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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to resign at the end of my maternity leave?

20 replies

pastafantastic · 16/02/2011 16:48

Hi,

Looking for some ethical guidance seeing as my moral compass is wavering!

I've been on maternity leave for 4.5 months and have received 12 weeks half pay maternity leave during this time, the remainder being unpaid.

I am due to return to work in three weeks time.

My job is very demanding and I don't want to return as I don't think I can commit to the overtime and position of responsibility given that I have a baby.

I would like to give notice next week and then complete my 3 month notice period at work, but I feel guilty about this as I've been considering the possibility of not returning for a few months now.

Would this be wrong?

Is anyone else considering this - I can't be the only one!!

Thanks.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 16/02/2011 16:50

that amount of maternity pay doesnt sound correct for a start? how long have you been with the company?

CarolinaRua · 16/02/2011 16:50

Of course YANBU but check the company policy, you may have to hand back your pay

curlymama · 16/02/2011 16:51

I've heard of lots of people doing this, go for it if that's what you want to do. The only thing that may make you want to be careful is if you want to return to a simelar job in a few years and will want a glowing referance from them.

Original poster

pastafantastic · 16/02/2011 16:52

Hi Squaekytoy - thanks for reply. I live in the Channel Islands and the max mat leave here is 6 months, of which only 12 weeks is paid (half pay).

I've been with them for 2.5 years.

Caroline - nothing in the policy.

OP posts:

midnightexpress · 16/02/2011 16:53

No. Plenty of people (including me) don't return after their mat leave.

If it helps assuage your guilt, I went back to work after 10 months ML with DS1, by which time I was 20 weeks pg with ds2. I then took a year ML and then resigned.

In my defence, it was a v large company which is part of a mahoosive corporation, so I figured they could take the hit. I'd been working for about 20 years by then non-stop so hey.

lilyliz · 16/02/2011 16:53

did you take leave before the birth? I think if you are going to work the 3 months and put in your resignation when you start back then its ok ,would feel it a bit off if you just did not return at all.

LIZS · 16/02/2011 16:54

yanbu presumably you have officially said you are returning on a specific date now, but your timing sounds odd. You can take up to a year off on ml and could therefore give notice now and not go back at all, using accrued holiday if needs be. Or do you need to go back for 3 months so as not to repay any top up to smp ?

trixie123 · 16/02/2011 16:55

As others have said, you need to find out if you'd be required to pay back some or all of your pay (you might find you have to pay back the proportion that is above statutory mat pay) plus don't underestimate the reference issue. There are all sorts of ways to write a bad reference without actually saying anything directly bad.

Guacamole · 16/02/2011 16:57

I've considered this... But have decided to return to work for a month at first, see how DS gets on in nursery, if it's not working I'll hand my notice in then and do the 3 months notice. I think 'in the current economical climate' (get me I sound like a politician) it's risky, who knows what the futurehilds and if DH gets made redundant or anything we would be in a right mess.

FabbyChic · 16/02/2011 16:57

The OP has said it works differently where she is. So advising her of how it works here is not going to help her. Only she will know how it works.

bellaella16 · 16/02/2011 16:58

if it is just the overtime and demands you are entitled to ask for a more flexible work set up. The company is not obliged to give it but they must consider it. Perhaps 3 days a week, nursies and childminders are used to this and it just needs someone else to want the other 2 days. Hint, if you are going for this, try wed thurs friday as this is when most places are available.

Most companies will will want good people back rather than find new permanent staff. If that still doesn't work out in practice, you can still leave later and this way you are still keeping your options open. Good luck!

And if you decide to resign, YANBU. No one knows exactly how they are going to feel until after they have their babies :)

pumperspumpkin · 16/02/2011 17:04

You're doing nothing wrong. You are entitled to work out your notice, and even if they get a bit pissed off neither you nor they have a time machine to go back to when you first thought about it and tell them then. Better to tell them if you don't want to work.

