I'm sorry, honestly

[mum2all]

Ok, I know I got you here under false pretences and I'm sorry but my friend needs your advice and quickly.

It's long and I apologise if I skip bits.

Her husband has tried to commit suicide a couple of times this week and his behaviour has become increasingly erratic and aggressive. She has spoken to the police, doctors and psychiatric assessment unit at the local hospital but all are unwilling or unable to help unless he asks for it - one doctor even prescribed sleeping tablets, despite him trying to overdose??
As a result she fled to our house on Friday with her young DC. He phoned constantly throughout the night/early hours, leaving venomous messages when no one answered.
Flash forward to yesterday afternoon when he got drunk, attacked a friend (ripping his clothes), tried to kick in a shop window and then drew a knife and tried to 'stab' the same window cutting himself in the process. The shop owner called the police and he then barricaded himself in his parents home and had to be forcibly removed with his hands and feet cuffed.
He is in police custody and will be assessed before appearing in court on Monday but we cannot get a straight answer from anyone as to what will happpen next, or even what might happen.

I suppose our questions are:
What are the chances of him getting a custodial sentence? (police think it's likely)
What are the chances of him being sectioned?
What happens if he turns up at the house or comes for the DC?
Any advice at all?

We are in Scotland if that makes any difference.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

DId you start another thread with the exact same OP? Was the advice there not what you wanted to hear?

Have stuck a couple of threads in various places as I wasn't entirely sure where to put it.
I only put it in AIBU as it tends to be so busy and was hoping to get as much info/advice from as many different sources as possible in order to get a balanced view.

Sounds like he is sectionable, or he may accept going to psych ward as voluntary patient. Not sure if he will be sent to prison, they are likely to consider MH issues.

Your friend should contact the police if he attempts to see her or dc if she is worried. He sounds like he is desperate and desperate people do desperate things. She could get injunction perhaps?

What does your friend want to happen next?

probably sectionable, sorry its not a nice situation.

She might want to talk to Social Services if she is worried about MH impacting the DCs. They could do a risk assessment and it would make it more difficult if he "turns up at the house or comes for the DC".

He does sound sectionable in which case he will be taken to a hospital. It is very sad. SOrry your friend is aving this. If he is not sectioned and trie to return she will hve to call the police.

I don't know if the laws are different in Scotland? However I am rather surprised that posters are saying "he does sound sectionable" on such scant information. All that we know is that this man tried to commit suicide twice last week - what exactly did he do, and how serious was the attempt. We know nothing of whether this man has a psychiatric history.

It appears that he has been seen by a GP who gave him sleeping pills (possibly because he only complained of not being able to sleep!) Many people (especially men) though this is pure conjecture, do not tell their GP exactly what is going on, for all sorts of reasons.

There are many steps to be taken in cases of mental illness before anyone is sectioned under the terms of the Mental Health Act. He has to be deemed to be a danger to himself or others. We don't know if he is on medication. We don't know what led to this "increasingly aggressive behavior" - we don't know hwat precipitated this - is it to do with the r/ship maybe. Sounds like he certainly "lost the plot" with the criminal matters. There again he may be given bail and the case adjourned for pre-sentence reports, especially if there are mental health issues. I am not so sure he will get a custodial sentence - much will depend on his previous offending history (if there is one) - don't know how Scottish courts work but in other parts of the UK he would be brought before a magistrate initially who would in all probability refer it to Crown Court. His lawyer would undoubtedly ask for bail and the prosecution would probably oppose this and then it is for the magistrate to decide.

Sorry OP I am not getting at you for not giving all the details, but I am just trying to present a more realistic view of what is likely to happen. Even if he is sectioned, it can be for 28 days only and then he could be discharged, so your friend could still be in some danger from her H. Likewise IF he is given a custodial sentence it is likely to be relatively short I would have thought. I just think that posters are assuming he is going to be locked away somewhwere either in a hopsital ward or a prison for a very long time - I know no-one is saying that but that is the inference I am picking up.

I do hope that your friend and her children can be kept safe with you until more is known about what is going to happen with her husband.

I have been a sw (not in Scotland) for 30 years (now retired) though in childrens services but do know something of how the mental health system and the courts work.

God,

my DH tried to kill himself this week...:(

I wanted him sectioned but they wouldnt do it as he was talking about the future aparently...??? He is in a state but just really quiet

Your friends case sounds alot worse but just wanted to add support. Will be watching too to see if anyone has practical advice.

Thanks ladies. He does have a history of illness in that he has suffered from depression for some years and has reluctantly sought help at times. Neither my friend nor I believe he has really told the doctors what is happening for him and the psych unit told her last night that he presented as 'normal' (not sure how many of us they could say that about!) when they saw him earlier in the week. She had spoken to the GP and psych unit before his appointment to try to get some help but because he seems to be fairly calm when he sees them there has been very little to give them cause for concern.
His change in behaviour seems to stem from a minor car accident where he rear ended another car, scratches only and very minor damage but it seems to have been the straw that broke the camels back. As far as I know he has no criminal history.
My friend just wants him to get some help and for her and the DC to be safe.

Nananina - thanks in particular for your more true to life post, police were leading her to believe that when he appears in court today he could be locked up for months but this seemed unrealistic to me.

I'm afraid Im inclined to agree with Nananina on this. In the absence of any criminal history, the likelihood of a custodial sentence is rather slim although not unheard of. Has there been police involvement in the past? If so, your friend's best bet is to see a solicitor and seek an injunction to prevent him approaching her or her property, but this will be granted only if there is previous history of any criminal harrassment on his part. Also, it wont be enough to prevent contact with his DC's - alternative arrangements will be made for this, and will be dealt with by the courts as a seperate matter. Unfortunately, this can be fairly lengthy, and won't provide the immediate safety that your friend requires.

Sorry I cannot be any more optimistic. I think more information would be needed in order to form a more accurate picture. I'm really just surmising at the moment.

If you have the time and inclination, I'd be interested in the outcome.