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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

valentine be not mine you are a swine

23 replies

Kitsichick · 14/02/2011 19:40

I bought my dh a flying lesson in a 4 seater plane for his present- he's been working really hard and I saved up-but I got so excited when the voucher arrived on Saturday I couldn't wait for The Day itself- I raced upstairs making 'vroomy' noises and asked him to guess what I had got him.

After he had wrongly guessed a lawnmower and a waste disposal unit- I gave him the voucher. He said 'oh wow..' but then went on to say' You just can't wait can you! Zero marks for presentation'. and went back to his bloody email.

AIBU to be totally crushed? And v pissed off? I know I should have waited for God's sake. I just got excited and wanted him to be happy over the w/end too as we have both had ill parents of late :(

OP posts:

xstitch · 14/02/2011 19:41

:( poor you YANBU.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/02/2011 19:42

:( horrible of him. rotten pig.

nikki1978 · 14/02/2011 19:43

That is very ungrateful of him. Was it being ill making him so moody?

compo · 14/02/2011 19:44

Jeez he sounds crap! What didhe give you today?

Original poster

Kitsichick · 14/02/2011 19:46

No, he isn't ill but his father is very, and so is mine- we are both stressed out driving 280 mile round trip evcery other day to see to them both.
PLUS he didn't get to go to a big conf in Barcelona that he always goes to every year as someone else was given the chance and he has been sulking about it. He loves work jollies. I am always so happy when I get a present I don't care if its wrapped or not! Even when his mother gave me perfume when we were dating and it was called 'Tramp'!:)

OP posts:

Original poster

Kitsichick · 14/02/2011 19:47

He gave me quite a lot of chocolate from Hotel Chocolat but has also encouraged me to re join weight watchers. A moxed message there! But I am eating the choc first:)

OP posts:

Olessaty · 14/02/2011 19:48

Next time I'd make him wait until the end of March so that my presentation was juuuuuust right.

MadamDeathstare · 14/02/2011 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkIceQueen · 14/02/2011 19:49

tell him if he can't be grateful, you will have the flying lesson yourself!

yogididabooboo · 14/02/2011 19:51

what a tosser

mamalovesmojitos · 14/02/2011 19:53

ungrateful pig!

twoistwiceasfun · 14/02/2011 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adversecamber · 14/02/2011 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouRmysunshine · 14/02/2011 20:20

Sorry, but your DH sounds like a vile pig. "zero marks for presentation" "encouringing me to rejoin weight watchers"

I would encourage him to fuck right off .

FreudianSlippery · 14/02/2011 20:24

Bizarre reaction from him.

Regardless of the current stress, is he always like this? Picking holes in everything?

BootyMum · 14/02/2011 20:35

Gosh, he sounds very passive aggressive...

I think he is actually being quite nasty in a non-confrontational sort of way. So you get the gist that he is having a go at you but it is hard to call him on it as he would play dumb and innocent and then really give you a hard time for being too sensitive or something... Is this right? If so, it reminds me of an ex-partner of mine.

Very frustrating sort of behaviour.

MadamDeathstare · 14/02/2011 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackeyedsusan · 14/02/2011 21:58

mds

Original poster

Kitsichick · 14/02/2011 22:00

Madamdeathstare you are v naughty:)))
I don't like heights or flying or yes I owuld use it myself.
BootyMum- I think passive/ aggressive is EXACTLY what he is being- because if I DO call him on it- he gets a wide eyed hurt face on him and says 'You can't think very much of me to think I'd be mean to you' Which is quite a hard statement to handle. Even harder is 'You haven't got a high opinion of me if you think I am criticising you'.
BUT HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME!"!!
I am not sure how to handle passive/aggression as I owuld rather have a good old shout and get it over with. But DH gets very quiet and bitter and then sulks which is REALLY BLOODY ANNOYING. However Madamdeathstare he doesn't need a willy extension- it is a saving grace!

OP posts:

Original poster

Kitsichick · 14/02/2011 22:02

Freadianslippery-he is becoming more and more like this as time goes on. I think it may be a family trait. Eeeekk

OP posts:

fedupofnamechanging · 14/02/2011 22:16

He sounds horrible Kitsichick. for you that he is being an arse. Think I would rather rip up the ticket than let him have it now. Can you get a refund?

twoistwiceasfun · 15/02/2011 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 15/02/2011 18:41

Oh dear Kitsichick he sounds absolutely horrible with the passive aggressive shit and the 'You haven't got a high opinion of me if you think I am criticising you' etc.

Do you ever call him on it when he says things like that - replying 'well actually when you undermine and criticise me with this controlling passive agressive crap, my opinion of you plummets ' or something similar?

I'd try to get a refund if someone reacted to such a fantastic gift like that; it's just churlish and mean-spirited (as is buying you chocolate then mentioning weightwatchers), whatever else upsetting stuff might be going on in his life.

Flip