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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider reporting my friend to the RSPCA?

20 replies

Tryharder · 14/02/2011 23:24

It's been preying on my mind, this one.

My friend got a dog a year or so back. It's a very large, hairy breed. She got it because her kids wanted a dog and promised to look after it (you know what's coming, don't you?). When they got it, it was a cute little fluffball...

Now, however, it's a great massive out of control teenager who has never been trained. They can't walk it as it pulls them over. They can't let it in the house with people as it bounds up and knocks them over! It lives in the garden when it's not pissing down with rain otherwise it sits in the porch or in the kitchen. The kids- predictably - have long since lost interest. It's on its own most of the time because everyone is out at school/work and even when they're there, it's kept in another room to the rest of the family.

It's a lovely dog and although I am not a dog lover, I want to cry when I see it because it's begging for love and attention and now is mostly ignored. AFAIK, it's fed and has some exercise because they have a reasonable sized garden.

What would you suggest? I know I would be unreasonable to report my friend to the RSPCA and the RSCPA would probably tell me to butt out anyway because the dog isn't being mistreated as such, just not looked after as it should be. I have dropped hints to my friend to no avail and I told her son that he should walk it - he just looked a bit sheepish. I don't think my friend actually thinks she is doing anything wrong....

OP posts:

DaphneHeartsFred · 14/02/2011 23:26

I'm sure you can contact them for advice. Your friend might consider rehoming him if she new where he was going. Can you find someone who wants a big nutty dog?

NinjaCuckoo · 14/02/2011 23:31

The RSPCA will not get involved as long as basic needs are being met (food, exercise, vetinary care etc).

Losing interest in an animal is a damn shame and makes my blood boil, but it's not a crime

Lovesdogsandcats · 14/02/2011 23:42

I wonder how many dog owners also keep their dogs in this mentally abusive way? Lets face it, this is mental abuse. Dogs are social pack animals- its disgusting they shut this poor dog in a different room even while they are in the house. Why have they still got the dog- its one thing changing their mind and realising they cant offer the dog the home it needs, its quite another to keep hold of the dog and prevent it from being found a loving home. I would tell her your concerns and ask her if you can do something about it like a re homing sanctuary. If she falls out with you- well, who wants to be friends with someone with no feelings for her own dog?

Amieesmum · 14/02/2011 23:42

Grrr thats what happened to my pup, owners got her from a re-homing center who didn't background check them. Couldn't be bothered with the basics of dog care. I saw her, felt so sorry for her begged them to let me take her off their hands, poor little mite looked at me bemused the first time i put a lead on her. She'd been fed the wrong kind of diet, and no manners at all.
She's now my lovely friendly waggy tailed lap mutt. (currently snuggled up on the pillow next to me) Just found out they have bought a frigging puppy, so guessing that will come my way in due course too.

It's a shame but i doubt the RSPCA would get involved, the dog is not at risk. Could you try gentle persuasion to re-home the dog?

Really upsets me when people buy pets for "their kids" without being prepared to do the work them-selfs.

BluddyMoFo · 14/02/2011 23:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katey1010 · 15/02/2011 01:52

I know you don't like dogs particularly but could you or a family member 'borrow' the dog for walks? My Mum used to do this for a dog she felt sorry for. Got her fit too

DizzyKipper · 15/02/2011 08:38

Well firstly I would have a serious discussion with the friend and make sure she knew full well that she was doing something wrong. If she didn't change her ways I would then offer to take the dog myself, or to help find an appropriate new home for it. I know you've said you're not a dog lover (part of me is wondering if you'd become one if you took on this dog ) but do you have any friends who are? A dog should not be left this way, it is cruel and mental agony for the dog.

jollyma · 15/02/2011 08:45

Might she have the finances to consider a professional dog walker? I use one twice a week so that my dog doesn't have to spend the whole day at home. Over the years i have used 2 different people, both were very experienced and have shared knowledge about training and other minor behavioural issues.

EauRouge · 15/02/2011 08:47

Are there any training classes near you that you could suggest to her? One of my neighbours has a dog kept in a similar situation (never walked, barks all day etc) and we spoke to the RSPCA but they said there was nothing they could do.

