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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To be annoyed with my brother?

16 replies

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 09:20

Hi. I've got my 36 year old brother staying with me for the time being & i'm finding it quite hard to deal with. He acts so bloody childish & I don't see why I have to put up with it. He calls my 10mo ds 'ginge, bratskull & dopey' & he comes out with racist comments. I've already asked him to stop & he laughed it off, & I was talking to my mother about it yesterday. She basically laughed it off & told me i've got to put up with it. aibu to not want it around my son? If I wouldn't put with it from anybo

OP posts:

Original poster

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 09:22

That's meant to end 'if i don't put up with it from anybody else, why should i with him just because he's my brother'

OP posts:

MissyKLo · 20/02/2011 09:23

You really need to ask?! And why have you posted this three times?

Tell him to go

Now

Oneof4 · 20/02/2011 09:24

Your house, your rules. Sounds like he has no respect for you, TBH.

Original poster

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 09:25

Have i posted this three times? Bloody mobile phone!

OP posts:

Original poster

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 09:25

Have i posted this three times? Bloody mobile phone!

OP posts:

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 20/02/2011 09:26

Tell him to leave then

Original poster

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 09:29

That's the difficult part. He's got nowhere else to go. He'll end up living in his car again. I find it hard to confront people. I've come on here so i can get some wise words to throw at him.

OP posts:

saffy85 · 20/02/2011 09:41

YANBU

If your mum has no issue with your brother's stupid rude comments and lask of respect I don't see why she can't take him in.

Rhadegunde · 20/02/2011 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 20/02/2011 09:44

Send him to your mum's (send him to your mum's, send him to your mum's)

Is there a bit of an echo around here?

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 20/02/2011 09:44

Wise words....." my house my rules"

lisianthus · 20/02/2011 09:45

If your mother is fine with it, send him over there. You are doing him a big favour and it seems as if he can't even show you basic respect and courtesy in your own home. Not on.

saffy85 · 20/02/2011 09:52

Seriously. If your brother is that thick that he can't keep his trap shut when you are doing him a mahoosive favour by letting him crash at yours, he deserves to kip in his car for the forseeable future.

And if you do let him stay despite his shitty attitude I strongly advise you make him feel as unwelcome as possible. Otherwise you will never, ever get rid of him.

Also are you sure he wasn't the one who got dumped by his girlfriend and then kicked out, as opposed to leaving? For being a tosser.

MorticiaAddams · 20/02/2011 09:53

He's behaving like a child, so treat him like one.

Get down to his level and explain that his behaviour is not acceptable in your home. Tell him he can stay if this behaviour stops but if he continues with calling your son names and racist comments then he will have to leave - no chances.

If you set out the consequence of his action clearly to him then he has only himself to blame if he ends up living in his car.

Original poster

Coffeebeans · 20/02/2011 10:31

I've decided to give him till June. That's enough time to save up to go bankrupt. Then he can go our mum in Scotland.
I'll speak to him when i get a chance, maybe this evening after he's taken his son home.
I cant cope with it anymore. I don't see why I have to stay quiet! It just makes me so angry (especially at my myself for letting it carry on) I'm not looking forward to it, but I don't want my ds to think it's normal behaviour! Also, I hope this doesn't post numerous times. Echo, echo, echo! )))

OP posts:

BootyMum · 20/02/2011 11:25

Agree with Morticia

If you clearly set the boundaries in your home and your brother chooses to disregard this he has no-one else to blame if he ends up in his car because you won't put up with him.

It is not acceptable for him to bully and be unpleasant about your young son - your son and his feelings are your priority but your brother is big enough and ugly enough to look after himself and take the consequence of his own actions.

Flip