to wonder if this is normal?

[splashyy]

My dd is 4 months old now, so some time has elapsed, but the treatment I received from one midwife while I was in labour has been disturbing me, and I wanted to ask your opinions.

My midwife went on a break, and another one came in to look after me briefly. She commented how I looked too calm during my contractions (I just coped with the pain by breathing through it, not making any noise) and wanted to examine me. Even though my waters had already broken, she broke them again. The part that I found disturbing was that she then started stretching my cervix without any warning. This was of course excruciatingly painful.

As far as I know there was no need for this (I wasn't failing to progress). I believe she was wrong as even if there was a need she should have explained what she was going to do and sought consent first. Aibu to question this behaviour?

YABU to question it 4 months on. I think everyone has at least one complaint about their childbirth treatment. Probably time to let it go and enjoy your baby.

YANBU

Unless it was an emergency, she had no right to either break your waters again and certainly not to stretch your cervix without your consent.

Absolutely right to question it. However, you might want to take some time thinking about what outcome you want from any complaint you make before you "get into the system"' iyswim.

4 months on it is still bothering me is the point I was trying to make. When I was in labour I did tell my regular midwife I wasn't happy and she agreed that she shouldn't have this.

I realise that making a complaint would be probably more trouble then its worth, but I did find this midwife's behaviour rather disturbing, and just wanted other people's opinions.

Did you consent to the ve?

Were you induced or not making progress?

Tbh it's difficult to answer without all the information.

When we say you are too comfortable we often
mean you are not contracting enough or strongly enough iyswim? Breaking your waters can solve this.

Were you being continuously monitored?

enorma
My waters had broken already.
I did consent to a ve but nothing else.
I was being induced and continuously monitored. This was due to fetal distress, however this happened only a couple of hours after induction had began and I was not failing to progress at that time.

Ok, were you on the syntocinon drip?

If so then she did right to rebreak your waters.

It sounds like you weren't contracting effectively so IMO she did the right thing. Also if the ctg was suboptimal the arm is usually performed.

She should have gone through everything prior to ve to enable you to make an informed choice.

It is difficult to say what should have/shouldn't have been done.

In the situations I described above I would say that arm was the best course of action.

enorma
Thanks for your reply.
What does arm stand for?
Yes it was a syntocin drip.
Was manually stretching the cervix normal? Sorry if that's what arm refers to.

I was called the silent labourer up to 6cms and after 12 hours midwife did a similar thing and actually gave my cervix a shake and got the knitting needle out - I thought my waters had already gone but it turned out that there was a pocket of them somehow unpopped and in the way and once that was done contractions kicked in in earnest and he was born within the hour.

I had similar feelings that it was done as I was "too comfortable" but as I understand it they were concerned because that after a quick start to the dilating and mild contracting there had been no progress of any sort for at least 8 hours.

I don't think you are remotely unreasonable, and four months is nothing with a newborn - it's not like you have the energy to pen an angry letter the following morning.

I believe you can go through PALS or via the midwife unit to discuss what was done and why - it may help you understand or put to bed the issue, or take it further if you're still unhappy.

If you were on the syntocinon drip then she definately did the right thing.

Arm = artificial rupture of membranes

she stretched the cervix to encourage dilation.

Imvho I would have done the same but would have explained everything first.

smithwickbelle thank you for sharing your experience. I laboured silently throughout, but that's just how I coped.

enorma thanks for explaining. I just wish that had been explained at the time, so that I was prepared.

After rebreaking my waters I was having 6-7 contractions in 10 minutes and rather out of it on the gas and air so not too happy!

I found that everytime I had a VE when being induced (e.g. to put in a pessary or gel) it would be painful and afterwards the MW would say "I just gave you a stretch and sweep too", but they never asked.