Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want DH's boss to stay overnight

33 replies

KnitterNotTwitter · 15/02/2011 14:03

DH's boss works in Scotland and we're in London. DH suggested that we invite the boss over for dinner one evening when he's down here. I have no problem with this.

He then said that he'd get the boss to cancel his hotel reservation so he could stay over with us.... We don't have a spare room.... so I sweetly enquired as to where exactly he was thinking that the boss would sleep...

Apparently 'our room' or 'DS's room'. Personally I think that's seriously weird - to invite your boss to sleep in your own bed and turf your (pregnant) DW onto the sofa.

Particularly when the company will quite happily pay for a hotel.

DH was v. grumpy when I said 'no' and accused me of Being Unreasonable. So AIBU?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 15/02/2011 14:04

yanbu

the boss would feel obliged to stay when really he would rather fart and snore in his own bed

soggybottomflancase · 15/02/2011 14:05

Like Laurie says, you're all abit old for sleepovers.

Condensedmilkaddict · 15/02/2011 14:06

Yanbu!

strandednomore · 15/02/2011 14:06

No YANBU. Even if you had a whole household of spare rooms you should not be obligated to put your dh's boss up - or even do dinner if you don't want to. Your dh works for him - not you.

And I talk from the experience of someone who has wined and dined (and bedded - er, not in that sense) many of my dh's bosses and colleagues. But it was my choice and I didn't mind doing it - they were good company, we had the room and I also had someone to help with the cooking.

lucykate · 15/02/2011 14:06

yanbu. it would be weird. we have colleagues of dh's stay over often, but always in the spare room. it's ok to give up your own bed for family/close friends but not someone who you need to remain professional with.

CameronCook · 15/02/2011 14:06

Am sure the boss would prefer hotel - its not like you're saving him a taxi fare or anything as presumably it would be on expenses anyway.

ashamedandconfused · 15/02/2011 14:06

meal - no prob
stay in spare room - ok
sleep in family bed - NO WAY!!

chopchopbusybusy · 15/02/2011 14:07

YANBU. If you had a spare room it might be OK, although I still wouldn't be keen.

Serendippy · 15/02/2011 14:08

I bet your DH's boss would be mortified when he turned up and realised you didn't have a spare room and that his presence was causing a heavily pregnant woman to sleep on the sofa in her own house. Please don't let your DH embarass his boss by putting him in this situation.

YANBU.

cestlavielife · 15/02/2011 14:08

unless you have a vast manssion with a suite of guest rooms - (or even jsut one set guest room with ensuite)

or the boss is your DH's direct relative in a family business -

then no. dont do it.

Plumm · 15/02/2011 14:10

YANBU, the boss won't want to turf anyone out of their bed.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/02/2011 14:10

Bloody hell, YANBU!

The boss is going to be so embarrassed, and then your DH will be too. What a nightmare.
Can you tell him to get his boss to re-book his hotel?

scurryfunge · 15/02/2011 14:11

My DH does this. He travels quite a bit and because he hates hotels, he assumes everyone else does.

When he has visitors at work from abroad he is always wanting to put them up in our home.

I love the socialising and cooking for people but put my foot down when it came to staying overnight.

fedupofnamechanging · 15/02/2011 14:11

Giving up your own bed for your boss looks like creeping to me. Dinner is fine, staying over, not so.

EleanorJosie · 15/02/2011 14:11

YANBU

If I was the Boss I'd rather stay in a hotel, dinner is nice but it's better to then go back and have your own space.

solooovely · 15/02/2011 14:12

YANBU! The boss would probably rather a hotel as well.

How uncomfortable would that be . . . the boss coming down in the morning and there you are in your pyjamas (or whatever), morning breath, looking like shit(well I do in the morning. Awkward, awkward, awkward.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/02/2011 14:12

Oh he hasn't cancelled it yet? Phew.

Show your DH this thread, seriously. It would be a potentially career-damaging level of overstepping the boundaries.

rowrowrowyourboat · 15/02/2011 14:13

YANBU if you had a spare room or they were good friends that's one thing but this is weird. And like Serendippy said the boss would be mortified.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 15/02/2011 14:14

I don't think the boss will be as impressed as your husband thinks he will be with the offer of your marital bed for the night while you bed down on the sofa.

If you had a spare room then maybe.

It smacks of trying to cosy up to the boss - oohhh sir, sir, come and stay at my house.

No. a meal is fine, borrowing your bed for the night is not.

Your husband will not get his promotion / raise / pat on the head like this Grin

Deliaskis · 15/02/2011 14:14

YANBU, 'twould be v weird.

It would be understandable if boss was really in a bind, nowhere to suitable to stay etc. (e.g thinking of when there was all that snow before Christmas) and you were in a position to help him in his 'hour off need', but to choose to do this when he has a perfectly good hotel reservation that he would probably rather use, and it's costing him nothing.

Also agree with Serendippy et al that the boss will be mortified when he realises he is turfing (heavily pregnant) DW of colleague out of bed. It will be embarassing for all concerned, and he will probably spend half the dinner on his blackberry trying to re-book his hotel and get out of the mortifying situation.

D

BusyMissIzzy · 15/02/2011 14:14

YANBU, how strange of your DH.

amberleaf · 15/02/2011 14:16

Where will your DH sleep if you are on the sofa?

strandednomore · 15/02/2011 14:20

Please don't tell me your dh intends to share the double bed with his boss?

vanimal · 15/02/2011 14:21

YANBU. Would imagine his boss would be horrified at turfing a pregnant woman out of her bed, and would probably offer to sleep on the sofa instead.

In which case you are doing him no favours at all, as he would probably prefer a hotel bed to a sofa.

Blatherskite · 15/02/2011 14:24

If I were the boss I'd be mortified at the thought of sleeping in the marital bed. Would be weird doing this with friends, would never do it with collegues!!

Dinner so he doesn't have to spend the night eating alone - fine, but sleeping over when there is a perfectly adequate and paud for hotel room available is one step too far.