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AIBU?

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Original poster

...not to want my 10 yr old son to play 18 cert games on his X-Box?

43 replies

Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:17

My 10 yr old (nearly 11) DS has just got an X-Box and badgered us into getting him Halo Reach to play on it. Now he wants Just Cause 2 for this birthday next month - I've just watched the trailer and realised it's an 18 and it's horrendously bloodthirsty! Halo Reach was bad enough...

I can understand him wanting exciting games and all of his friends seem to have these but we have just said no.

He sold his Playstation 2 and all his games to buy his X-Box but seems to think this means he can have all these horrible games. We're not giving in, but can anyone recommend any exciting X-Box games that are 12 rated or under and will appeal to an 11 year old?

An added complication is that we won't let him have the X Box or a TV in his room (except for special occasions like sleepovers) so he plays it in the living room, often when his 6 year old brother is around. DS2 watched DS1 playing Halo and has had bad dreams since.

I know he and his friends and many parents think I'm a fuddy duddy but I'm not bothered about that. But is it really the norm for kids in Y6 to play games aimed at adults? Do you think it's OK?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 18/02/2011 14:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhinestone · 18/02/2011 14:26

Well don't let him then. Put the 'parent' suit on and zip it up. Hmm

Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:30

So you think I am being unreasonable as I don't want my son to play 18 games? I am saying no, that's the point. Just wondered whether other parents in similar circs agreed with me and say no, whether they give in under pressure or whether they are OK with the whole idea. Because the point is a lot of his classmates play these games.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:32

...and does anyone have any recommendations for exciting games he canplay?

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 18/02/2011 14:33

ds1 is year 5, so a bit younger, but i've said no to the 18 games, and the same for films. can't police what he does at other friends' houses, but no i agree its reasonable. have had similar conversation with him about why i won't let him lie about his age to get a facebook account - just because other kids do it doesn't make it OK.

mrsravelstein · 18/02/2011 14:34

i am also totally amazed at people letting kids have TV/xbox/laptop in their bedrooms...

Tortoise · 18/02/2011 14:35

I won't let my 11yr old DS2 have 18 games or 16. He really wanted COD black ops and yes, his friends do have it, but i refused. Found out he had played it at a friends and i wasn't happy. Luckily the Mum spoke to me the next day and said she wouldn't let him play it if DS2 went round to play!
I don't care what other peoples rules are but my DC have to abide by my rules and they accept that.

cantspel · 18/02/2011 14:37

mrsravelstein Fri 18-Feb-11 14:34:07
i am also totally amazed at people letting kids have TV/xbox/laptop in their bedrooms...

why? Both mine have these in their rooms and they haven't turned into 2headed monsters.

Mutt · 18/02/2011 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:39

MrsR... me too! I've told DS1 he can't have anything like that in his room till he's 14 or so. And even later if I can get away with it.
I get so many friend requests on Facebook from his classmates and ignore them all - but loads of them seem to be on Facebook oo. I questioned one mum about it and she said 'oh but I know his password so I can check what he's been up to' - do they have ANY idea what they're letting themselves in for? Most of them haven't checked even the basic level of privacy settings!

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 18/02/2011 14:41

cantspel - because if ds1 had any of these in his room, we'd never see him again. and i would not be at all comfortable about him having internet access for extended periods without my knowing what he was looking at, who he was talking to. i didn't intend to sound judgemental about it, just that none of the 9 year olds i know have the maturity to be 'trusted' for want of a better word.

IloveJudgeJudy · 18/02/2011 14:42

No, please don't let him play any more 16-18+ games. We have an XBox and a PS3 in our house. Both are in the living-room, linked to the main TV. This is to ensure no overplaying, no playing when and what we (parents) don't like.

My DS2 (12) with the PS3 is playing Gran Turismo on there, but that might only be for PS3. There are lots of driving games around. They're usually pretty good, you drive and buy and sell different cars as you clock up points while you drive.

Also, there are lots of Lego games. How about Lego Star Wars. That's pretty good fun, too.

