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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think non-uniform days are a lazy and boring way of fundraising.

78 replies

create · 13/02/2011 15:19

DCs have to wear either pink or blue (for valentines?) on Monday to raise money for the local children's hospice. £1 charge for the privilege of wearing your own clothes.

They wore spots for Children in need and often have a free choice day at the end of term, also costing £1.

I don't get it. The DC aren't particularly bothered about wearing uniform or not (unless their friend's aren't of course).

I may of course be oversensitive as DH has been unemployed since Nov, so every £1 counts. I'm sure the argument will be that it raises children's awareness of those less fortunate etc, but does it really, as so little effort is involved?

OP posts:
A1980 · 13/02/2011 18:58

YABU

It is an easy and cheap way to raise funds. if you think £1 is expensive then how much cheaper do you think more imaginiative ways are? They are in many ways more expensive.

My friends DD is having a cake sale for charity with everyone obliged to contribute. My friend has just forked out several £'s for ingredients to make cupcakes, brownies, etc. Then her DD has to take pocket money in to buy their own cakes they've already paid for FFS.

Mufti day costs £1 and you don't have to buy anything for it as they wear their own clothes. For those who really can't afford £1, can you think fo a cheaper way to do something imaginative?

amberleaf · 13/02/2011 21:13

'For those who really can't afford £1, can you think fo a cheaper way to do something imaginative?.

Cheaper for who?

The people who cant afford to pay £1?

What would be nice is a no pressure approach but of course that would mean less funds being raised which is of course far more important than making a child feel embarrassed at not bringing in their £1 or makimng parents fret over losing a few quid out of tight budgets.

Catnao · 13/02/2011 21:30

Umm - I think I mentioned how, in my experience, people make it not embarrassing -unless you thought I really do count the money and single out the non -payers?

Catnao · 13/02/2011 21:31

I defy you to find a school that does single/point out non payers.

porcamiseria · 13/02/2011 21:32

YABU

I get annoyed sometimes by the hours and FAFF around bloody fundraising, I actually approve of a simple way to raisee money

all these fetes and things, cant be arsed

TrappedinSuburbia · 13/02/2011 21:36

Its not lazy, but I know how hard it is when your skint and you need to account for every penny.
I would send a wee note saying that you really can't afford any extra at the moment (maybe send what you can afford, 20p 50p so your child doesn't feel left out when putting the money in)
No school would object to you doing that.
My ds's school do put the money to good use, but they certainly wouldn't make anyone feel bad about not being able to afford it.

BuzzLiteBeer · 13/02/2011 21:37

Pay, don't pay, its fucking charity.

amberleaf · 13/02/2011 21:44

Catnao Im not implying that a teacher would make a fuss about a non payer [though i have to say i have actual experience of just that happening!] im talking about other children knowing who doesnt pay and making an issue of it.

Primary aged children are old enough to be aware of being poor and old enough to feel ashamed.

Onetoomanycornettos · 13/02/2011 21:49

Be like me, lose the letter mentioning it and then send your 5 year old in in their uniform when all are dressed in normal clothes. Even worse, I had actually walked her to school that day and failed to notice the other children weren't in uniform. In my defense, it was in the middle of winter. I had to deal with accusations that I am a rubbish mummy (true) as my poor daughter had to wear some itchy dress out of the dressing up box. In principle, it's a good non-time consuming idea, in practice it's one more thing to get wrong!

Suchffun · 13/02/2011 21:54

As a parent I like mufti days, so does DS. But I think the amount donated should be whatever anyone chooses to give.

poochela · 13/02/2011 21:54

'I don't really see why schools feel they need to raise money, unless there's educational value in it??????'

do you have a swinging rock where your heart should be woman??!?!?!

FunnysInTheGarden · 13/02/2011 21:58

YABU. I love that DS can go in his own clothes for a quid and I don't have to stress that his uniform is clean the night before.

NonnoMum · 13/02/2011 21:59

I think the OP should bake 50,00 cakes instead.

By tomorrow.

