Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel slightly used? Long...

56 replies

strawberrylion · 17/02/2011 18:05

One of my closest friends got married almost six months ago...

I got over the fact that she didn't ask me to be bridesmaid (she asked someone else who she later said she regretted because she caused nothing but grief over dresses etc)...instead I helped out and I did all the flowers...she then asked me to do a reading during the ceremony, which I did...I got over the fact that I ended up out of pocket for the flowers...I got over the fact that I never got a thank you in the speeches...I got over the fact that I was the one (not her family or bridesmaids) who was expected to travel a 40mile round trip the day after the wedding to sort a problem with the hotel...

THEN I saw photos on facebook of an apparent second hen night that I wasn't invited to, or told about...the straw that broke the camel's back...I've kept my distance ever since because I didn't want to mention it and be accused of ruining her wedding weekend and I've never really known what to do about it since so we haven't seen each other (she has drunkenly asked me via text if she's done something to offend me but when I suggested going for a drink to talk she brushed me off)

AIBU??!

OP posts:
Altaira · 17/02/2011 18:28

What happened- I feel dizzy Grin

Monty27 · 17/02/2011 18:28

JANIE WE GET YOUR POINT!

lolol

I've reported the glitch. Grin

Milngavie · 17/02/2011 18:28

Roffle!

sobloodystupid · 17/02/2011 18:28

aaargh! My eyes! what was that about Facebook? Grin

spikeycow · 17/02/2011 18:28

why not just tell her why you are upset

sod FB and texting and all that malarky

MummieHunnie · 17/02/2011 18:30

why not just tell her why you are upset

sod FB and texting and all that being sarky

pinkthechaffinch · 17/02/2011 18:30

PMSL and I'm pre menstual and cross so thank you Janie Grin

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 17/02/2011 18:31

Posting again as sandwiched!!!!!!!

Who was actually invited to the hen party, what sort of do was it? I had two and didn't invite everyone to both.

TyraBanksForehead · 17/02/2011 18:32

This thread has some great tips but I wanted to add my thoughts. :) I think you should sod FB and phone her.

verybored · 17/02/2011 18:33

Am very disappointed. I thought from the number of posts this must have really kicked off! Grin.

To the OP, she sounds like she used you tbh Sad and isn't a very good friend. I would keep walking and stick to friends that deserve you.

Geistesabwesenheit · 17/02/2011 18:34

to feel slightly used? Long... No shit Grin

PS YANBU, she's not a proper friend.

bootilicious · 17/02/2011 18:35
Grin
Awhiteelephantintheroom · 17/02/2011 18:35

OP, I would drop your friend like a hot potato and not have anything more to do with her. I have been put upon a lot by so-called friends in the past, expected to do donkey work but excluded from the nice things, and now I say No to people and it's very liberating.

thefurryone · 17/02/2011 18:35

Were there other people you knew at the hen you weren't invited too? Could it have been a work one, or a people from the gym one type thing?

Think you need to talk to her about this.

TheProvincialLady · 17/02/2011 18:36

So to clarify, Janie, you think she should ring her friend?Grin

Your friend is an arse and you are a little bit of a mug to have done all that stuff without being recompensed. Next time say no.

doubleease · 17/02/2011 18:38

Ok I think she gets the message

Ask for the money you were out of pocket by.

doubleease · 17/02/2011 18:39

Were you invited to the 1st hen do? Why is there a second?

I'm helping my friend out with her wedding. It's doing my nut in and she'd put me on the top table but at least I know I'm appreciated. Even if I can't stand her soon to be h

mamatomany · 17/02/2011 18:40

Weddings are such a test of friendships, I lost a really good friend or so I thought because her brat of a daughter who was a bridesmaid along with her mother didn't want the £50 a head meal and demanded to be driven to MacDonalds, then after I'd made it clear from day one I'd be selling all the bridesmaids dresses as we were on a tight budget same daughter wanted hers to hang in her wardrobe instead and threw a paddy when I asked for it back, the mother hasn't spoken to me since, 8 years ago.

MummieHunnie · 17/02/2011 18:41

How long have you known the friend, and how did you meet her?

Your op sounds like you were used so far, that can't feel good.

Why do you think the text was a drunk one, has she got a drink issue going on?

Original poster
strawberrylion · 17/02/2011 18:41

What did I start!! Grin

Thanks for that...yeah the hens were 1 x general + 1 x work (bridesmaids at both) just felt like she should've mentioned it? I probably said 'good weekend?' and she never said oh yeah I had a hen night with work people!?

Guess I have to find time to talk to her...next 'event' is my 30th and don't wanna bring it up then and ruin it!!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 17/02/2011 18:43

yes, I wonder if it's soenmthing like that
did the other BMs go to the 2nd hen night?

Maybe she didn't want you to feel pressured to spend money for both - though she could have asked you!

Original poster
strawberrylion · 17/02/2011 18:45

MummieHunnie we've been friends for over ten years...and the text was new years eve! I text her the next day and said do you want to meet up soon and she just said yeah we'll sort something soon...I'd like to think I was being a friend rather than a mug but day after wedding was left feeling like a doormat...and I didn't want it festering for 6months and ruining our friendship! Good to hear it from others pov though Smile

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 17/02/2011 18:48

Well I confess I skimmed most of page 1 and 2, skipped 3-16 inclusive, then skim read 17-20 and read this one properly. I have to say I think you need to talk to her WinkGrin

StealthPolarBear · 17/02/2011 18:49

Chaotic if you can't be bothered to read the whole thread then just don't post, please. Time waster.
Wink

ThreIsNoSpoon · 17/02/2011 18:49

LOL I opened this and wondered how it got to over 500 posts in 20 mins!