IAU - annoyed friend visited and gave us puke bug

[PippiL]

Hands up, I know I am being unreasonable about this.

Friend visited this weekend after her DD2 had sick bug last week and was last sick on Fri night.

She made it hard for me to say no, even though I said didn't want to risk it as my DD has a hernia and I wouldn't want her wretching with it.

They arrived Sat aft. Had dinner. Then her DD1 puked at bed time. I moved my kids into my bed, and she decided to drive home as her DD1 was not showing signs of stopping puking and we were limited for bed space.

On sunday my DS was poorly and now sick this morning.

So I know I am being unreasonable because my DS could have got it elsewhere. And she couldn't really know that DD1 would get it.

But I am still cheesed off.

How did she make it hard to say no?

Text saying "she has been sick, but fine now, can we still come?"

I text back saying "prefer not as DD has hernia."

She texts saying "she happy running around soft play."

I say, "well if you think she fine, I guess it would be ok then."

My fault, should have said no. But was being polite and hoping she would say no.

She didn't really make hard for you to say no. You should have just told her you'd rather not risk it this time!

YANBU to feel annoyed but really you will have to clock this one down to you needing to be more firm so next time..

Text saying "she has been sick, but fine now, can we still come?"

I text back saying "prefer not as DD has hernia."

She texts saying "she happy running around soft play."

Text back: I would prefer not with DD's hernia are you free next weekend?"

BTW she is VERY unresonable for having taking a child whom was throwing up to a soft play area.

You should have texted back to say 'no, let's do it next weekend' (though she shouldn't have asked in the first place.)

Yanbu. Be more assertive next time.

I have a friend whose dc seem to have loads of stomach bugs and I have taken to asking her outright if anyone has puked in her family in the past week before agreeing to any kind of inter-family thing!

Hope you all feel better soon. And let her know that you have the bug too.

Fiar point, I really should grow some guts.

Agree about the softplay thing, I didn't really think about it at the time.

I strongly believe that if your children are poorly, you keep them off school etc for the prescribed amount of time.

I told pre-school DS was sick and so therefore won't be in for 48 hours, even though he is prob fine tomorrow. They have these rules for a reason, and he is probably infectious.

I feel bad about letting her know that we have the bug.

And actually I kinda feel like she could have asked already!

Tell her, she might think next time!

You should have said NO.

FGS, just 'No, DD has a hernia.'

She should never have come round - I always wait the standard 48hrs after with my children. It's really unfair on other people - I would have said no if she asked.

I was supposed to babysit my 15mo niece last weekend sat and Sunday but she had been sick a couple of times. Db said he thought it was because of flem making her sick and not a bug but I had to let them down as I can't risk my 5yo, 3yo and 5mo catching it if it is a bug. It's not fair on them.

I was annoyed he still asked what I thought to be honest as it put me on the spot and made me feel bad letting them down. If it were one of mine I would ring and say "don't worry about looking after dc1 this weekend as she is sick" and leave it at that. Not fair to put the ball in the other persons court!

I'd text her and 'warn' her to watch out that she and her DH may catch the bug as it seems very contagious as all of you have got it since their visit.

MrsPenny - yes she did use the "it was because she was coughing" line on me earlier.

I got criticised at Xmas because we were going to go to parents with sister and her family for a family do. I rang that morning to say DD was a bit off colour and didn't think it fair on them in case I spread something just before Xmas.

Then found out that sisters DD had been sick the night before ("but probably because she had eaten too much chocolate") FFS.

I got made to feel stupid cos she was "Really fine now".

Don't worry about it. It is exactly this sort of experience that helps most of us learn to say "no" when it comes to vomiting bugs. A certain proportion of mothers will swear blind their kids are fine as long as they haven't actually thrown up in the last hour (and when they get to school there is nothing you can do about them).