to write a slightly annoyed note to the teacher?

[PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid]

Firstly, I know this is incredibly trivial, but I feel like writing a bit of a snarky note, and thought I'd get a second opinion first before I piss of the teacher..

DD 8 has home/class spellings to do each week, which she fills out all at once when we remember each night Mon - Thurs, followed by a class test on Fri. The list of words is in a column on the left of the page, then each day is a column across the page. The instruction is to look briefly at the word, then write it in the appropriate box. So that DD doesn't just copy them, I cut the word column off with scissors so I can read them out to her. The first time we did this I just put the two pieces back in her book bag, but the teacher told DD that we shouldn't cut up the sheet. So now every week I sellotape the sheet back together.

This week I forgot to sellotape it, and when DD handed in the two pieces of paper, the teacher said "You're not allowed to do that" and threw the spellings straight in the bin. DD tried to explain but the teacher said "You have no right to do that".

Is it really such a big deal that I've cut the word column off that she would throw DD's homework in the bin in front of her? She can still see what the words are as they're written there four times. Is it that I am desecrating sacred school spelling sheets? I'd have thought she'd be glad that I'm taking enough of an interest to read them out to her rather than her just copy them.

It just seems a bit mean to chuck something straight in the bin that DD's spent time and effort doing. AIBU to write her a note to that effect?

Peering, I'd talk to the teacher. It is really unpleasant for your DD to see that happen, not to mention the other children must've seen it.

Reminds me of a psychopathic old-fashioned teacher I had in middle school who told the class some particular format she wanted the essays to be in. I was absent the day she told everyone and when I turned my essay in with the wrong header, she made me copy it out, by hand, every night, with different variations, until I hit on the right one. She refused to tell me what she actually wanted and forbade the other children to tell me.

Now THERE'S a frustrated tax official, eh.

I would (and do, for even lesser issues) email the head teacher and say that this is not ( in your opinion ) appropriate behaviour for a teacher.
I have emailed on similar matters before and got supportive responses, I also email positive stuff too.
UADNBU

You are spending the time helping your daughter and that's what matters. The teacher sounds unbelievably petty but you have to remember they manage children over whom they have unasailable authority; they are not used to negotiating with adults. I wouldn't stoop to writing a note tbh - I'd save it for a really important event such as bullying that she doesn't deal with effectively. Unless your daughter was upset I'd leave well alone.

I agree with the people who say you should speak to the teacher in person. Maybe explain why you cut it in half and ask if it wouldn't be too much trouble to have two copies in future.

If/when you raise the bin incident, if you can phrase your concerns in terms of how it made your DD feel (cliche but it works) that may make more of an impact that if you ask her about it in an accusatory tone.

We use a separate book for dd to her spellings in. I write them on the left, she copies them 2/3 times. Then she only looks at them once & is then tested for a week on the spelling. Either writing it or saying out loud.

I rip off the right half of the page, she does her 'test' (at home) on that & I then staple it to the book or send it to school with her, depending on if the teacher req it. I don't see the need to cut a page out of her school book/cut up the spellings sheet!

Thanks for that Penguin - I've just had a read and a look around the site. I can see how the method can be useful from reading that. However many times you look at it though, you still have to make the leap to being able to spell it without looking first, so I feel like I'm just giving her more practice at the next step, IYSWIM. If she doesn't get the word on the first or second attempt, I show it to her anyway. That website is very useful though.

at your horrible teacher RevoltingPeasant!

Thanks to everyone for your replies and opinions - much appreciated.

I don't think she should have thrown it in the bin infront of your dd either

I do agree that it was mean, but what is the quickest way to give someone a message when you have repeatedly asked them not to do something? Short sharp shock!

OK, so upsetting the child isn't great, but now her mum has got the point the teacher wanted her to get do not cut the spelling sheets. So you could say mum is as much to blame as the teacher, for her daughter being upset.