Personally though given you've got all the hassle of finding childcare anyway I'd be tempted to either a) offer not to return at all and leave on short notice; or b) not say anything at the moment, and see how it goes. You might find you actually enjoy being back and then you'll have lost the opportunity to stay on anyway and it's only a couple of weeks' difference.

Original poster

pastafantastic · 16/02/2011 17:07

Thanks for replies.

Should have explained more about Channel Islands - slightly different from the UK as no requirement to pay mat leave (Company policy only), no right to request flexi / PT working and nurseries only open until 5:15.

My job is reasonably senior and my employer felt that I would need to work full time to meet my workload, a fair point.

My husband also works in a pressured job and we are concerned that our baby will be passed around childminders like a hot potato...certainly not fair on him or us.

I want to move into a less demanding job as I need to be a working mother, but my oh my....THE GUILT of resigning at this point. I feel like I'm taking advantage of my employer.

All good advice so far, thank you!

OP posts:

TheseThingsAreGoodThings · 16/02/2011 17:32

Could you ask them if there was another role in the organisation youcould do on a PT basis.

Presumeably you have plenty of knowledge that would be valuable to them.

theoffsiderule · 16/02/2011 17:40

OP, YANBU. I too have a v demanding and unpredictable (hours and travel-wise, especially) job that makes childcare a nanny-only situation, which we can't afford.

I have a 3 month notice period and will be resigning next week as that will take me up to the end of my AML (due to return end May, SML finishes next week).

I work for a decent-sized company; the mat policy states that if we return, we get a bonus payment after 3 months have elapsed to top up the remainder of the SML. I don't see anything about having to pay back the "top up" that they gave at the start of mat leave and I will be screwed if I have to pay that back!

I'm looking for a job too that will provide more stable hours and make childcare manageable.

wannaBe · 16/02/2011 17:42

I went on mat leave with the intention of never going back.

After my initial six months mat leave (for which I was on full pay) I took six months AML, and then a two year career break. In fairness I reached a point when I did consider going back, but they couldn't give me the hours I wanted and so I resigned.

From their pov I could have been required to either pay back the sum of mat leave I was paid, or work a month's notice, but as it happened they didn't enforce either.

SweetKate · 16/02/2011 17:55

I resigned whilst on maternity leave last year. Only gave 2 months not 3 as required under my contract. Didn't go back to work at all. I had been working there for 10 years and been a bl**dy good employee (if I can say so myself). Again, big corporation and so felt that they could take the hit. But, one month after I resigned (so still an employee) the bonuses paid out and I still got one!!! Genuinely didn't think I was going to get one at all so didn't hang around to see if I got a bonus and resigned. But got one anyway! Also didn't have to pay back the enhanced maternity pay. Result alround.

But back to the OP. Only you know if it is the right thing to do. Would they want you to go back to work to do your notice of would they just pay you out? Some companies might find that less distruptive than having to reintergrate you into the company just for you to go again.

Is Jersey big enough that you could find another job easily? I found that returning to work after my DS was relatively easy but found it difficult when he was in school and couldn't get childcare. Could you go back and see how it worked and then resigned? Ie don't burn your bridges in case you enjoy it!! You might just be suffering return to work nerves and it might be better than you expected when you are actually there.

BuzzLiteBeer · 16/02/2011 18:13

I resigned at the end of my maternity leave, and I got a full pay top up for 6 months. I would have felt bad if they hadn't been utter cunts to work for.

SuchProspects · 16/02/2011 18:22

pasta - You aren't taking advantage of your employer. You are facing up to the reality they have not built flexibility into their working culture so it is not looking reasonable to remain working for them.

Employers need to create working cultures that support people who have families positions if most of them are going to be able to return to work and have a reasonable family life. They wouldn't have "wasted" the maternity pay if they had paid attention to the fact they then need you back working as a mother.

BikeRunSki · 16/02/2011 18:25

If you resign now, then they would be in a managerial position to continue the maternity cover they have for you (pretty much make it permanent).

If you go back to work and then resign a few weeks in, then they have to start again with replacing you.

As a manager and a mum, I'd resign now.

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