MissyMorrison87 · 15/02/2011 08:56

This bugs me. People don't seem to get that if UPI buy your kids a puppy or ANY animal forthat matter that they will gave to look after it. Of course your 7yo isn't going to be able to walk a great big strong dog, ot take it to the vet or provide it with food! WHY DON'T THEY GET IT???

Bogeyface · 15/02/2011 09:01

You could try but its probably not worth it.

My next door neighbours got a dog and, the same as yours, is now massive and although friendly is bloody miserable. Its a German Shepherd and needs alot of exercise. It is never walked and they have a teeny tiny garden so it doesnt even get any exercise there. Its treated much like yours (infact if it werent for the garden I would be wondering if it was the same dog), kept on its own or in the yard etc.

I called the RSPCA in the end and they wouldnt get involved because its basic needs were taken care of. Personally I think that exercise is abasic need too, but apparantly not. It worries me as an animal of that size in a house with small children could flip out eventually, and really who could blame it if it did. But you bet your ass that they would blame the dog if it did and not their own shoddy care of it.....:(

TheEvilDead2 · 15/02/2011 09:05

Steal it. Seriously, and then find it a new home if it hasn't been chipped. But only as a last resprt if after talking to her she won't do anything about it.

Sarsaparilllla · 15/02/2011 09:59

I don't think the RSPCA will do anything, it's fed and housed and not ill treated by being harmed physically, it's a shame the dog isn't looked after as well as it could be but I don't think they'd be able to do anything

Original poster

Tryharder · 15/02/2011 11:11

Thanks. I am going to suggest training classes and bite the bullet a bit more and tell her she's cruel if she doesn't sort it out - if she's offended, tough. I couldn't walk it myself because we live in a different town miles away. It would be fine if it were a bit more manageable then at least it could coexist with the family a bit better. Am really with my friend though - I knew this would happen as soon as she mentioned getting a dog. It cost an arm and leg to buy as well - pedigree - plus all the vets stuff. Why do people do it to themselves??

My neighbours have 2 large dogs as well in a tiny 3 bedroom cottage with matchbox garden but they are quite "doggy" people so dogs seem happy enough.

OP posts:

DooinMeCleanin · 15/02/2011 11:17

How high is their garden wall? Is it possible the dog could be tempted to 'escape' and get 'lost'?

I'd be having serious words if this was a friend of mine.

Space isn't the issue. My parents had two large breed dogs in a very small house. They were both very happy, loved and lived until well past their expected life span. They now have my sister and her soon to be humongus Lurcher puppy living there. Pup is well trained and walked twice a day. He has a sofa of his own .

pinkdragonfly · 15/02/2011 14:11

Poor dog, YANBU I would have to say something the dog cant speak for itself, it would be better for both parties if he or she was rehomed.I wish there were more caring people in the world like you. Please let us know how you get on,your friend may not realise how cruel it is to exclude a dog like that, Good Luck (smile)

pinkdragonfly · 15/02/2011 14:13

I meant

Vallhala · 15/02/2011 14:16

What theevildead and dooin said.

Arrange for him to "go missing" once you have identified a no-kill rescue which will take him on.

Lovecat · 15/02/2011 14:29

SIL reported her neighbours to the RSPCA for exactly that sort of treatment - dog was a lovely German Shepherd and once it got past puppyhood they stuck it in their minuscule grassless back garden and ignored it beyond throwing some food out at it. Poor thing went mental, eventually started chucking an abandoned half-brick about and then chasing after it to entertain himself. He was crying out for affection and would have made someone who cared about him a wonderful pet, but ended up being put to sleep because he smashed down the other neighbour's fence and went for her. SIL rang and rang the RSPCA over a year before that happened, but they didn't give a toss. :(

cuppatino · 15/02/2011 15:08

I will get flamed for this, but I'd ring the RSPCA and stretch the truth somewhat. Then I'd put a largish donation in their coffer to cover my guilt. With a bit of luck, them turning up will either buck her ideas up or they'll give her some advice, or she'll decide to rehome.
Some people are arseholes aren't they. Poor bastard dog

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