It doesn't matter why the teacher doesn't want the cut, she just doesn't! She has said they shouldn't be cut, but they continue to come into school cut. Frustrating when someone doesn't listen!

So the authority of a teacher is beyond question? I take a similar approach with my toddler when I'm at my wit's end, but I wouldn't like a teacher to take it with an 8 year old.

it's really different strokes for different folks - for some children, the visual of seeing the word works. For others, it is hearing a word and sounding it out phonetically.

Personally, I can't see what a note would achieve. I would make the time to talk to the teacher - call if you can't get in, to let her know you are confused by her actions and stress that your way of doing things is to her your child too. It's working together.

No it isn't, fenner. But neither is the mother's. She continued to cut up school property, when asked not to. There is no need to do this to achieve the results (i.e getting child to learn words)

oh, bless you lot, i had to go out, but have just spat tea all over the keyboard at the miss petty/ miss snippy responses.

hope it's all sorted with ms petty tomorrow. i'm far too scared of miss snippy to go anywhere near the classroom!

I think it's quite bizarre to have cut the sheets. Sort of "the rules don't apply to me" though I know that's not your intention. But they aren't supposed to be cut, so you shouldn't have cut them.

BUT the teacher crossed a line throwing it in the bin, I think.

In future I'd let DD do the homework as she is supposed to - LOOK first and then write. You could always then (on Thursday night/Friday morning) take the sheet, and use it to read out the spellings while she writes them elsewhere - then she still gets a chance to do it without copying.

I think the teacher is bloody lucky to have a parent who is so interested in them doing homework and helping at home. ( ex teacher)

It is unreasonable of the teacher to behave like that. It is not motivating and it was probably humiliating. Children feel these things deeply. Do have a quiet word either with the teacher or with the head. I would suggest the teacher first. ( It may just have been a bad day, but the teachers behaviour was unacceptble)

Peering, I'm not surprised you're finding the virtual notes cathartic (allowing me to find them amusing!) as I've just remembered this is a valid method used in therapy! You write a completely honest letter to someone you feel 'aggrieved' by ... you just need to try to remember not to post it due to the complete honesty bit! x

Ok - update....

I went to see the teacher after school today and said that DD had told me that she (Ms Snippy) had thrown her spellings in the bin last week. She agreed that she had, because she had told DD several times that the sheets shouldn't be cut up and taped back together. I asked whether DD had told her that it was me cutting the sheets, to which she replied that DD had. I told her that DD had not told me that Ms S had told her not to do this, and that I had assumed that if they were taped back together, that this was fine. I told her that if she had a problem with any of my actions in future, that I want her to take it up with me directly and not expect an eight year old to relay messages. I told her that DD felt humiliated and upset by having her homework put straight in the bin.

Ms Snippy told me that she had not meant her action to be malicious or unkind, and that all the spelling sheets go in the bin after marking (I said I felt that wasn't quite the point, but refrained from saying "Well then why the bloody hell does it matter whether I cut them up then??" ). She said that she feels DD should have relayed her comments to me, and that by cutting up the sheet and reading them out to her, I was not supporting the teaching method used. I pointed out that I had no idea what the teaching method used was, as there are no instructions on the sheet. I also mentioned that I think that school-home communication leaves a bit to be desired. Ms S said that I'm always welcome to come in and discuss any problems, to which I said that I hadn't realised that there was a problem until the spellings went in the bin. We then discussed the teaching method and Ms Snippy showed me how it's done, for which I was grateful. She said that she hadn't intended to upset DD, and I said that I hadn't intended to inconvenience her by cutting up the sheet. We agreed that it was good that I'd come in to talk to her about it.

So, storm in a over.. Thanks for all your replies and advice.

jenniec I've only just seen your letter to Ms Snippy! Glad to hear all the virtual correspondence make you spit your . You're right nowittyname - it was so therapeutic that I might write some more to other people.

Oh, and at differentname referring to a sheet of paper as 'school property'.

You handled it well! :)

...just remember not to post any of them!!...