Bullying?

[readywithwellies]

Which of these, if any, are examples of bullying:

(a)Saying work is 'insufficient' and asking colleague to discuss, when it is actually true.

(b) Feeling unable to speak while a certain colleague is in the room due to her mood swings.

Thanks

neither.

you are not bullying someone to say their work is not up to scratch (depending how you say it obviously)

and you are certainly not bullying someone to feel like you can't speak because they are moody! In fact, I'd say that one was BEING bullied.

Why?

Checking if I am bullying someone, I am the one scared to speak.

Ummm....I agree with Hecate.

The second one sounds more like being bullied than bullying. No one should feel unable to say something because of someone else's mood swings.

The word 'insufficient' was written down in a sentence saying to discuss with me.

x post.

Is there someone you can speak to about colleague's mood swings?

ther person afraid to speak (you) may not necessarily be being bullied but it is clear the mood swing of the other colleague are affecting you. not necessarily bullying though unless she is purposelly doing it just to you.

Yeah I have and she has accused me of bullying. Hence the post

The examples you give do not appear to be bullying.

It is worth noting that it is a classic bully technique to cry bully when you aren't getting your own way or someone finally stands up to you! So if this person is doing that, might be something to consider.

Or are their moods more than moods? depression for example? and they genuinely feel got at by things as trivial as the way you say hello!

ah yes. x-post. you make a complaint and she cries bully.

Hec - classic bully technique is what I suspect

She is good at crying on demand as well.

then you have to stand up to it. calmly. make your case, prove that your comments re the work were fair and reasonable.

re the being afraid to speak up - I'm afraid you're going to have to learn to deal with that and become more assertive and see her moods as not your problem. just remain professional.

Yes, it is all happening, I am just paranoid that maybe I am doing something wrong, but everyone says she is a fruitloop.

oh I HATE manipulative crying.

I suggest deep sympathy "Oh, look, it's ok. You take a moment to compose yourself and then we will continue this."

Don't give in to bloody tears.

record everything
make everything by the book
at all times, or as far as possible, make sure you have a reliable witness

If everyone says she's a fruitloop then they probably recognise her antics as being manipulative and bullying.

Hecate's right, you can't give into it. Just try and remain calm and don't let her manipulate you or distract you from what you are saying. Use Hecate's example but make sure you say what you need to say. Easier said than done, I know, but eventually she'll realise she can't get away with it, hopefully.