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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To force my dh to buy me flowers

32 replies

Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:30

Every year I drop hints, every year he buys me cheap shit instead which outwardly I smile and and inwardly cringe at. Yes I sound ungrateful but ive made a hell of a lot of sacrifices for DH and he cant even get me something i'd like once a year. AIBU to say GET ME FLOWERS!!!

OP posts:
Hammy02 · 14/02/2011 13:31

Flowers are really over-priced on Valentines Day so I would rather my DP bought them out of the blue on other days and wasn't fleeced. Which he does. Gloat!

ClenchedBottom · 14/02/2011 13:32

OP - will you then enjoy them a lot, thrilled by the spontaneious nature of his gift?

ShatnersBassoon · 14/02/2011 13:32

Buy yourself some flowers. They wouldn't be any less romantic than a bouquet you'd forced you husband to buy.

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:32

Lucky you, mine never does. The tosspot deserves to be fleeced.

OP posts:
HettyAmaretti · 14/02/2011 13:33

YABU to not just buy exactly the flowers you want for yourself. Go and do it now instead of whingeing.

This whole valentines palaver seems to be the source of endless upset and hard feeling. I really don't know why people bother.

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:34

If I dont force him I wont get them so I may as well force him to get what I want rather than sit sulking and go without.

OP posts:
Sarsaparilllla · 14/02/2011 13:37

Buy some for yourself that you really like, what's the point of forcing him to buy you something, that totally defeats the point of a gift

AMumInScotland · 14/02/2011 13:37

And will you be happy, after you've forced him? Personally, I'd feel just as shit afterwards!

How about, instead of "dropping hints" you actually tell him calmly and plainly "I really love it when you buy me flowers. I'd be happy to get nothing else, if you just got me flowers"

Men aren't mind-readers, so as long as you smile outwardly and seethe inwardly, he's not going to understand what the problem is. Depending just how "inwardly" you manage to seethe, he may not even know there's a problem at all.

Ephiny · 14/02/2011 13:38

Buy yourself flowers if you want them. Or better still, go for a walk and look at the lovely snowdrops and crocuses springing up all over the place. I prefer seeing flowers in the ground personally!

HettyAmaretti · 14/02/2011 13:38

If you dislike him so much why are you in a relationship with him?

ShatnersBassoon · 14/02/2011 13:39

Yeah, because making your partner feel like shit is so much more satisfying than treating yourself to something you would really love. Confused

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:39

Oh dont be ridiculous who said I dislike him so much? I dislike his lack of splashing out on me, I cant help but admit.

OP posts:
ClenchedBottom · 14/02/2011 13:40

You sound very unhappy. This can't all be about flowers, surely?

tulpe · 14/02/2011 13:40

YABU

And I think you need to either do as AMumInScotland suggests and actually tell your DH that you would like flowers in advance of the day or, actually, grow up.

FFS. Yes it is Valentines day but as others have said everything becomes ridiculously expensive today. Funnily enough, I don't need some crappy Hallmark card and a bouquet on a generic "lurve fest" day to feel that DH loves me. Surely I'm not the only one?

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:41

Making him feel like shit? Perhaps he makes me feel like shit by making me feel im only worth a bag of junk from poundland when he KNOWS what I do like?

OP posts:
tulpe · 14/02/2011 13:43

Gemsy : present giving aside, how is he day to day? Is he helpful/kind/considerate? Do you feel loved in any other way (except for the present-giving way)

It's the day to day stuff that counts. Not what someone does or doesn't give you.

Ormirian · 14/02/2011 13:44

gemsy - I sympathise but at least he did get you something. I love flowers. I'd rather have them than anything else. But will DH buy them for me? Will he hell... And we've even had conversations about this when I tell him that I'd like HIM TO BUY ME FLOWERS! But it never happens. I think it's a point of principle now Grin

But they are stupidly expensive for Valentine's Day and quite narrow choice - unless you want red roses or pink carnations.

AMumInScotland · 14/02/2011 13:49

You said it yourself at the top though - he buys you "cheap shit" and you smile. Perhaps he thinks you like the stuff he buys? Perhaps he likes it? People have different ideas about what someone might like, and some people are not very good at picking presents. He may even have bought into "it's the thought that counts".

If you think he's crap to you in general, then you need a long think about why you're in a relationship with him. If it's just this one issue, then I think you need to cut him some slack.

mayorquimby · 14/02/2011 13:53

So what did you get him today?

FabbyChic · 14/02/2011 13:54

My god I hope he bought his other woman flowers, she might treat him better.

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:58

Wow very mature fabby. I treat him spectacularly well which is yet another reason I get so annoyed he doesnt make an effort with me.

OP posts:
Ephiny · 14/02/2011 13:59

Also I wonder how you'd feel about him trying to 'force' you to buy him something, especially something he could easily buy himself if he wanted to, do you not realise how weird that sounds?

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 13:59

And I got him aftershave, an iphone and a new digital camera.

OP posts:
BigBadMummy · 14/02/2011 14:00

How unromantic to tell somebody to buy you flowers.

What is the point?

Buy your own flowers!!

Be grateful you get anything

Original poster
Gemsy83 · 14/02/2011 14:01

Ephiny I truly believe thats the only way he's going to get it into his head that this is indeed what I want, not a collection if useless unliked junk year after year.

OP posts: