Mumsnet Jury - help us decide.

[MarioandLuigi]

DH goes to Badminton on Monday night and has done for about 4 years.

I am hoping to apply to work after DD has started school and DS has settled into school (He has SN) - so about two years time.

I would like to do a couple of courses at our local FE college to help update my skills, but one runs on a monday night, which clashes with Badminton. I have looked everywhere else and its the only one running in this area, and as its a 36 week course it only runs once a year.

DH is annoyed that he will miss badminton, but my arguement is that he could do that anytime. I can understand why he is a bit miffed though.

AIBU? Should I not apply for the course and let him carry on, or is my future job prospects more important?

Your course is more important. He already has two gym sessions and a season ticket plus if you do this course it could improve your job prospects and help to ease the pressure off of him being the breadwinner.

From what you've said it's a course that takes place for 36 weeks over 1 year. He can put badminton on hold for that length of time. If he doesn't than frankly he's being selfish.

re-read what he does what you do.

Get him to look at it and then decide who gets the priority.

(it's you by the way incase he tries to guilt you)

I agree with the poster that said if he can afford the gym, badminton and a season ticket, he can afford a babysitter.

Agree with both posie and bleakofheart. Gym memberships are expensive, as are season tickets. Seems to me that he is getting everything and you nothing. As you are married to someone who sees no problem with this, I think you urgently need to get back in the workplace and make some money, so you can have some choices in life.

I'm a similar situation - a course I need to do for future work clashes with DH's table tennis on a Monday night. It's only for five weeks but DH is not happy and says that if he doesn't go the team might fold for lack of players... However, he has agreed to compromise

I agree with the majority of posters - your course should take precedence over his badminton. If he can't find a badminton club that meets on another day could he maybe try to find a football club or something?

Agree with pretty much everyone. You need to do the course.

Oh - I know you said that a new babysitter isn't ideal for your DS because of his SN but if the only person who can do it now is your MIL it might be a good idea to get him used to someone else anyway - you'll probably end up in a situation at some point where you really need a babysitter and your MIL isn't available. I know you said you couldn't afford a babysitter every week but could you maybe afford one every second week so your DH doesn't have to miss out on badminton completely?

I think that you NEED to do this course. If he ever leaves you, you will be left with the children (at least one with SN) and no decent job ir choices, unless you do something to make yourself decently employable. Or if he dies, or becomes chronically ill and unable to work. I know those aren't nice things to think about, but you need to prioritise your children's financial security over his additional sport and socialising.

i agree theprovincial.
being employable and able to work is far more beneficial to both OP and the family than her DH having a two hours of badminton a week.

Bollocks to that cat64 somethings are more worthy than others. One is him doing something nice for himself that he has done for years, the other is something that will help her (and therefore the family's) prospects.
If you really can't see the difference there I really can't help you.

And you seen rather oversensitive, nobody is angry and your concern for our real life relationships is rather bizarre.

'Yes' go for the Course - Financial benefits and education have to override sport.