I wish you luck with this. Whether the Xbox/PS causes ructions in the family definitely depends on the character of the child. My older DS (16) can take or leave his video gaming. Won't play for weeks/months, but then might play for 4 hours, then not again for weeks. DS2 would play nearly every day if he were allowed and usually for quite a long time, although he's calmed down from the beginning enthusiasm when he got it. He does sometimes not play it at all, but plays with his train set or goes out with his friends.

I do know of boys who have to have their time religiously enforced with a timer. If you do have to do this, please make it a little bit of time each day, rather than a whole load on one day. IME some games definitely do seem to make the character of the players change a bit.

I wish you luck with whatever you decide. I hope you manage to keep harmony in your household, but I would stress again that it's not usually a good idea to let someone have a video game player in their room so they can play it whenever they want. There was a programme about video games with a boy of 15/16 getting up in the night just to play his games. That was extreme, though.

Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:43

Mutt... I don't think Halo is OK, actually, but another mum told me it wasn't 'real' violence (ie in an earth-based war setting) so it was OK. I believed her - I am not going to make that mistake again.

I don't mind him playing 'shoot em up' games per se, it's just these XBox games are so vivid and realistic!

Hence why I want to get him some more acceptable games that still satisfy his natural boys' bloodlust to an age-appropraite extent!

I have accepted that I can't police what does on at his friends' houses and that he will probably play them there. I don't like it, but the alternative is almost like social death for him...

OP posts:
littlewish · 18/02/2011 14:44

My son is 10. He has an older brother who is 17. I do not let 10yr old play over 15 /18 games or watch 15 dvd's unless I have seen it and decide if it's too rude or violent. DS 17 does now watch over 18 films and play the games but must not let little brother sneek into his bedroom and join in. DS2 accepts this even though many of his friends have no "rules". I don't feel mean or a spoil sport I am being cruel to be kind IYKWIM. I am keeping his head free of nasties for a little while longer.

FabbyChic · 18/02/2011 14:46

the only decent ones and the best selling are the games he wants.

Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:47

ILJJ - agree totally, specially with your comments about the bedroom playing.

I was thinking of getting Gran Turismo for his birthday actually, and also Fifa 11 which he had for his PS2 before he sold it. His dad likes playing that with him too - trouble is there's only one controller on the XBox.

He's been through Lego Star Wars on the PC when he was about 8. He loved it, but more than 20 mins of it and he was completely hyper. Might try getting it secondhand for the XBox though.

Thanks for the tips.

OP posts:
cantspel · 18/02/2011 14:49

mrsravelstein not all children are the same and i have never had any issue with it and my boys. Maybe i am lucky but i think children can make good choices on how to spend their time even if they do have xbox live in their bedrooms but then mine are now teenagers so a bit older than 9. When they were 9 all they had were tv's and an old gamecube.

fedupofnamechanging · 18/02/2011 14:49

The Harry Potter games are available on XBox and are very good. Tbh though a lot of xbox games are aimed at an older market. PS3 seems to have more things for young children. Lego games are also very good. My boys also like Star Wars, which I think is available on XBox.

If I were you, I would be a little more flexible wrt tv in his room for playing games. You can still control time spent on it, but it will give him a little more freedom to play games that are okay for him, but not for his younger brother. You don't have to tune it in, just keep it for games. I think if you are a bit flexible it is easier to say no to the things you really don't want.

cantspel · 18/02/2011 14:50

Does he like racing games? If so Blur is great and even my 13 year old loves it.

Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:51

Littlewish - that's the trouble - most of his friends either have older teenage brothers or are only kids - few of them have little brothers who want to join in!

Fabbychic - that does seem to be the case. Sad.

He does accept it when I say no, but then just finds another one to lust after!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wordsmith · 18/02/2011 14:52

Some great suggestions karma and cantspel. I'm writing them down and am about to go on Amazon...

OP posts:
GiddyPickle · 18/02/2011 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mutt · 18/02/2011 14:55

This reply has been deleted

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cantspel · 18/02/2011 14:58

There are plenty of child suitable games on xbox. Just go on play.com, click on xbox games and scroll down to the ones under children and family.

JamieLeeCurtis · 18/02/2011 15:02

We have a Wii and my 10 year old plays Mario games and Lego Harry Potter etc. Seems I might be raising an over-protected freak ....

YANBU