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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think, that from a young age children should be taught to behave properly around dogs?

102 replies

webbygeek91 · 20/02/2011 17:04

We are expected to be responsible dog owners, pick up, train them and keep them under control/well cared for, why don't parents teach their kids not to run screaming around dogs or run over to them and start trying to tug their tails/ride on them?

Also, to expect that kids should not be walking dogs on their own or at a significant distance from their parents with a dog that is:

A) Heavier than them
B) Has serious behaviour issues
C) A & B combined means said child has no control over dog.

OP posts:
mitochondria · 20/02/2011 22:51

Booy - I didn't say all dogs jump, did I?

Maybe the jumpy ones should be on leads?

BooyFuckingHoo · 20/02/2011 22:52

"Shame really, that nobody has taught all the dogs not to go and jump up at them."

this is what you said. which is silly as nobody owns all the dogs.

nancy75 · 20/02/2011 22:56

I have taught dd not to approach dogs when we are out.
I think it is people with dogs that are the problem, dd is a small 5 year old, about a year ago a dog bounded up to her in the park and knocked her over - she was terrified and is now afraid of dogs.
We walk to school through a park and at least once a week we encounter dogs, not on a lead that come over, despite the fact that dd is visably scared and upset the comment from the owners is always along the line of oh it won't bite/its very friendly/it just wants to say hello.
I have noticed owners rarely try to stop the dog coming over.
I think if you have a dog where there are other people it should be on a lead at all times.

mitochondria · 20/02/2011 22:59

As in, some of the dogs have been taught not to run at small toddlers and frighten them, but not all of them have.

Sorry if that isn't clear.

Actually, I do think all children should be taught not to go and pester random dogs. Same as they should be taught not to run in front of cars.

youngjoly · 20/02/2011 23:03

YANBU

I agree that children should be taught about dogs. I have instilled in my DDs that if they want to stroke a dog, they must ask the owner if it is okay for them to (as not all dogs would be happy with this)

But it does irk me when my DDs ask politely and they don't get a clear yes, or the owners dismiss my request for the DDs to ask permission 'because their dog is friendly'. That's not the point! The point is my DDs have no idea as to which dogs are child friendly and which ones are not, so to protect themselves they need to ask.... whether your dog is friendly is irrelevant.... Grrr!

BooyFuckingHoo · 20/02/2011 23:07

ah yes i see your point mito, it is the same as i feel that soem children are taught but otehr aren't. i feel tehy all should be, for tehir own safety.

cory · 21/02/2011 07:43

I absolutely agree as far as poking and pulling goes- and I certainly have trained mine. Also, not to walk up to strange dogs before introduced by the owner.

Otoh how do you train a hysterical 2yo to stop screaming? Dd was terrified of various things at that age- dogs, clowns, anybody dressed up, cats - and became totally unreachable.

Dog owners tend to think that any child who is frightened of dogs must have been taught this by their parent. In which case, I must also have spent time actively teaching dd to be afraid of anyone dressed up in a dolphin costume... [hmmm]

hymie · 21/02/2011 07:50

Surely there is always a degree of risk when small children mix with dogs, no matter how well behaved the dogs/squids are.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 21/02/2011 08:12

I have a two pronged attack so to speak on this. The DC's know that they are not to stroke any dog unless its owner is there, even if they know it well. The Headteacher has recently put a bit in the newsletter about this which I thought was good .

Then with my dog she's put back on a lead when we see people unless they are adults with a dog off lead. I don't appreciate it though when I've got her on a lead, mare her sit and wait for a family with toddlers to pass to hear the Dad say 'hurry up or the dog will get you' to his DC's as happened recently. My DD who is 12 is not allowed to walk her as dog is 25kgs and although pretty good , I can't guarantee she won't try to do something silly , I have the strength to stop her, DD doesn't. She has a friend the same age who had a lab who is a nightmare and jumps all over people, she drew blood through DH's trousers recently. Her Mum seems quite happy to let her DD walk the dog that I have seen her ie. an adult struggle to control, an accident waiting to happen.

Goblinchild · 21/02/2011 08:16

'I don't appreciate it though when I've got her on a lead, mare her sit and wait for a family with toddlers to pass to hear the Dad say 'hurry up or the dog will get you' to his DC's as happened recently. '

I taught mine to walk past without hurrying up, or making eye contact, as a target moving quickly tends to attract a dog's attention.
Sometimes the dogs still ranted and frothed and barked.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 21/02/2011 08:25

Very sensible Goblin, mine know to do that too along with all the not waving hands and squealing etc. At the time this guy said this, his two toddlers had walked past my dog who was sitting quietly on the grass by the path leaving plenty of space for them to walk by, she didn't make a noise or froth. Once they'd gone on I started walking again keeping dog on lead. He yelled that to toddlers lagging behind to get them moving. We caught them up again and he then told them to stroke the dog. Strangely they weren't keen to do stroke the dog they had been told would 'get' them, can't imagine why !

