at DS's nursery and their gender stereotyping?!

[oneofthosedays]

Not really a massive issue/AIBU - I just found this attitude from nursery amusing!

Picked DS (3y) up from nursery on Thursday and asked how he had been. Pre-school leader said he'd been fine, but 'a bit of a monkey, he's been quite cheeky', think he'd been answering back bit and not really co-opeating with the activity. He's like this at home and he does get told off/punished for it (toys taken off until behaving better, naughty step sometimes depending how bad he's being etc). So I apologised and reprimanded DS lightly (other kids around so didn't want to show him up too much) and said I'd have a word at home (which I've done on the other couple of occasions he's behaved like this).

Leader laughs and says 'it's fine, really - he's a boy after all! It's to be expected!'.

I just laughed whilst internally disagreeing that DS should get away with being cheeky and disruptive just because he's a boy. It's amazing that people still think like this!

I think that nurseries are especially bad for gender stereotyping. The early years are a time in children's development when they are looking to fit in with expectations, define themselves and I think that this sort of stuff (boys will be boys, girls sit quietly, boys are rambunctious etc etc) is actually really problematic. Certainly it was the point in my children's lives when they suddenly started with the "girls can't be doctors" type comments.

We had a lovely nursery, with a group of very kind and loving workers, but when we discovered that for some time they had been holding his head whilst he tantrumed because they were worried he would hurt himself (and that he regularly threw his shoes at them) we did ask them to tell us if he wasn't behaving well. I think that parents need to know how their child is behaving. So better to be told how your ds misbehaved than the general 'he's a bit of a handful' type comment.

jamie - it's so influriating isn't it. My 3.5 year old said yesterday 'girls like pink and can't play football all from nursery.

watching my own DH treat DC4 (the first girl) has been fasinating; so much more softly than the boys, he wouldnt do any 'rough play' with her til I made him, though she loves it!

nooka, i don't agree i have worked in a nursery for several years, we continually work on a daily basis ensuring that the children are not stereo typed into boys only play with these toys and behavior like this, and so on

We have many parents, ask us not to let there boy play with push chairs, or to dress up, or even to paint with only boy colours. Or not to let the girls go on the climbing frame, or play on the bikes. Are activities are there to let the children play and be themselves and not to discriminate between the sexes, i have seen a mixture of children throughout the years who have shown, rough aggressive behavior, and not all have been boys, i have met more than one drama queen that wasn't a girl.

Not only do we have to provide activities that are age appropriate, inclusive to all children that stimulate them holistically and are fun, it wouldn't be worth the hassle to start making them gender appropriate.

Now i can only speak for my nursery, when i say this, but i would find it hard to believe that any nursery out there would actually enforce gender stereotyping.

YANBU. Insidious sexism can be worse than the obvious kind.

tralala - how do you know that is from nursery, could it not be just your son making his own observations maybe from lots of girls dressing in pink, or and outside influence on tv toys tend to be gender stereotyped, dolls advertised for girls, with lots of pink maybe these things are influencing your sons ideas on what girls like and don't like, i personally don't watched toy adverts that much but how often do you see footballs advertised for girls?

Sounds like you work in a great nursery there cookie, and I'm sorry that the parents are looking to restrict what their children get up to.

yes, me too. I think that some children get told by their parents - boys don't play with dolls/like pink etc, and pass it on to their DCs.

bulby - perhaps I didn't expain myself very well.

I'm concerned that my dd's reception class was set up so that for at least 50% of the class, the opportunities on offer were inappropriate. This in turn led to poor behaviour (or behaviour that was considered poor by the teacher), which was punished/monitored by being moved down on the zone board.

I believe it is possible to view it two ways:

Either - the provision was poor/inappropriate for boys

Or - the teacher was biased against the boys and only picked them up for their poor behaviour, and not the girls

It is absolutely not possible that only the boys mis-behaved in that class, so why would only the boys be moved down on the zone board.

In my opinion, it was a bit of both of the above options.

Luckily my dd is now in year 1, and her former Reception teacher is due to retire this year. I truly hope that the school will appoint someone to replace her who is supportive to the needs of all children in that class. I know from our point of view that my dd would have benefitted from a far more practical, hands on Reception year, which encouraged exploration and problem solving, which I believe would also have been more appropriate for many of the boys in the class, than what they were actually offered.

Continutally seeing the boys in her class being moved down on the behaviour board reinforced the stereotype that "boys are naughty" in my daughters eyes.

Sorry - bit of a rant!

daughter's

Littlefish. Excellent post

Not too ranty then JamieLeeCurtis .

It was a massive bug-bear of mine last year. One which I raised with the head teacher. My dh kept saying "but dd is ok, so why are you worrying". I just felt intensely uncomfortable with what I viewed as overt sexism which was not being addressed.