to feel punished for going out

[Biscuitscoco]

I never go out anywhere anymore. I used to go out about once a fortnight for a drink after work, but never do any more.

Tonight however I went out after work to a works dinner thing. Was lovely. Lots of people I haven't seen for ages.

Got home at 10.30 couldn't find my key but thought people would still be up as only 10.30.

Rang bell. husband furious as was in bed. Let me in but left door swinging open and went back to bed.

Didn't actually want to go to bed at 10.30 so went to son's room to get spare duvet to get comfy on sofa. He refused to give it to me at first.

Feel really pissed off that I go out for rare night out. came home early. Not drunk. Made to feel like horrible person.

Am I being unreasonable?

Oh God .. I didn't even think of that. Feel a bit sick now as slept under it. Bloody boys!

Am never going out again. That will solve it all.

No, no, no. You must go out more. And later. And come home drrrrrunk. It's the only way.

But get a new duvet. And keep it out of sons room.

YABU
1 - ringing the doorbell simply because you can't be arsed to look in your handbag to find the key is plain rude. I am not surprised your DH was pissed off. That's annoying if you are just watching the TV.. If he was in bed as well it's very annoying

2 - waking your son up to forage around in his bedroom at 10.30 is also rude and inconsiderate. If you were cold you could have put the heating on, or worn your coat.

Stubbornhubby - yeah right! I am going to spend all night under a coat.

Also I had FORGOTTEN my key. It wasn't IN my handbag.

And it was 10.30 - one would reasonably suppose 2 adults are still wake (or one of them at least!).

But you seem determined to tell me off.

I like Chickens much better than you!

forgotten? for the first few posts it was 'couldn't find' and you said that you thought it would be OK to ring the bell as you didn't think they would be in bed. If you had forgotten you would have HAD to ring bell, whatever time it was.

I think you had your key but couldn't be arsed to look for it. ....

... well done Secret Squirrel! Report me to the Key Police.

However, unless you were hiding behind a bush in our front garden, I think you weren't there so your theory is just a load of rubbish isn't it?

Gosh is stubbornhubby actually your husband?

YANBU, 10.30 is not late, even if it was no need for your husband to be such a grump.

I hope you chastise your DS appropriately, remind him of how the roles will be reversed, if they aren't already.

I think you should make a point of going out regularly, it'll be good for you all .

I'd have been sniffy if you woke me up. And yes ideally I'd be asleep before 10.30 given the chance! Even more so if I'd actually been asleep. However I wouldn't have made a big drama out of it - was that what he was doing or was he just being grumpy and uncommunicative because he was still asleep?

Why did you want to sleep on the sofa?

I would be annoyed at having to get out of bed to let someone in because they couldn't be bothered to look for/remember their key, so YAB a bit U. Though it wouldn't be a huge issue for me, and to be fair you didn't expect him to be in bed so early.

I think your DH and your DS were completely unreasonable. Mainly because you've said you never go out. Of course, that may also be why they didn't have much patience. You need to get out more! But at least they apologised this morning for being grumpy.

10:30 is not late. Perhaps if you'd spotted you didn't have your key earlier, you could have texted to warn DH - but I still think having to let you in really isn't a big deal.

I have wobbled home much, much later than that although luckily I have always had my keys.

"couldn't find my key but thought people would still be up as only 10.30"

"10.30 is early to go to bed."

"Was bad I couldn't find key. But 10.30 very early ffs!"

"I expected them still to be up"

I think you DID have your key but couldn't find it. If it had been very late you'd have kept on looking ... but it was only 10.30 so you thought easier to get DH to let you in. unluckily for you he had gone to bed.

stubbornhubby, wtf? You certainly picked your nickname well...

Anywho, OP, YANBU. If I got home at 10.30 and woke someone up I'd be quite apologetic but I'd expect my DP to get over it pretty fast (like, before he'd opened the door), give me a quick kiss, and then toddle back to bed.

The son thing is just odd. I think Chickens' theory is correct! So keep the clean linen out of the dangerzone in future, eh

Count yourself lucky...the rare times I go out lately, I come home to find the front door double locked from the inside and wait hours (well, minutes) in the cold as DH is fast asleep in bed and can't hear the front door, and I end up waking one of the DC by calling their mobile or keeping hammering on the door (popular with neighbours). This has not been after 10.30 btw.

On nights I am home, DH NEVER goes to bed before midnight unless one of the DDs needs to be fetched late from a party in which case he has an early night

Agree with chickens, go out more, remember your key and roll home whenever you please. Your DH forgetting when you've planned to go out sounds very manipulative to me.
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