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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think i need to lock Cbeebies as the only chanel my DC get to see?

17 replies

yogididabooboo · 20/02/2011 15:28

They don't watch much Tv and when they do it is mostly films.

This morning I had saturday kitchen on so it was on "normal" tv rather than a childrens chanel.

OMG within the space of half an hour DS (10) came and asked me what "no strings attached" means as he had seen a film trailer.
Next DD flicks through trying to find a cartoon and stops at C4 as it was some music show. she wanders off leaving it on and hollyoaks follows. I wasn't taking much notice as i was off doing housework.

Next thing i hear them asking each other what "rape" is.

Fuck me i ran in and switched it off.

Now its not like they were watching an adult rated film or this was on a friday evening, this was early morning sunday viewing.
I wouldn't normally allow them to watch Hollyoaks, it just followed another music thing which didn't seem too bad.

It's a bit worrying just how easily this stuff filters through.

I am not at all prude like and am very open with them but rape really isn't something i wantto discuss with a 6 and 10 year old.

OP posts:

hardhatdonned · 20/02/2011 15:30

Have to say I do wonder if the watershed is even applicable any more and a lot of the topics discussed on tv during daytime hours really are not family friendly.

Even things like the hard hitting NSPCC adverts or cancer care charity adverts to my mind are things young children do not need to see.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 15:47

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Original poster

yogididabooboo · 20/02/2011 15:49

I understand that the hollyoaks was a repeat but even normally it is on at about 6pm isn't it?

they had obviously heard someone say something about being raped as they were play fighting and i heard DS say "i will rape you"

mY HEART LITERALLY SKIPPED A BEAT.

I told him very firmly that that was not a fun thing to say and he was not to be heard saying it again.
obviously he was surprised by my reaction and wanted to know why. How the bloody hell do you explain rape to a 1o year old?

I ended up saying that it is when someone hurts you very badly and is a very awful thing, not something to joke about.

So now i am worrying whether i should have explanded or whether i am going to end up called into school because he has repeated it.

There was me thinking i was sooo responsible because all the adult chanels are blocked and teh music and film chanels have pin codes on them.

Didn't realise i'd need it for c4!

OP posts:

LoisLame · 20/02/2011 15:53

I think you should lock Cbeebies too. Didn't you see the thread about the spliff reference on Rastamouse?

activate · 20/02/2011 15:54

Why wouldn't you talk to a 10 year old about rape?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 15:55

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Original poster

yogididabooboo · 20/02/2011 15:56

Because whilst he knows and understands sex i just dont feel he needs to knwo about rape yet.

and my 6 year old definitly doesnt.

but it would seem iabu.

Pixie no as i say, they don't watch much tv at all really and when they do it is usually films or the childrens chanels.

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PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 15:58

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Original poster

yogididabooboo · 20/02/2011 16:01

in general that is my philosophy too Pixie. I have explained so many things just lately...you should have heard me try and explain blow jobs! DS was horrified thank god.

This one just came as such a surprise.

It normally works that he will not be fobbed off and i doubt i will have heard teh last of it. I will have to formulate my answer soon.

I don't know, maybe i should watch more telly so as to be less surprised by what is on it

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PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 16:03

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Original poster

yogididabooboo · 20/02/2011 16:11

His face was a picture it really was.

almost as "fun" as the time i had to explain that his father and i were not married "but you must have been married mummy because you had me" "no you dont have to be married to have a child" "but how then"

"well so long as you love each other very much and want to build a family together then it doesn't really matter if you are married"

this then came to bite me right on the backside when he overheard some women in the playground talking about someone who was pregnant and yet unsure as to who the father was.

I swear it would be far easier to just get some permenant headphones sewn on to him.

OP posts:

BringOnTheGoat · 20/02/2011 16:11

I think it's terribly sad that anyone needs to explain rape to a 10 year old. Far too much 'adult' content is thrust upon children at far too young an age. TV ads, adults making inappropriate jokes/comments around children. From what I can see most adults don't see much reason to temper their behaviour around children - selfish and wrong IMHO.

activate · 20/02/2011 16:16

well I'm sure that the only reason he used the term in play is because he didn't understand that it was a horrific act of violence

you don't need to explain every single detail - you tailor it to the age of the child, their maturity and their questions

I just wouldn't avoid a topic just because its uncomfortable or associated with sexuality

Teenybitsad · 20/02/2011 16:23

I go mad at DH as he'll go in there and leave his sports channel on and then my youngest DD who is 2 will come in to find 2 men bashingthe shite out of one another in the name of wrestling...she was nearly in tears the other day at this close up of one man having his face crushed into the floor!

The ads are bad too.

LaWeasel · 20/02/2011 16:24

At 10 though, rape will come up on the news and in headlines. I think unfortunately that as they can read fluently you are stuck explaining things you'd rather didn't exist or your cute child knew about.

And it is a good chance to talk about being really sure the other person wants to have sex with you.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 16:28

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Underachieving · 20/02/2011 16:41

I can remember being about 5 or 6 and on the bus with my Mum and there was a poster which said "wanted for Rape" with a photofit picture. Kids being exposed to inappropriate information is nothing new. What I do know though is that my Mum refusing to tell me what the word meant lead to me spending weeks wondering and that was no good thing. I must have asked every adult I knew! What bugged me wasn't that there was a word I didn't know, it was the sense that I was not allowed to know and being so young I had no concept of the stone wall of silence or revulsion from adults being supposedly for my own good. Eventually I was told if I did not stop asking I would be punished. So I was still annoyed that no one would tell me, as far as I was concerned I knew what murder and robbery meant and obviously this man was bad so why shouldn't I know?

I found with my 11 year old I truly hated her coming into contact with things she just should not know about at whatever age and that I could edit the information sources somewhat but that eventually she was going to ask difficult questions. I have always tried not to make a big deal of them because I think if you do make a big deal of them your kids will too.

In your shoes I'd have said something explainatory but not detailed like "it's a way of hurting someone that involves sex and it's a terrible crime" and then left it at that. I would also have made a quiet resolution not to let them watch Hollyoaks again, but not to let them realise this (just not have TV on at that time).

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