to be pissed off at how guilty my DP has been made to feel?

[DirtyBit]

Yesterday, we went round to DPs friends'(A = male friend, B= friend's girlfriend) house, and the first thing they said was "oh we're never asking you to do anything again". This was in reference to the fact that after he'd spent about 2 hours helping B to put up some curtain fixtures because A has a bad leg, they weren't entirely level. Now I saw DP measuring again and again, so I don't know how it happened, but after the rail was up, they were completely covered anyway and it made no difference.
I thought that was really rude after how long he spent helping them.

Then, DP was playing with A&Bs DD (aged 1), a game she loves, which involves him lifting her up and dropping her from about a couple of inches high on to a big cushion (he doesn't actually drop her, he has hold of her at all times). On one occasion, she bit her tongue and it bled a little bit, DP was horrified, but A just said "it's alright mate it's fine", as she has bitten her tongue numerous times before, and it wasn't a bad cut. She was absolutely fine after having a drink and was back to her normal self within minutes.

DP felt really bad already, but then about an hour and half later, it came up in conversation and DP said he didn't know how it had happened as he's been doing the same thing again and again and it was fine. A then said to him that he had nearly broken her neck and her head had snapped forwards and DP was even more horrified.
I was a bit as firstly, I saw the whole thing and that didn't happen, and secondly, I know if it had, A would have said something immediately along the lines of "be careful mate, you're going to break her neck doing that" which he didn't.

Don't get me wrong, I know parents are protective over their children, but it's just the fact that he didn't say anything or seem worried at all at the time, then a couple of hours later made comments like that.

I just feel really bad for DP as he feels so guilty for what was an accident, didn't do much damage, and now he feels uncomfortable polaying with their DD, which they had both loved, and he's worried that he's going to do something wrong with our DD when she is born in a couple of months.

AIBU to feel this way?

No you aren't unreasonable. I'm sure your dp was in no way rough enough with her for her to have almost snapped her neck.

How horrible for him to have been made to feel in some way guilty for playing with her.

Well, there's two separate issues.

Your friends are being twattish to be ungrateful about the DIY. If they wanted something professionally done, they should have paid for it. If they wanted a friend to do a favour, they should put up and shut up if they don't like it.

The thing with the baby sounds a bit different. Obviously your DP meant no harm, but I can totally sympathize with a parent feeling shocked that he (even accidentally) did something that ended up with their child bleeding. Probably any parent would be shocked by the sight of blood and your DP should be very apologetic really. It sounds as if their reaction later on was a bit of delayed shock coming out as obviously they didn't realize he was going to hurt the baby either and maybe feel a bit guilty they didn't think to stop the game.

I'd wait for them to calm down and then maybe if you are still both feeling upset about it all, raise the issue gently and say you feel bad about it - otherwise it'll just simmer on.

I know what you're saying LittleRedDragon, the worst thing is I know I would probably be the same if that happened to my DD, I just can't help feeling it was a bit over exaggerated,and I feel so bad for my DP as well. :(

I think they're being very ungrateful about the curtain rail and if I was your DP I wouldn't do them any favours again. If they ask he should say "No because you clearly weren't happy the last time I helped out".

With regards to throwing their DD around, I have to say it is a bugbear of mine when people are too rough with my children. Rough play is fine but sometimes it goes a bit over the top. I don't think a one year old should be thrown around, and if she bit her tongue then clearly there was quite a bit of force there to make her do that.

Yes, I would feel awful too if it were me. But I think the thing is, you and your DP and your friends all feel bad - everyone does when something like that happens. Their reaction isn't fun for your DH, but he'd have felt awful no matter how they reacted. It's probably best to put that one down to them just blowing off steam and hope you can all forget about it. If it were me I would probably be very apologetic, because even though it's not your DP's fault, it's the right thing to do given they shock they've had, and it's the most likely thing to smooth over the whole situation and make them realize they've been OTT.

The DIY would be making me really cross though, I can't stand people who call in favours then moan!