To think that they like this parenting style when it suits them

[littlebylittle]

Not sure how to put this but am frustrated by some people I know who have parenting style akin in some ways to misunderstood unconditional parenting in some ways, very discursive much discussion of how ds feels, led by his "needs" so sleeps very late, not told off when hits someone , rather the hit child gets an explanation of why the ds needed to hit. Very critical of the ills of society, home eds and openly critical of schools and anyone's choice to send a child there. Anti praise, anti rewards anti punishment. Then... Had detailed description of just how b...dy marvellous ds is, his strengths, how well he's done in so few swimming lessons etc etc. So how does this all fit together? I feel he doesn't like anyone and this 'parenting style' is just a mask for not being able to fit in somewhere. Aibu to feel frustrated by this? I guess so- should just leave them to it but hard cos on same street and ds likes to play on street. I come away from five mins with this bloke deflated by his negativity and blaming everyone else and cross with his approach to childrearing and how it would be if everyone took their approach. This is incoherent but god I can't bear him!!!

well, maybe he can't stand you either

I don't understand why you are so upset about people making different choices from you. Every parent finds their own style and follows their own instincts. It wouldn't be great if everyone did things the same way as you either.

i wou;d entertain myself by pointing out faults all the time...take something from the situation

i'm wondering if i know this person!? Home ed, very hitty, non disciplined child, extreem diet, isloated. I just accept them for who they are but try to limit the amount of contact as they are such hard work. Have you tried being overly positive when faced with such negativity?

I bet there's more than one, sky blue! Honestly, mostly I live and let live and just avoid seeing them too much. Think the contradictions and inconsistencies got to me today and I know that part of my problem is I know I feel guilty for letting dd be the hit one for a long time. Each to their own and I am absurdly sure he doesn't like me- not just because he doesn't seem to like anyone all that much. Goodness knows I wish my parenting was perfect , well thought out and consistent. I just hope others don't get caught in the cross fire- I am only aiming to mess my own children up!!!

Well, if your child is being hit then I think you need to take action. And if he whinges to you about school etc, then I'd argue back rather than stand quietly while he rants. But if it doesn't affect you, then leave him to it, people are all different and you don't have to think his way of parenting has any merit.

maybe OP is upset by these other parents'choice of reprimantin her children when theirs hit them, instead of stopping it happening.
Should the other children stop playing in the street then because their precious little darling needs to hit??!

xposted OP

I used to know someone exactly like this! (A woman so not the same person). We fell out when I demanded that her DS apologise to my Ds after hitting him for the millionth time - she called me a bully - we are no longer friends! but she was exactly the same, anti social, into home edding etc.

Twilight, in the summer I do feel it's a case of let my child play in street and get hit or keep her in. Or go to the park. Which tests my tolerance tbh. Much easier in the winter.