic force...we just happened to be at the same party at the same time! We are a great match, but I wouldn't say we're soulmates.

Yes, I believe.

I also don't necessarily believe there is a 'ONE' but I do think that there are ones who are by far more likely to feel right than any other. I was madly in love with one who I didn't necessarily believe was the one, but I thought could be the one... however it did not last.
DH and I are perfectly mated however in every sense and it took some rather random events to bring us together (another American who met a British bloke, but in this case in France even though he was living in Finland at the time... and just visiting his parents for the Christmas holidays...)I am utterly thankful for all those coincidences which did bring us together because I do not have to settle with him :) and he's not settled with me as we're from the same planet so to speak.
I do think with some more searching (but not in the town I was in) I would have/could have found another person who suited, but I found him first and so I don't have to.

I don't believe in romantic soulmates, but I do think that sometimes you meet people you just 'click' with for no obvious reason. If you add a bit of sexual interest to that I can see why the idea exists.

It's a load of rubbish.

I've been married for 15 years and love my husband very much but I can dislike him too. A relationship takes work, it's not easy.

All this soulmate nonsense is for loved-up teenagers

The soulmate thing causes so much pressure.

A friend of mine met her 'soulmate' after a string of OTT relationships. They were perfectly matched in every way (career, interests, prospects) and he was a lovely man- the first one she was ever herself with.
Sadly he died 2 months before their wedding.
Fast forward a few years and after much grieving she's now fallen in love with someone else. They're perfect for each other and have just got married.

Does that mean she's had two soulmates?

I believe love can happen with different people at different stages of our life. Ideally we would meet and stay with the same person- but circumstances don't always allow that.
When we are with someone we really love of course we don't conceive life without them. But sometimes we have to- does that mean we should never open ourselves to the possibility of meeting someone else?

I rather like the term. Not because of any belief in some cosmic bollocks, but because it's just another way to express how much someone means to you. But then I refer to my OH because of Aristophanes' speech in Plato's Symposium (bear with my ponciness for a moment).

The myth goes that humans were originally both male and female, had four arms and legs and one head with two faces. Being too strong for the gods' comfort, Zeus bisected them.

"Man's original body having been thus cut in two, each half yearned for the half from which it had been severed. When they met, they threw their arms around one another and embraced, in thier longing to grow together again, and they perished of hunger and general neglaect of their concerns, because they would not do anything apart. When one member of a pair died and the other was left, the latter sought after and embraced another partner, which might be the half either of a female whole (what is now called a woman) or a male."

And yes, I couldn't imagine living without OH. Still can't really

Yes, I believe in it. It was love at first sight for both of us the instant we saw each other. She's from Poland, so definitely not in my local area . We were both at a week's Pagan conference back in 1995.

We moved in together after knowing each other for a total of 5 days (though we did exchange letters for a couple of months after she returned to Poland at the end of the conference) and have been married now for 15 years. I can't imagine being with anyone else.

Hmm, poor sentence construction in my last.

Ars, thanks for making me just a little more educated this morning.

I believe that certain people that touch each other at a very deep level, beyond falling in love and being together, and that's what I mean by 'soulmate'. I have fallen in love with people who weren't my soulmates. I don't think being with a soulmate means you would never find anyone else, or that it's easy, a soulmate is more likely to challenge you than be a plodding nice experience. But I do think my husband is my soulmate, he feels the same, both of us are realistic enough to know if one of us died/left, then we would go on to have relationships, but whether it would be the same experience, I just don't know.

Quite frankly, I would be tempted not to go for a soulmate next time, but a more convenient nice companionship, I sometimes find it an intense thing which can be too much!

Cornetto .

I agree absolutely with what you said. Very eloquently put.

ARgggghhhh....do people just really not understand statistics? I can't believe people think they are disproving the argument 'most people meet their significant other close to where they live' by saying 'well I didn't!'

'Soulmates' is nonsense.

YANBU.

s'a load of ol' shite.

I dont believe in "the one" or soul mates. I dont even believe there is somebody for everyone. Some people are meant to be alone. It sucks but thats life

I hate that expression, I think its very cheesy. My dh is the love of my life, but god forbid anything should happen him, I cant imagine spending the rest of my life alone.
On the subject of meeting the 'one' because they live near you. My dh lived 2 miles from my house. We live in a small town of 30,000, in N.Ireland, where believe this, everybody knows everybody! My dh used to go out with a girl who lived accross the road from me.Dh sister was my Brown Owl. We were once on the same train going to a big match final, (we know this as a drunk guy lost his finger in the old style train doors, and the train was delayed).My two best friends were talking to dh in the local pub and he was telling them he was headed for California the next morning for the summer, and they said oh our friend is out there too. Lo and behold I had somehow never laid eyes on this man! So I'm in California working on a Summer Camp, I go with on of the Irish guys to LAX airport to pick someone up. It was dh, and thats the first time we met 3000 miles from home, the rest is history!

ignore that random 'lo and behold' by the way! I started one sentence in my head and finished it differently