Parent's Evening...

[peppapighastakenovermylife]

According to playground chat and some friends I appear to be earning the medal for World's Worst Mother.

Next week is parent's evening. DS is 4. I expect it will be a quick chat about how he is settling in and getting on - in fact I hope it is about that as he is only 4.

For many different reasons we have decided that DH is going to go (Cannot take DC's and have no one to look after them anyway). He can tell me about it when he gets back.

People seem horrified by this. But how will I know what has been said? Am I not interested? Should I not arrange childcare for the other DC's?

He is DS's father. Plenty of the women who say this are going on their own without their partner.

Why does it make any difference if it is DH who is going? He is a grown man capable to listening to a conversation, asking any questions we have and telling me

Am I making some immortal error / sin by 'allowing' my husband to attend such an event? Last time I checked it was not 1950 and besides DH wants to go more than I do

Will keep my mouth shut next time or perhaps just tell them I can't be bothered

YANBU.
I don't go to them either and send DH.

Totally NOT unreasonable. I think he is admirable to want to be involved so much. Ignore everyone else and their stupid 'men cant be trusted' opinions - they can all bog off. You have a great partner who is wonderfully involved (mine is similarly good - hurrah for them!!)

My dad went to one of mine alone one year - he was so worried he would forget something important that he took along a little notepad and wrote everything down.

When I got older I used to email a spreadsheet to his blackberry with the different appointment times/rooms and little comments about the teachers and questions I wanted my parents to ask. He probably looked like one of those parents who can't leave the office behind for one day but my drama teacher was very impressed when she snuck off for a cup of tea and was late for their appointment and my dad came up and introduced himself. I said she'd be at the tea and biscuit table with a fluffy pen. She was. You could produce your own checklist - tying shoes, eating his lunch by himself, colouring neatly and ask the other mums if there's anything you've missed off the list of must ask questions?

Just tell them that you can't leave the house but it's ok, you'll be there by proxy and have DH conduct the whole thing with his mobile on speaker phone so you can join in (bonus points if there's wireless and you do it via Skype with the video in).

I am a teacher and we have loads of 'just' Dad's or 'Just' mums coming, in fact its more usual than not!
Dont worry we only need one of you :)

YANBU - if you have a sound and trusting relationship why on earth do two of you need to go. It's called the division of labour and in a mature relationship is the sensible thing to do.