To think that a relative who smokes 30 a day isn't poor and shouldn't be asking for loans?

[darleneconnor]

Have been having a long-running arguement with relative who's difference between income and outgoings is the amount they spend on fags.

Said relative lost job and is now on benefits, struggling to cope with the change in lifestyle. But while I do have sympathy with her reduced means, I'd feel a whole lot more so if she wasnt sending £200pcm on cigarettes.

She implied that she wanted to borrow money from us, but not only would that have put us into debt, I also dont want to fund her habit.

She has now talked another relative with more money thansense to lend her £2k.

I know it's an addiction and really tough to quit. (She doesnt want to and has no intention of trying) But is this really any different than funding a heroin addiction? (in principle, not practice obv)

Cigarettes aside, if lending/giving someone money would put you in debt, never do it.

I've worked out, that as she has been smoking for 40 years, at £2k pa that is £80k in total.

She is determined to keep smoking. She doesn't believe it is that harmful (quotes examples of smokers who've lived til 90s) and says 'well you have to die of something'. I think she is more scared of dementia and would rather die young than end up like that.

She is selling her house now, because she cant afford the mortgage (and I suppose, indirectly to fund her habit).

Tell them to smoke roll ups that more than halves the cost of smoking.

I'm a chain-smoker on benefits Very grateful for posts above, saying it's impossible even harder to give up while under poverty stress! I've changed to roll-ups, too (Horrid things!)

Of course YANBU to refuse the loan, OP, but it is BU to judge. Happens to me a lot - other people think I 'should' spend my money differently and don't seem to mind telling me so. I never tell 'em how to spend theirs!

if she wants to smoke let her, just because you dont agree with it dousnt give you the mroal high ground. you need to decide whether the issue about lending money is A. you dont believe youl get it back, if so dont lend. if B. you dont want her spending it on ciggies thats ur

I don't buy that nicotine is more addictive than crack cocaine. And even if it is, the withdrawal symptoms are extremely mild and over in a few days. You can carry on living a normal life while withdrawing from nicotine, which I don't think you can do with many addictive substances.

the withdrawal symptoms are extremely mild and over in a few days

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaah!!!!!

AgeingGrace I managed to give up with few physical symptoms. I found the psychological symptomsmuch worse. I do think people overstate the physical symptoms in withdrawal from nicotine.

After all alcoholics can get hallucinations, whilst people withdrawing from a whole range of drugs get very shivery and shaky and extremely agitated.

I'm not saying that it is easy psychologically; but the physical symptoms ime are overstated.

Don't laugh at me Ageing.

The withdrawal from nicotine is extremely mild as withdrawal from addictive substances goes.

If you have difficulty giving up its because you are scared - no other reason. Be honest with yourself.

Sweats, cramps, tremors, insomnia, nightmares, migraines, nausea, aches, itches, mood swings ...

Don't invalidate my experiences, please, or the achievement of those who have managed to stop and stay stopped. If nicotine wasn't 'all that addictive', why do think smokers still smoke, and why is there a high rate of recidivism?

Tsk.

Ageing I much prefer roll ups with a filter tip, took a while to get used to, but I would not go back go fags.

I smoke those now, Fabby! Perhaps it's my technique, but they scatter ash everywhere & discolour my fingers. Much cheaper, though - and possibly healthier, as I use organic tobacco. I just wish they weren't so messy!

Agree with Bibbity. I smoked for 20 years and stopped 5 years ago. Nicotine is out of the body within 48 hours maximum so it isn't that that is being craved. It's the habit that's hard to kick. I found I was thinkng about cigarettes constantly for the first week and then after that, just a few times a day. It was after 3 months I felt completely 'free'.

Everybody's experiences are different but nicotine absorption and removal from the body is the same.

Smoking is psychologically addictive. The physical addiction is very mild. I know this because I have stopped smoking 7 times but only managed to stay stopped for longer than 18 months once so far!. But of course I have not been feeling a physical craving for all those many months and years I didn't smoke during my smoking career.

I started again because I just really fancied one.

I wasn't saying there aren't physical symptoms from withdrawal; just their effect tends to be exagerrated. I have given up smoking and like most people, it wasn't the physical withdrawal that was really hard, it was the psychological factors e.g. really wanting to smoke when I got home from work and made my first cup of tea.

Haven't "They" just discovered a genetic fault in heavily-addicted smokers? The bit that transmits messages from the nicotine receptors to the brain doesn't work. So the brain never thinks it's got enough nicotine. I'm guessing Frog's DH and I have this mutation ...

... I'm looking forward to when "They" come up with a fix for it!

AgeingGrace... Who has discovered that? I don't buy into it. I don't believe in 'heavy addiction' either - the body takes in the nicotine in the same way, it leaves the body in the same way... do you mean by 'topping it up' with another cigarette?

It's still the same amount of nicotine so I'm unconvinced really in the same way that people say they have 'addictive personalities'; I think nearly all smokers would say that because it 'explains' why an addiction is harder to kick for them than for anybody else.

Bibbity... I have a friend who has quit several times; she gave up for five years once and then thought she could have just one. It took her another eight years to stop but she's been smoke-free for two now, I think.

search.independent.co.uk/topic/receptors-nicotine :)

Lying, I have been off the fags for two years five months now, so feeling optimistic . I think I've finally learned to not have just the one.

AgeingGrace... Interesting. I didn't know which article it was so I read them all. We know that there are receptors, the Niquitin adverts and the like use animation in their adverts to show them. The research isn't conclusive in humans and, according to the article some humans are thought to have the characteristic gene.

The article doesn't mention anything about 'heavy addiction' though, unless I've missed it? Unlike mice, humans have the capacity to reason.

Bibbity... Congrats! It must be so hard to give up again... I don't think I could which is why I say that I can't ever smoke again, not a puff even. I daren't risk it..

nah isn't 80k - 10yrs ago a pack of 20 were under £4 (didn't smoke in the UK before that so have no idea how much they were before then)

oh just found 1990 RRP was £1.65

I remember starting at 17... Consulate cigarettes were £1.50 ish a packet. I also remember buying Sobranie Cocktail cigarettes and saving all the purple ones because they were my favourite colour..