Goblinchild · 21/02/2011 08:31

He told them to stroke the dog without asking you first?
Prat.

Mishy1234 · 21/02/2011 08:43

We ALL have a responsibility to ensure the safety of our children and our dogs. No party needs training more than the other, they both do.

Children should be taught to have a healthy respect for animals and that includes not approaching an animal they don't know. Appropriate behaviour around all animals should be standard. No animal should have to put up with being prodded and humiliated.

twilight3 · 21/02/2011 08:50

ok, there are different issues here.

Yes, children should have respect for animals and not try to ride them, pull their tails etc.

But the OP also mentions that parents should teach their kids not to run screaming around dogs!!! Now, if I take my toddlers to the park I do it in order for them to run around screaming without annoying the neighbours, that's what kids do in parks. If your dog is bothered by children ppaying loudly then maybe said dog should not be around children. I will not have my kids interrupt their game for every passing dog just in case that dog is aggressive. Their owner should take responsibility

Goblinchild · 21/02/2011 08:51

Agreed twilight.

MyBoysHaveDogsNames · 21/02/2011 09:07

Any tips on what I should tell my two Ds? I tell them to ask the owner's permission before approaching a dog, to stick to the head end when stroking!

My brother-in-law has a dog and stressed that she shouldn't be stared at as she would feel threatened. I hadn't realised that. I am nervous around big dogs as was chased and jumped up at when I was small, so any other good tips for me and them?

So far I am managing my nervousness and haven't passed it onto them and want to be positive but careful around dogs.

Mymblesson · 21/02/2011 10:29

I hate dogs and wouldn't dream of having one in the house, but it makes sense to teach children how to behave with them as inevitably they'll come across them when out and about. We have friends with a dog, so my son has expereince of being around one, which is a Good Thing. I just ignore the stinky dribbling thing.

Mymblesson · 21/02/2011 10:31

The dog that is, not my son Grin

ShirtyGerty · 21/02/2011 10:45

YANBU but dog owners also have a responsibility to make sure that their animals are well behaved around people - including children.

The only dogs I come across are either fightening (snarling pitbulls that young lads drag around where I live) or so spoiled (my MILs lap dog that feels entitled to jump on anyone it feels like because she taught it to) that I really wouldn't care if DS never saw another dog again.

Goblinchild · 21/02/2011 10:49

I know, referring to another thread is Bad but it's interesting to read the one currently running about 'What should I do if a dog attacks my dog?'
The owners are talking about pepper spray, kicking other dogs and all sorts.
yet when I said I carry cayenne to resolve any attacks on me or my children, I got a kicking and they weren't wearing Ugg boots either.
So OK to batter a dog attacking yours, but not if the dog is attacking your child?

twilight3 · 21/02/2011 10:59

I hear you Goblin

Vallhala · 21/02/2011 11:14

Another armchair APBT identification expert.

Why courts trying BSL cases don't save money by employing these obvious experts instead of specialist vets, I don't know. Hmm

Anyway, Goblin, I won't be one of the advocates of kicking etc. Apart from the fact that it adds cruelty to an already painful and distressng situation it's also potentially dangerous.

Thinking about it... fuck me, do I really have to go over to chat to explain that small fact to supposedly reasonably intelligent MNers?

You've far more chance of stopping a fight by grabbing a dog's tail. A dog can be manouvere this way in such an emergency situation at the shock-point at which he releases his victim and turns... the same point at which the other dog should be grabbed and pulled away. Hard to describe, not easy to do unless at the right point and by a confident person but I'd be far more confident about doing that than I would kicking an already angry dog!

mamadiva · 21/02/2011 11:15

My DS is 4.7YO and he has been brought up around my mums dog.

No matter how much we tell/shout/explain/discipline himmm he still torments the poor bloody thing.

Sometimes it just does'nt pan out the way we want!

Vallhala · 21/02/2011 11:16

Sorry... I missed the D in manouvered.

Goblinchild · 21/02/2011 11:16

Why not pop over to the thread I mentioned Val?
There's a lot of violence against dogs being advocated as a retaliation. They could do with some sane advice.