Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking my neighbours are taking the piss

20 replies

newbeemummy · 18/02/2011 14:17

One of our neighbours has a DD a couple of months oder than ours and it's great, the girls spend a lot of time together and enjoy each others company (as much as 15 month olds can)

We regularly look after their DD (and help out with other things but that's not the point) and I have no issue with that and they always offer to return the favour, but whenever we have approached them for help they're always busy, and then when we cancel our plans they're suddenly free again.

my DP doesn't mind and says it's just the way things go, but it's really starting to wind me up, this isn't the only family who are happy to take advantage of our baby sitting facilites, but never return the favour, but they are by far the worst.

OP posts:
waitwhat · 18/02/2011 14:18

Simple solution though ...Stop looking after their child... Hmm

Original poster
newbeemummy · 18/02/2011 14:26

I would but DP keeps agreeing to do it

OP posts:
Hardandsleazy · 18/02/2011 14:30

Tell him to stop- he may not mind but you clearly do

Hardandsleazy · 18/02/2011 14:30

Oh and yabu if they aren't responding in kind

Hardandsleazy · 18/02/2011 14:31

Sorry yanbu Blush

CleverClod · 18/02/2011 14:31

Ohhhh, you definitely need to be 'busy' next time you're asked.

trixymalixy · 18/02/2011 14:33

Hmm, I know someone like this. " Anytime, just not this weekend, or in fact every weekend for the next 3 months!!". Grrrr, so annoying!!!

Just start saying no, and get your DH told.

TheProvincialLady · 18/02/2011 14:33

Well if your DP s happy to do it, let him while you go out! He shouldn't agree on your behalf though.

DublinMammy · 18/02/2011 14:34

Cheeky buggers. Stop looking after their child. If your DP says yes again let him look after them on his own while you go out for a lovely walk/coffee/pedicure/shopping trip.

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 18/02/2011 14:34

I agree with TheProvincialLady if your DP agrees to look after the child then let him do it.

solooovely · 18/02/2011 14:35

Tell DP that you are feeling put upon so not to accept unless asking you.

MissyKLo · 18/02/2011 14:37

tell dp to stop

now!

or yes, leave him to it on his own

he will soon stop then!

walesblackbird · 18/02/2011 14:39

It does get annoying so YANBU. I have a 9 year old son - as does a neighbour - and their son is here very often. Sometimes for as much as 2 hours at a time. They get on well, he's a lovely boy but my son is never allowed back to their house.

We've fed him, looked after him while they've gone shopping but if my son goes to their house they both come straight back here.

I don't mind having him here but I do mind a little that it's never returned.

pearlym · 18/02/2011 14:50

Yanbu

We have great neighbours her and everyone takes fair turns apart from one, who will ask far too much of what are really casual acquaintances who happen to live nearby
E.G. takign them at 6.30 am so she can get off early to wor, takign them till 7.30 at night so she can go to an exhibition
the older kid is clingly and often cries so it is a bit hellish
I would just refuse to take on the whole burden as it will continue unless you change now

HecateQueenOfWitches · 18/02/2011 14:56

when he agrees to do it - is he the one actually caring for the child?

because that's the first thing I'd do. He commits to it - he looks after the child.

Even if that means you go out.

I wonder how often he'll be agreeing to look after the child then.

NellieForbush · 18/02/2011 15:02

Sounds like it is your DP who is taking the piss not your neighbours (assuming he agrees on your behalf and then leaves you to the childcare). Set him straight now!

starfishmummy · 18/02/2011 15:17

YANBU - ease off on what you do for them; if your DP agrees without consulting you then ring them straight up and say you are sorry but DP had forgotten that you had plans (or make him do it).

Next time they say can you have our DD for a couple of hours you could try the "yes that's OK if you will have mine on xxxday" and see if that works.

RJRabbit · 18/02/2011 15:21

Ask them when they are free to babysit as there's a movie you'd like to see / restaurant you'd like to try. A bit harder for them to say they're busy if you're asking them when they can do it.

Soso24 · 18/02/2011 15:24

OP, I purpose you could look at it this way since both of the children enjoy each other's company you could think that you are only doing them a favour for the benefit of the kids. Also you could let your neighbour know how you feel. If she does not seem to care then reduce the favours or let ur DP baby sit instead.

Original poster
newbeemummy · 18/02/2011 15:59

Thanks all for the comments, I'm particularly grumpy today as I was up all night with DD as she was ill and had planned to get a nap in before SIL arrive tonight to stay the weekend.

Typically he won't dump them on me, and bugger off, but I do find that I cannot just get a few cuddles and settle down nicely for bed time after a long days work, DP is SAHP.

I have said ok, but can he ask them to do it in return so we can get a night out, let's see what happens.

Do not want to say no outright as DD enjoys the company and neighbours DD is lovely, so I do not want to ruin a friendship between them.

Thanks again

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page