It's for charidee!

lospollos · 13/02/2011 22:04

kids get to not wear uniform for a day,

and money raised for a good cause,

I did this at school nver felt it to be a bad thing

piprabbit · 14/02/2011 09:22

Just dropped DD off at school in all her pink finery and have to report that excitement levels for all the children were through the roof. They definitely weren't bored. Grin.

GeneHuntsMistress · 14/02/2011 10:04

I am now ancient with my own DC but I still to thisday feel that stomach dropping dread of non-school uniform days. Having to go to school in dirty jumble sale clothes while everyone flaunted thelatest Chelsea Girl and Tammy fashions. The shame of not having the money to donate and the teachers turning a blind eye as my family was one of those who would benefit from the charity.

Sorry not contributing much there but you have touched a nerve. I agree with earlier poster regarding Blue Peter appeals and the opportunity for children to actually raise funds and awareness themselves instead of seemingly lazy charitable practices such as these.

scaryteacher · 14/02/2011 11:20

Having just popped two huge pans of corn to take in this lunchtime, and bought the cones for them to go in, and having to repeat the process on Wednesday, and make 3 traybakes (which ds volunteered me for), I wish ds's school had a uniform so they could have a non-uniform day. Effortless way to raise money!

FindingStuffToChuckOut · 14/02/2011 12:06

when I was at high school the "mufti" (non-uniform) days were a source of much excitement!

SE13Mummy · 14/02/2011 19:13

The school I teach at doesn't have a uniform but we still have 'non-uniform' days Hmm as money raisers - things like wearing spots for Children in Need, jeans for Genes Day etc. The note on the newsletter usually says 'please bring in a donation of £1 per family'... it means there's lots of scope for those who are unable/choose not to donate to say, "my brother brought our money in".

Have I, as a teacher, ever checked exactly which children have donated and which haven't? No, it's not part of my job and I do little more than say, "if your parents sent you with money for blah blah day" please pop it in the pot on my desk.

As a child in secondary school (primary had no uniform), I dreaded non-uniform day - I wasn't cool then and I'm certainly not cool now. I can just about cope with 'wear a blue hairclip for anti-bullying'. Anything more imaginative/revealing has me wishing I could wear school uniform Blush.

TheFallenMadonna · 14/02/2011 19:23

I teach in secondary in a deprived area. We do chase up non-payers. We always have a whole bunch of other things going on on non-uniform days - cake sales, talent shows, sponsored all sorts. We raise loads of money, mostly for a charity close to the hearts of many of our students, and it is a good thing IMO.

amberleaf · 14/02/2011 19:34

You do chase up non-payers? Shock

and you teach in a deprived area?

WhiteRose26 · 14/02/2011 19:49

YANBU. IMHO non-uniform days can be divisive. They separate the cool kids from the uncool ones. They separate the haves from the have-nots. The special costume/themed ones separate the ones with wonderfully creative mummies with time on their hands from those who have to spend time working just to afford the ordinary things. Uniform is a leveller.

The OP should not feel guilty about not being able to spare £1 - I would approach the school and explain the situation.

My kids' primary school used to (and still do) have non-uniform days when they request items to be sold at the summer fair - thus you can send in a tin of beans for the food tombola if that is all you can afford.

ellina · 14/02/2011 20:17

I think it's a good way to raise funds for the school. Our school doesn't monitor who pays or doesn't.

For a hospice, I think the donation should be voluntary. But I think it's a nice idea to make dcs aware of the wider community.

Fetes, sponsored walks etc take a lot of planning and organisation (usually by volunteers) and can be very disruptive to the school.

PigValentine · 14/02/2011 20:34

I hate this attitude of how dare charities actively raise money. I'm sure those people who turn their noses up at fundraising activity would happily benefit from the services of charities. THis isn't to the OP, particularly, but some of the people on the thread.

It is a well known fact that schools regularly hold fundraising events, either for the school, or for charities. I can't understand why it arouses such outrage! And yes, before anyone says anything, I do know what it's like to be skint.

OP, YANBU to feel stressed about the pressure on your family finances, but YABU to think it is a bad thing just because you don't want to take part in it.

amberleaf · 14/02/2011 20:40

Charity isnt a bad thing, raising money for charity is good, but it is wrong to force/guilt trip people into doing so without a thought for their own personal circumstances.

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