To not want my DDs around this kd?

[Teenybitsad]

DH has a daughter from a previous relationship...we only knew about her 2 years ago as the Mother had got pregnant after a fling with DH before I knew him...then she went bck to her home abroad without telling DH about the baby and passed the baby off as her fiance's.

Two years ago we were contacted and told about DHs DD. Fine. We dealt with it...we dont see them as they live on the other side f the world but DH has gone over once to meet his DD and they Skype etc.

His DD hs a half brother who lives with his Father...this child goes home to his Mum (my DHs ex fling) every other weekend ass he lives with his Dad full time.

He just told an horrible sexist and violet joke to my DH on Skype and DH said something like "Jokes like that aren't funny dude"

And the lad just laughed hysterically..he's 11. I said something after the call ended... that I wouldn't want my two DDs around him...his Mother allowed his Father to take him because she couldn't manage him DESPITE the fact that the man is guilty of domestic violence....

My DH then shouted at me for judging this woman for allowing her son to live with a violent man and for my saying my DDs will not be mixing with him. Why should they? He's not their brother....I have no problem at all with my DDs half sister....she struggles in some ways naturally...she only recently found out her Dad is someone else but she is a very nice girl...the joke was sickening and his Mother said NOTHING to tell him it was wrong.

Tbh I dont want my girls aroundd any of them apart from their half sister.

AIBU.

[sits back for flaming]

Why is your husband skyping with this kid anyway? Thought the girl was his?

if they are on the other side of the world, how is it ever going to happen anyway..

not worth worrying over really is it..

11 year olds like to try and shock...

Buch...well he is there this weekend and he jus joined in...their comp is in their living room....can't really say "Bugger off you you're not my son!"

Squeaky...it is an issue because there will come a time when we all meet...we're planning to go over in December.

I dont give crap if 11 year old's like to shock...I expect his Mother to tell him not to spout filth in fron of my 3 year old.

If he is living with his father who has been voilent towards women the child probably knows no better than sexist jokes. I feel for the kid. He has probably seen more in 11 years than most will ever see

Your dd's are not going to come to any harm because of spending a couple of weeks around this boy.

He is their sister's brother, whether you like it or not, they are linked. My ds's have the same with their Dad's daughters siblings (if that makes sense).

There is nothing you can do about it. I understand how you feel, I have thought the same, but the boy is a product of his upbringing, you should try and have a bit more sympathy for him instead of being so precious. I'm not surprised your dh got cross with you, you are being judgemental, and if you think your dd's will never say anything inappropriate, then you are wrong. There's nothing your dh can do about it anyway, what were you expecting?

Are you hoping he will cancel your family trip to see his dd or something?

And how do you know the mother didn't say anything after the conversation had ended? You don't.